One of the saddest things about betrayal is that it doesn’t come from our enemies. It is the loved ones who inflict this emotional pain on us! And while the physical wounds often heal quickly, sadly, the same can’t be said about the scars of betrayal. Betrayal often maims caring souls in a manner that no words or phrases can describe entirely. Betrayal trauma can lead to several physiological & psychological issues. Primarily because of these reasons, it forms the subject matter of this discussion. We will look at how this traumatic experience can have a long-lasting impact on a person’s mind and body.

Psychological Impact Of Betrayal Trauma 

Our brain has an in-built response to stress, anxiety, and depression. The limbic and hippocampal regions constitute the emotional response centre in our brain. Critical events unfold in these regions, changing how our brain defines abstract concepts like trust, safety, and relations. In simple words, post-betrayal, the emotional response centre enters into the state of a survival mode. The limbic system now starts acting much like an alarm; its constant ringing makes the hippocampus scan and search for memories. That is when accuracy, trust, and confidence begin to fade away from one’s system. Doubt becomes your companion for most of your day; feelings of insecurity and unsafety tarnish your overall profile. Every little thought you once cherished now feels a tainted, dislocated memory.

Of course, this is a rather simplistic explanation of the effects of betrayal on the brain. In most cases, unfortunately, these changes are not short-term. Continuous exposure to stress can make the limbic system enter a prolonged state of hyper or hypo-arousal. The way your mind perceives changes and recalls memories post-betrayal is heartbreakingly contrasting to how it would typically process these events.

We have just overviewed the psychological reasons for betrayal trauma. Now, let us analyze the responses to betrayal trauma that we commonly observe in our communities and societies. Freezing at the spot is one of the widely spotted responses; fight or flight response is what many people come up with, often following an emotionally upsetting process. We mentioned hyperarousal of the limbic system earlier, leading to a fight or flight response. Feelings of intense anger, fear, and panic typically constitute the fight or flight response. We are sure that some of you might have experienced such feelings suddenly, regardless of betrayal trauma. The exact opposite of this psychological response happens when the limbic system is hypo-aroused. The disconnect between mind and body is visibly discernible during such an event. The disconnect is accompanied by mind fog, memory lapses of the worst degrees, and a lack of emotional relatability. Again, it is worth reiterating that once your emotional response centre enters either of these states, the effects on the brain’s overall ability are drastic. Processing feelings, creating memories, and sometimes, even being in the present becomes a daunting challenge.

Interestingly, there is a third type of response to betrayal trauma. It is what is described as appeasement or people-pleasing in the common lexicon. Once the sword of betrayal scars a person’s heart, it becomes anxious to hold on to whatever relations it still has got around. And so, validating and catering to other people’s needs becomes a must-do-it-at-all-costs event. While it looks like a lovely thing to do on its face, this appeasing approach can lead to an identity crisis in the long run. Result? More betrayals and the associated trauma in the future!

Physiological Impact Of Betrayal Trauma 

The psychological impact of betrayal trauma is not the only bad thing about the experience. Apart from the mind succumbing to the mounting emotional pressures, the human body can also fall prey to numerous physical complications. We talk about the physiological impact of betrayal trauma in this section.

Apart from becoming a home to many stress-induced diseases, the human body’s overall look can change significantly. Emotional disturbance can keep one in bed all day long, leading to issues like weight management. Some people try to find comfort in food and become too reliant on comfort food for their happiness. Obesity is the ultimate result of such an approach. Not everyone overeats, though; some heartbreaks can take away your appetite.

The terrible thoughts just don’t seem to leave the mind alone post-betrayal trauma—problems like hypertension and fluctuating heartbeat stem from this continuous overthinking. Things don’t stop here; matters can worsen as one starts feeling wary of intimacy. And it is perfectly understandable as well; trusting someone is not easy. It takes time, effort, and all of your heart before you can trust or give someone your trust.

Minor physical complications often ignored or attributed to other reasons can also stem from the seed of betrayal trauma. These physical complications include insomnia, nausea, vomiting, rapid hair loss, brain fog, etc. Remember, most of our bodies’ physical problems are a by-product of what goes up there in our minds. So, a road to recovery starts from there; one must cleanse their thoughts first. Only then can one hope to initiate betrayal trauma recovery.

Conclusion

We have painted a rather gloomy picture about betrayal trauma for most of this discussion. And we will be honest, battling the waves of depressions that hit one after going through a traumatic experience of this nature can be a daunting challenge. But betrayal trauma recovery is not an improbable thought. Several strategies can help you recover; finding empathetic support is one of the primary keys to unlocking the doors of betrayal trauma recovery. It might sound a little surprising, but today, betrayal trauma specialists provide their services globally. Seeking the help of one such specialist is an option you can consider. Support groups are another great way to share your sorrow and find solace by forging new relations. Remember, recovery demands patience, but it will give you peace! On that hopeful note, we bid you farewell from this space!

Source link

The post Ways Betrayal Trauma Alters The Mind And Body appeared first on Heal your health yourself.

Ask anyone who’s been betrayed, and they’ll tell you that the “knife in the back” is not only a metaphor but an actual physical sensation. It’s been over ten years since I felt double-crossed by a business partner and walked away empty-handed from what I had believed was my purpose in life. The experience broke something inside me, but that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, especially when I realize that what broke was my naive and innocent belief that a good, honest conversation and mutual compromise could overcome any conflict. Sometimes, nothing can.

Mistrustful of everyone

In the immediate months following my betrayal, I felt suspicious of everyone. I wondered: if someone could encourage me to open up to them only to use that information against me later on, couldn’t anyone? I started to wonder if promises and agreements were nothing more than ruses to hide ulterior motives. Was I a fool? Was everyone out to get me? These dangerous questions threatened to put all my relationships under a dark cloud of mistrust.

Incessant suspicion was an uncomfortable mental place to be in. I had always prided myself on my trusting nature. But this meant I had often shared intimacies with people before they had earned the right to hear them. I had believed that a strong, reciprocal relationship could always outweigh personal ambition. I hadn’t considered that often, blind ambition is precisely the energy that destroys personal relationships.

With time and deliberate inner work, I uncovered the hidden gem inside the pain of my betrayal: a richer connection to my intuition, which then helped me establish confidence as I stepped out to build better relationships, and trust, once again. 

Here are the steps I went through to heal from betrayal and trust myself and others again.

1. Understand that it’s not about you

Betrayal feels very personal, but it’s important to remember that other people’s actions have more to do with their inner landscape than with you. They might be trying to prove something to themselves or others. Or, perhaps your energy reminds them of a previous relationship, and they are acting out of habit, insecurity, fear, or protection. Really, none of this is your business. When someone betrays your trust, understand that they would do that to anyone in your shoes. No amount of wondering why they did it helps with the healing, so if you can, let those thoughts and ideas go.

2. Understand that it’s completely about you

Wait, didn’t I just say that it wasn’t about you? Yes. But also: it’s entirely about you. Meaning this: betrayal of your trust by someone else reflects a betrayal of yourself by yourself. For example, in my situation, my body had tried to warn me in a hundred different ways that something wasn’t right. But, I dismissed the headaches, insomnia, and nightmares. So—where was the real betrayal? 

None of this is to transfer blame from the other person to yourself. It’s more practical than that: becoming aware of where or how we have wronged ourselves is how we ensure we don’t do it again. As author Byron Katie says, “As long as you think that the cause of you problem is “out there”—as long as you think that anyone or anything is responsible for your suffering—the situation is hopeless.”

“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” – Socrates

3. Forgive…or not

Many people believe that forgiveness is an important part of healing from betrayal. I agree that it can be, but forgiveness is a complicated thing, one that we often misunderstand. Often, we offer it too soon, trying to pretend that we’re “above it all” before we’ve fully processed the hurt. 

For forgiveness to be freeing, it needs to be an act that is all about what it does for you, not the other person, not a bystander, not even a well-meaning advisor. And forgiveness doesn’t mean allowing that person back into your life again at any level. When forgiveness works best, it resets your boundaries—the same boundaries that were violated in the relationship. And, it helps you reclaim space in your heart and mind that was transgressed. 

4. Cut ties

To effectively heal from a betrayal, you have to put yourself in a protective bubble. The best way to do this is to cut all ties, whether this is on social media or leaving in-person friend groups or social circles. For the time being, you need to put your well-being ahead of everyone else. While this can feel like extra punishment, wrapping yourself in a protective bubble means that you won’t suddenly see a picture come across your phone that reopens wounds that were just about to heal. Yes, you’re strong, but being around people who remind you of the offender will only slow your healing.

Don’t forget the energetic ties, too, and cut the “chords” that were created between you. This can be done via journaling or meditation, where you visualize these connections and imagine taking scissors to them. You will be amazed at how quickly this simple practice frees up space in your mind and heart.

5. Renegotiate your relationships

This is the step where you get to renegotiate your relationships—starting with the one with yourself. Can you see the signs you missed? Can you make peace with your emotions and body for their efforts in the situation? And, will you commit to listening more closely to the still, small voice within you that might point out something you don’t want to see? While we can’t always heal the damage betrayal does in a relationship, we can develop a deeper reliance on our body’s signs and signals from now on. 

You know you’re healing when…

You know you’re healing when you can look back on a person or an event and not feel your heart race or your palms sweat. You’re healing when that person doesn’t take up so much space or time in your life, or when hours or days go by without thinking of them. And, after enough time goes by, you know you are healed when you can look back with compassion for yourself while also recognizing how much wiser you’ve become. One day, you might even thank that person for making you who you are today. I know that sounds crazy, especially if you’re fresh off a betrayal. Ten years ago, I would have agreed that the idea of thanking my ex-partner was bonkers. But here I am, and I have nothing in my heart left around this situation except gratitude and understanding.

No one ever wants to experience a betrayal. But, if you do find yourself with the proverbial knife in your back, you can use these steps to melt that knife into wisdom, discernment, and a more intimate, trusting relationship with yourself, which will translate into healthier relationships with others going forward.

Source link

The post How to Heal From Betrayal and Trust Yourself (and Others) Again appeared first on Heal your health yourself.