How to Stop Your Suffering

by Alan Hewitt on October 8, 2013

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Morty Lefkoe is president and founder of The Lefkoe Institute. He is the creator of a series of psychological processes (The Lefkoe Method) that result in profound personal and organizational change, quickly and permanently.

Here’s a short interview with Morty:

Q. How do people’s beliefs lead to unwanted behaviour?

A. All of our behaviour and emotions seem to be the result of the things we believe. You can always ind a belief underlying any behaviour pattern and when the belief goes way, the behaviour changes. As an example, if you believe that relationships don’t work, then you will expect them not to work, or you stay out of relationships altogether. Or you begin one, and it does not work, and you do not try to make it better.

So you act and view things consistently with that belief. It determines how you perceive things, how you feel, how you act, and ultimately becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. If the belief is responsible for the behaviour, and you eliminate the belief then obviously the behaviour will change too.

Q. How do people come to live according to their beliefs?

A. Most of us are not aware of the beliefs that we have. There have been many cases where
people have become aware of their beliefs, said to themselves they were nonsense, but they still had the beliefs anyway. So the beliefs run your life whether you’re aware of them or not, and sometimes even when you disagree with them.

Q. Why are negative self-images so prevalent?

A. They are primarily the result of parenting. Everyone who becomes a parent thinks good parenting is automatic. Few people get instruction in parenting. And given the way beliefs are formed by children, given what children see from parents who have no parenting experience to insure that negative beliefs do not get formed, almost everybody forms some negative beliefs.

In the last 10 years, there has been more parenting instruction. I suspect 20 years from now there may be a lot more people who do not have these beliefs. Thirty or 40 years ago there were no parenting courses. Very few parents understood that their behavior and their statements could lead to negative decisions on the part of their child.

Parents don’t think about the beliefs that are being formed by their children; they are thinking about what their child is learning and how he or she is behaving. A lot of the ways we get children to stay off the furniture or finish their food leads them to negative self-images. They can think something is wrong with them.

Q. What can people do to get rid of unwanted behavior?

A. I don’t know if there is anything people can do themselves. The decision-maker process makes it possible for most people to identify the specific beliefs that are responsible for a dysfunctional emotional or behavioral pattern and eliminate the belief and pattern. But this is not a self help process.

Ultimately, I want people to realise that the decision-maker process can make a change in virtually every problem, from eating disorders to depression, to alcoholism, to crime and violence. Then I want to make it available to anyone who wants it.

For more information on The Lefkoe Method, click here.

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