What Does It Really Take To Live “In The Now”?

by Alan Hewitt on March 15, 2012

By Robert Kirby
February 15th, 2012

If you ever experience difficulty “being present? then this may be a recurring theme heard from those who love you…..where are you? “What is behind that faraway look in your eyes? Why do you so frequently split away from the present moment?”

You may respond differently to this enquiry depending on who asks. “I’m just daydreaming” you may say, or if it is someone you really trust you may say “I’m worried about my job” or “I’ve been distant and non-communicative with my partner or kids and I do not know why.” You may also experience actually being in conversation with those you love without truly being present.

If this problem is happening to you or those you love, including your children, then getting to the root cause may turn your life around.

Advantages Of Authentic Presence

Being present permits you to live life to the fullest – to enjoy all the richness life has to offer. Only in the present moment do you attain contact with the “inner core” or centre of your being. This is a place deep inside you that’s connected to “oneness” and all the manifestations of love in the universe.

It also attaches your soul to the ascending vibrations of the universe. This means you are able to give and receive love very deeply. You are able to express your unique creativity and deliver it to the world with shameless dignity. This a burning desire within you that demands fulfillment.

Every thought you have and every word you speak is an intention that creates your future. In other words your only source of positive creation is in “now” moments in which you were consciously creating and planting seeds for your future harvest.

For example, if you are disappointed in your present life circumstances you could choose to take responsibility for your life instead of blaming life or others. Why? Because you now know that you set these dynamics in motion in the past at times when you were in a negative mood – thinking and saying things about yourself, about your life or about others that were fearful, doubtful, resentful, spiteful, judgmental or just plain negative.

You created your pain unconsciously by not being present – not being conscious of the power of your own tools of creation – your thoughts and the spoken word. Being present means you are breathing deeply – inhaling and exhaling completely each and every moment.

Simply put, you created the present life you have in the past in other “present moments” such as this one. The seeds you planted back then – positive or negative – have become your life today.

Understanding the potency of your own creative juice is your greatest incentive to being present. Since your consciousness is unlimited then you now have no excuse to not build the life of your dreams from the sacredness of this present moment.

Your authentic presence is an indication that you are not “hung up” in the past – the distorted past which is based on half-truths or limited beliefs you learned from your parents.

Being Here Now permits each and every breath you take to be safe, vulnerable, intimate and passionate with your loved ones. Why? Because you are not distracted by unfinished business from the past or anxiousness regarding what will become of you. You permit yourself to truly enjoy the now moments while simultaneously planting seeds in each aware moment for a happy future.

Your business associates and clients or patients will feel honoured by your aware and loving presence. They will feel seen, heard, validated and supported like never before. All of you will be there with them and genuinely interested. You’ll make them feel like the most important person in the world – while in your presence.

Being Present and Heart

To be present you must be grounded in the moment. Grounded means to be fully embodied and connected to mother earth. The earth is the home of your humanity.

If someone is referred to as “the salt of the earth” they’re fondly considered to be a genuine or real person. This type of person is usually physical or hearty and loves the outdoors. In other words, their heart is open because they are “in touch with their inner life” and they share it with others by being present.

When your heart is open you are happy, you love deeply and truly enjoy your own presence.

Being Present and Spirit

Your spirit is the aspect of your soul that is consciousness. It is connected to your most passionate expression of God. In grounded, expanded states of consciousness, your spirit soars to greater and greater heights of presence. Every fibre of your being is focused in the now.

It is your spirit that connects your heart to your soul, mind and body. Your authentic presence inspires others to live in truth. This journey is related to being and not doing. This unification of consciousness is your pulsation toward wholeness. It connects all of you to everyone else and the entire universe.

The Effects of Not Being Present

The symptoms of having your attention somewhere other than the present moment include daydreaming, fantasizing, anxiously rehashing conflicts or problems from your history, fearfully dreading or anticipating more disappointment in the future or going somewhere out of present time but not remembering where you went or why.

In addition, many people feel overwhelmed with too much on their plate and simply cannot focus on any one task for any length of time. Symptoms also tend to include depressed or unmotivated people with low energy reserves. They frequently do not trust themselves, have low self-esteem and lack faith that the process of life will unfold in their favour.

Finally, terrified people who avoid conflict at all costs and feel either unwelcome or, that they do not belong in this world.

If you are a daydreamer you go out of the present time to a place where you feel excited and competent. You leave situations when you feel inadequate.

A good example is while reading you come across a word you do not understand. If you choose to skip over it you feel inadequate and then lose your focus. By the time you get to the end of the page you realise you have been daydreaming.

A survey about sexual fantasies revealed that married partners are imagining they are with someone else fifty to sixty percent of the time while making love to their spouse. This lack of presence may account for the feelings of separation many couples experience over time.

When you feel anxious, fearful, depressed or compulsively relive old painful experiences you have left the present moment in a distorted way. The painful memory you cannot let go of represents unfinished business from childhood. The unresolved wound or trauma serves as a filter or reference point from which you evaluate your life.

Whenever life presents circumstances that could result in conflict, pain or disappointment you leave the present moment and re-enact the frozen pattern. Although this reality is common for many people it is unhealthy and precludes the peaceful benefits of being present.

Although you may have a multitude of symptoms of not being present, the most challenging would be the inability to focus on the task at hand. The modern world asks us to be super human, effective, efficient and very competent at many things.

Unless you grew up in a family with parents that were over achievers and enormously supportive and validating, you may be lacking in self-love, self-acceptance and self-esteem. This can manifest itself in depression, withdrawing from others or lack of motivation.

Your private thoughts may contain negative “parental voices” that are self-defeating. Thoughts of giving up, worthlessness and suicidal feelings are on the rise. Every self-rejecting thought you have and word you speak that undermine your magnificence is like playing with fire. It dilutes your powers of creation and guarantees a future of disappointment.

The Muscular Block

Since your body energy contains consciousness, the cause of the block becomes part of your denial or disconnection. If the pain from the past is very intense the muscular block becomes very chronic and contracted. It can recur even after deep massage treatments with a physiotherapist or chiropractor.

Some people experience leaks in their body energy system. They occur in the areas of the wrists, ankles or throat. You would feel emotionally or physically exhausted and find it difficult to focus. The causes of energy leaks may be from childhood physical or sexual abuse. They may also occur from witnessing this happen to your loved one.

An equally frustrating block to being present and the unimpeded flow of life energy is the physical and emotional armouring of the chest plate and between the shoulder blades. This stems from years of parental rejection, criticism and lack of acceptance or validation.

The physical mesh armouring is unconsciously put in place to protect your heart from more pain. It is associated with emotional numbness, a closed or broken heart and fearfully living in your head.

As you can obviously see, there is a strong connection between the healthy pulsation or streaming of your life energy and the ability to focus on the present moment.


If you desire to be completely honest with yourself, you realise by now that every time you leave the present moment you have gone back into your past. Projecting your history into the present and future may have destructive consequences.

Your attachments to painful moments from your childhood distorts your reality and causes you to react or over react in similar ways. Your defended state is an antenna that attracts more painful experiences.

Breaking the Pattern

The first step in bringing yourself completely back to being present is to notice the moment between your inhalation and exhalation. This observation permits you to feel that you are safe in the present and that you are not responsible for everything. It is in God’s hands and it is okay to just be.

The second step is to get in touch with your body. Begin with stretching exercises or yoga and breathe deeply into contracted or painful areas. If you go to classes be sure to select a teacher who is grounded and present.

Next, go for bush walks or barefoot on the beach or in a park at least three times per week. You can combine the walks with your exercise routine. If you enjoy meditation or prayer it is better to do it everyday for a short while than intermittently.

Do your exercises first to ground you and to move energy away from your head prior to meditation or prayer.

Another practice that creates being present is to circulate your sexual energy throughout your body. The specific techniques are easy to learn from an illustrated book that is well written. This also increases performance and pleasure.

Getting Serious

If you are ready to take swift action then find yourself an experienced body worker trained in deep tissue and muscular release techniques. They can begin to gradually release your muscular blocks and chronic armouring of your chest and midback. Cranio-sacral workers are also effective for these conditions.

Martial arts classes including Tai-Chi are very effective in grounding, circulating the body energy and helping you to find focus and presence. The challenge is that martial arts takes years of disciplined training and persistence to master. If you are so inclined you will experience enormous improvement in your ability to focus.

Acupuncture treatments on a regular basis by a skilled practitioner will effectively circulate your body energy. They can release blocks and build up energy in the weak areas of your system.

In dealing with issues of guilt and resentment, you could see a skilled psychologist or psychotherapist. They will assist you in breaking the mental and emotional patterns of neurosis that keep you stuck.

Hands on healers who truly address the grounded state of consciousness will assist you in freeing your body energy and healing your chakras or psychological energy centres. This brings awareness back to the present time. This healthy state of mind can give you incites into deeper states of awareness and a real spiritual boost.

If you are open to energy medicine you may consider a comprehensive system which includes psychodynamic assessments, character analysis, diagnosis of energetic personality patterns, charging and discharging the energy system of negativity through movement, breath and sound. For this try bioenergetics or somatics therapy.

Finally, to step into a process that further explores energy medicine by unifying the mental, emotional, spiritual and physical dimensions of “energy and consciousness” you might consider Core Energetics.

First begin exploring your physical body to open up the surface blocks. This may free up the flow of energy in your legs and allow you to focus more effectively.

If you believe your issues are more psychological, spiritual or energetic, then it is best to seek professional help to guide your journey into Being Present.

About the Author
Robert Kirby’s qualifications are a diverse combination of professional experience, formal education & training intensives. He has been facilitating professional training programs for more than twenty years to more than 12,000 people in integrated body-psychotherapy and energy healing.

Robert commenced his self-development over thirty years ago with multiple trainings & courses in public speaking, acting, improvisational theatre, human relations, self-esteem / self image building as well as sales skills & negotiations.

Since then he has attended over 150 trainings & workshops in diverse subjects such as successful entrepreneurs, psychology of success, transpersonal hypnosis, vibrational healing, pranic healing, kinesiology, the new biology, brain research, advanced brain spotting (trauma release), quantum physics, accelerated learning, family constellations, systemic constellations, organizational constellations, voice dialogue therapy, property investments, mysticism, meditation, body-psychotherapy, therapist training in addiction recovery, trauma & abuse, healthy relationships, learning how to learn, dynamics of money, and executive coaching level II.

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