I woke up and groaned. It was a Monday, again. My calendar was choc-a-bloc with meetings and presentations. I dragged myself out of bed, looked at the figure in the mirror, and started crying at the sight of the tired face with sunken eyes and slumped shoulders.

Prestigious education degrees, dream campus placement followed by impressive lateral movements, and a high-profile corporate job with a seven-figure salary. I was a successful professional by the world’s yardsticks. Yet I was crying like a loser in my bathroom.

‘You haven’t slogged this long to spend your days on autopilot. You have not come so far to not have time for family and friends,’ said a voice in my head. This time I didn’t silence it.

I was disenchanted and disillusioned for the last few years of my corporate career. The voice in my head had been goading me to change my life’s direction. But I felt trapped. This career was what I had aspired for, was good at, and what I had done all my life. I had no hobbies and passions.

While I loved my husband and daughter, my work was my identity. I was afraid of losing this identity and the associated independence. 

‘Then be prepared to spend Mondays waiting for Fridays for the rest of your life,’ the voice in my head whispered.

“No,” I screamed, wiping away the tears streaming down my cheeks, and shouted, “I want to wake up with a smile every day.”

That day I gave my notice at work. “You have lost your head,” people said. For a change, I didn’t listen to them. I was willing to incur the sharp pains of self-discovery than endure the dull ache of listlessness for the rest of my life.

That was a year ago. Today I get up from bed early in the morning and enjoy two newspapers at leisure while sipping tea on my scenic balcony. I have the privilege of choosing the people I work with. I enjoy doing what I do, and work doesn’t feel like work.

So, how did everything change? How did I find my direction and make a successful career pivot after losing myself?

“When you stay on purpose and refuse to be discouraged by fear, you align with the infinite self, in which all possibilities exist.” – Wayne Dyer

How I first uncovered my passions…

I used my notice period to think, reflect and figure out that I needed to pursue my passions to feel fulfilled. Either at work as a profession or outside work as a pursuit. So, uncovering my passions was the first step.

Here are the lessons from my self-discovery phase:

1. Ask for help from your trusted friends. Then eliminate and select.

Reach out to a set of people close to you whom you trust and who have known you for at least five years. Be direct and specific about the support you want from them to get constructive results.

I reached out to four of my closest colleagues to list five areas of my strengths with reasons and examples. As a result, I not only got a list of skills but also a third-party validation of these capabilities — a much-needed confidence booster.

2. Reflect on what gets you to a state of ‘flow’.

The answers to all your questions lie within you. Spend time with yourself to get those answers. I asked myself three specific questions:

• What did I love doing as a child, as a teenager, when I first started work?
• When was I last so absorbed in something that I lost track of time? What was I doing?
• If I were accidentally locked in a bookshop overnight, which section would I camp out in?

It became apparent to me where in which areas I should apply my skills even as I noted the answers.

3. Upskill yourself.

You put in the hard work while pursuing your degree to land that job, didn’t you? You will have to do the same again to transform your passion into a pursuit or profession. Especially if your chosen future area is entirely different from your current domain.

Choose wisely and prudently among the virtual courses, certifications, diplomas, and degrees. The aim here is to build a foundation for your future success and not simply add an extra credential to your LinkedIn profile.   

I decided to pursue two divergent careers, both completely different from one another, and unrelated to my previous background, opting for simultaneous certifications in both areas. This helped me transform my nascent ideas into a structured plan.

…and then transformed them into professions.

After I had zeroed down on my passions, I dived headlong into my new careers. These are my learnings from the phase:

1. Do while you learn.

How did you learn to ride a bicycle? By riding it. How did you become adept in your first job role? By doing it. It is no different during the transition.

If you wait to complete that course or degree to restart, you will be short of confidence and time. The best time to put your knowledge to use is while acquiring it. I started publishing my writings on online platforms within the first two weeks of my writing courses. I followed the same approach for my other venture.

2. Join peer support groups.

A peer support group that bonds over a common goal is crucial during your transition. It helps you to be accountable, encourages you to give your best, provides constructive feedback and pulls you up when you are down.

A peer support group will help you not feel alone on the lonely road of transition. Some of the best ideas for my new ventures came during my interactions with people in these groups.

3. Take small but consistent steps.

Transformation is an outcome of several incremental steps. Consistency establishes a process. Process brings results.

If I had imagined myself as a published author on day one after I quit my job, I would have been paralyzed by fear. Instead, I focused on writing at least 500 words every day. And I have been doing that ever since, even on my vacation and sick days.

4. Embrace the new you — with your backstory.

‘What do you do?’ You might fumble to answer this common question during your career transition. That’s what happened to me in the initial months after my pivot.

Then I realized that the world would not accept me in the new roles unless I accepted myself. So, I wrote and recorded my new professional introduction and listened to it daily till I got comfortable answering this question.

You are a different person at 25, 35, 45, etc. Be grateful for your past, enthusiastic about your present, and excited about your future. The world will follow your lead.

Tapping into your inner self will bring you the happiness you deserve

Stop being busy and tap into your inner self. Uncover at least one activity where you will enjoy the process as much as the outcome. Then pursue that activity. Your life will acquire a new meaning.

Listening to that little voice in my head made me find my life’s purpose. I now wake up with a smile every day and am the happiest I have ever been. So is my husband.

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You manifested your vision, and now you’re living your deepest calling. Or, at least, that’s what you tell yourself. But you don’t sleep well. Your body feels sluggish and unsteady. Your appetite is nearly non-existent, as are your self-care routines. Worst of all, the intense workload is creating physical or attentive distance between you and the people and activities you love.

Still, the thought of leaving is inconceivable. After all, this was your vision; how could it have led you astray? And how could there possibly be a greater calling for you than this?

This scenario played out in my life years ago, when I followed a vision to open up a yoga studio. It is only now, having left that world to become an author and freelance writer, can I see how my vision prevented me from discovering my true calling for far too long.

Heeding a Calling

“There is no greater gift to give or receive than to honor your calling. It’s why you were born. And how you become most truly alive.” – Oprah

You’ve got a great vision for yourself. You picture yourself doing this far into the future. But is it a vision that is in support of your greater calling? Or is it merely a shiny ball, keeping you distracted and too busy to fulfill something richer? Here are four questions to ask yourself to find out:

1. Where did the vision originate?

A true calling is often so unusual and unique, it will make your ego—which is more comfortable with conformity and mix-and-match creations— quake in its boots. True callings originate far beyond an ego’s temporary hungers for validity and approval. If the vision originated to soothe your ego’s lack of confidence or as a way to gain desired acceptance, it’s likely not a true calling but a temporary vision. On the other hand, if your vision scares you (and your ego), it might well be the real deal.

2. Who is the vision trying to please?

A vision can be born out of other people’s opinions and expectations for us without us actually knowing it. For example, you envision yourself becoming a doctor because your parents were doctors. You plan to go into theater or sports because that’s what the people around you enjoy. You might be a natural at something, even if it would be better as a hobby.

A calling, on the other hand, is pure and untouchable. It doesn’t try to please anyone but merely seeks expression. And that’s okay, because when you find your calling, it won’t matter to you what anyone thinks. One hint: A powerful calling is often more in line with what society needs rather than what it wants.

3. How far can you trace the vision back?

Our calling is an innate part of us; it was born when we were. But, as we grow older and get inundated with societal influences, our early loves and passions can get buried or silenced. 

Then, moving through life, we might become infatuated with some new thing, and immediately determine that that’s our vision for the future. But like many doomed love affairs, an infatuation often cools and interest wanes. 

Not so with a calling. You’ll know something is a true calling if it never goes away, no matter what we might cover it up with temporarily. Try thinking back to what you loved most as a child. Were you a natural peacemaker? Did you love organizational or strategic games? Did you take diligent notes? Your childhood loves and innate talents can give you a clue as to what your true calling is.

4. What kind of payment/sacrifice is your vision asking for?

Both a temporary vision and a deeper calling will demand certain sacrifices from us to bring them to fruition. But what, exactly, are they demanding? Are they demanding you walk away from people and activities you love? Are they overshadowing your needs for leisure, travel, or other personal desires? If your vision forces you to choose between the other activities and people you love, it might not be a true calling.

True callings magically and seamlessly weave all the parts of ourselves together into a cohesive sense of rightness. Keep in mind this simple wisdom: Temporary visions can swallow us whole. True callings make us whole.

Finding your calling can provide a sense of wholeness and rightness that breathes life into the deepest, truest voice within you. When in the throws of following a vision, it can be easy to assume you’ve found your calling. But even the most potent vision is not necessarily a reflection of our calling. So, look closely at where your vision originated, who it is pleasing, how far you can trace it back, and what kind of payment it is demanding. Then and only then can you gain the clarity you need and, if necessary, ditch your vision to make space for your calling.

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What comes to mind when someone talks about challenging yourself? 

Maybe you think your life is challenging enough.

Or maybe your last challenge has you a bit nervous about embracing a new one. 

The plus side?

You learn from your challenges, no matter what the results. 

So, if your last one didn’t turn out the way you hoped, every lesson you learn gets you closer to the results you want. 

To that end, we’ve found 21 rewarding ways to challenge yourself.

Which one will you try first? 

What Does It Mean to Challenge Yourself? 

You’re ready to learn how to challenge yourself. And you know it’s more than facing yourself in the mirror and saying the words, “I challenge you to do something challenging,” though that can be part of it. 

In fact, challenging yourself out loud can be very powerful. Whatever you say out loud and with intention stays with you longer than words kept inside your head. 

As you’ll soon see, though, challenges go beyond strong words and good intentions. And the best ones (for you) are well worth the effort.

What Can I Do to Challenge Myself? 

The best way to challenge yourself is to take extraordinary action that gets you closer to a goal you want to reach.

The actions you choose should be some challenging things to do you may not have tried before. They should force you to step outside your comfort zone. 

To be worthy of the name “challenge,” your chosen action/s should help you in one or more of the following: 

The point of challenging yourself is to help you become the person you want to be, even if you’re not sure, yet, who that is. 

Challenge Yourself with These 21 Goals 

Look through the following challenges to see what stands out for you. Start with something that scares you a little but that you know you can do. 

1. Build a new daily “brain dump” habit. 

Daily journaling gives you a chance to get your thoughts out of your head so you can deal with them and prime the pump and make the day’s writing flow more easily. 

2. Take a class on something that interests you. 

Sign up for a class that intrigues you and might lead you closer to the life you want.

It doesn’t have to be career-related, either; this could be about a hobby you enjoy or an interest you share with someone close to you. 

3. Learn a new language. 

Whether you’re planning a trip to someplace where English is not universally spoken, or you just want to be able to communicate with non-English speaking members of your community, make time every week to learn a language you’re likely to use. 

4. Start a blog. 

Decide on a specific niche that interests you and write something for your blog every week, even if it’s just something new you learned or random thoughts you don’t mind sharing.

Give yourself a day to edit each post with a clear head before you hit “Publish.”

5. Downsize your possessions.

If, like most people, you’ve accumulated more stuff than you want to have in your living space, challenge yourself to downsize your collection, focusing on one category at a time (the Marie Kondo way).

Enjoy discarding (with gratitude) what no longer serves you.

6. Wake up earlier 

Start waking up at least an extra half hour earlier and use that time for a new morning routine that helps you wake up and prepare for your day.

An extra hour gives you even more time for a new routine that energizes you and helps you reach your goals.  

7. Start a daily meditation habit. 

Start every day with at least five minutes of meditation and build a habit you can easily maintain. Also, learn what you can about the benefits of meditation. Try different types to find the one that suits you best. 

8. Create a new sleep-friendly bedtime routine. 

If you’ve gotten into the habit of binge-watching shows on Netflix until midnight (or later), it’s only a matter of time before you start noticing the consequences: fatigue, brain fog, weight gain, etc.

Create a bedtime routine that ensures you get a good night’s sleep. 

9. Challenge yourself to do at least 20 squats a day. 

Or make it 20 push-ups or a half-hour brisk daily walk. Whatever you know you can commit to daily, whether you go beyond that or not, make a habit of it.

Use an app like Productive to remind you of your new commitment and keep track of your streak. 

10. Reach out to an old friend. 

If you’ve lost touch with an old friend, find them and check on them — if only to see how they’re doing and what they’re up to.

They may take their time answering you (since you haven’t been part of their lives), but keep trying. Show them they still matter to you. 

11. Strengthen your relationships. 

Spend time every week repairing and strengthening your most important relationships.

Make time for sitting down for a heart-to-heart talk with your spouse, your kids, and your close friends to nurture the bonds you have. 

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12. Create a savings or investment plan. 

Make a plan to save or invest a specific percentage of your income or a specific amount of money by the year’s end, and calculate how you’ll get closer to this goal month by month and week by week.

Talk to someone who can help you make the best use of your income.

13. Create a debt management plan. 

Make a plan to cut your debt by a specific percentage this year and calculate the payments you’d need to make each month to reach that goal.

You can focus on the higher-interest cards first or focus on eliminating the card with the smallest balance. 

14. Broaden your culinary skills. 

If your culinary style is “cheap and easy comfort food,” it’s time to build on your cooking skills and try new cuisines.

If you’ve ever tried and loved authentic Indian, Thai, Korean, West African, or other foods but have yet to try your hand at making them, now’s the time.

15. Prepare and cook your own meals. 

If you’ve gotten into the habit of letting other people (i.e., restaurants) cook for you, challenge yourself to prepare and cook more of your own meals.

Start with something simple that you like or set a goal to learn how to make all your favorite foods. 

16. Make some new friends. 

If you want to make friends badly enough, and just hanging out in your usual community hot spots isn’t helping, reach out to someone on social media. Answer their questions, and pose new ones.

Be the kind of social media contact whose comments they look forward to. 

17. Volunteer for a cause that’s important to you. 

Donating to worthy causes is also good, but volunteering in person is more challenging and takes a whole other dedication level.

Consider your options and make some phone calls to see what volunteer opportunities they have and their greatest needs.

18. Spend more time around people who help you grow.

If you’re the average of the people you spend the most time with, raise the average by finding people to hang with who inspire you, support you, and help you grow.

If better company isn’t an option, raise your standards with your books, podcasts, etc. 

19. Create a reading list and work through it. 

Make a list of all the books you want to read. This can an annual list or one you continually update as you go.

Each month, make a point of reading (or listening to) one or more from the list. Mix it up to explore a variety of interests and expose yourself to new ideas.

20. Replace a bad habit with a better one. 

How about replacing a nailbiting habit with a habit of keeping healthy munchies (baby carrots, celery sticks, cucumbers) handy when you’re feeling anxious.

Or think of any habit that’s been holding you back and think of one you’d like to replace it with. 

21. Create a vision board. 

Gather the supplies you need, whether you’re creating a physical vision board or putting something together online. Make it about your whole life or a particular area of it. Put your vision into words using quotes and affirmations that resonate with you. 

Ready to challenge yourself?

Now that you know at least 21 ways to challenge yourself, which ones will you try this week? Which will get you closer to goals you’ve set in the past year? 

Every action you take to challenge yourself yields something, even if it’s just a lesson in how not to do things.

Whatever you learn, you can apply it to future problems to create more effective solutions. Every failure gets you closer to success. 

The more you challenge yourself and your thinking, the faster you grow.  

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How and why are your fears the limiting factors that impede your behaviors and thwart your plans? A form of emotional energy (just like passion), fear is ever present. It comes in many forms and from various sources; whenever we suspect a hidden agenda, or when we are summoned to find a better way of doing things.

Barriers that cause us to distort and ignore unpleasant results; stifle our learning. If induced, it can only be useful as a good short-term non-repetitive motivator. Like other human energy, it can be oriented and employed as an effective tool for success. If it is self-generated, it can stimulate us and provides us with the energy to meet all important opportunities and challenges.

Have you ever wondered: What did happen to all your past goals, plans and actions; if any? Why didn’t they materialize? You may say that you had tried to overcome them, but why are you still in your present situation? Nothing you tried worked in the past, so how different will it be now!

The ONLY ANSWER that I could offer: It is because you are still having negative limitations within you! They held you back in so many ways, and in every way. In reality, when you come face to face with your difficulties; you look for the nearest exit – avoiding them rather than challenge them and move forward. Your focus on your goals is being distracted and you abandon your vision.

These fears are very effective! In the most extreme cases, they are very destructive – causing emotional (mental illnesses), social (shunned and avoided by others) and physical (bodily maladies) results! Normal ones have crossed over the line to destructive ones (in varying degrees) when you allow them to inhibit you from attempting whatever you would like to do or should do.

Regardless of which kind they are, they will continue to thwart your current and future plans and actions; unless you decide to tackle them head on, accepting them as a stimulus. Otherwise, you will suffer their paralyzing effects. Have you really considered every possible restriction thoroughly? What kinds of strategies and plans did you adopt to deal with them?

“I have learned over the years that when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear.” – Rosa Parks

What are these stumbling blocks? They apply to every one of us; and can come in various forms, to name a few, they include fear of:

• Failure or mistakes
• Success
• Disassociation with your current, or even new associations
• Step out of your comfort zones or into the unknown.

They came from conditioning from your past – the people who came before you (your grandparents, parents, even teachers), your peers, and even on starting a job. We were all conditioned to work accordingly and not question authority or facts. They manifested through your personality or temperament, and in your own thoughts of failing and making mistakes. You also want to avoid being ridiculed and what others may think of your sudden failed undertakings.

Your upbringing also often warned you that to be successful is taboo. Success means earning lots of money is sinful or through unscrupulous means.  They also come in the form of the kinds of people you attract and associate with. Such influences can harm you and add to your unease to move out of your comfort zones due to lack of support.

In the form of negative messages from news broadcasts on TV, newspapers or in magazines – on assaults and murders, growth barriers convince us that the world is coming apart. Another commonly overlooked area is our ignorance and neglect of the use of the vast positive resources (books, magazines, tapes and even email newsletters) readily available to us. One thing, for sure, is that all these – induced or self-generated – fears have their limits. It is up to you to discover and halt them before they overgrow to the state of being overwhelming.

How are These Restrictions Limiting Your Actions and Behaviors?

From past ignorance, they lead to further ignorance; not letting us want to explore the Unknown. They lead us to have mixed perceptions of things around us. We thus keep repeating them throughout our daily lives over and over again.

Can You Completely Dispel All These Limitations?

Yes, we all can! You must first realize that FEAR really is no more than False Evidence Appearing Real.

The road to success is never easy for anyone. You only see successful people in their peak moments, not their many years of striving to get there. The two sure things in life are death and taxes. The two sure things on the road to success are failure and doubt.

You must learn from failure and conquer your doubt in order to achieve any success. Thus, you need to have a well-developed plan, with your values as foundation and a vision for yourself from within you; to make that vision happen. In short, there is nothing holding you back. So give them no power in your life. Instead turn them into positive fears and start to enjoy living life on the right path.

Now, decide what YOU REALLY WANT for yourself! Face up to your qualms and turn them around. Regain control of your life as you avoid all the dangers of failure. Put all these down on paper, not just bits and pieces; get a journal. It will come a long way as you plan out your every step of your life from this point onwards.

I used to draft meetings, afraid that I will make the mistakes of jumbling my facts up. Then, I begin to view it as a good thing. It in turn created discipline in me and helped me to be more focused on the important things that I really need to do.

Beware: These hindrances can sneak back even when we are successful. To keep us on our toes, we all need a good mentor or someone to whom we can be accountable to. If you would let the trepidation of letting someone else down be greater than your willingness to let yourself (even your goals) slip away; you are on your way to be a winner, overcoming your personal development barriers.

“Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.” – Marie Curie

Wouldn’t it be great when the day comes for all of us to leave this world, we can be proud that we had LIVED LIFE and made it an enriching and successful one. We all want to be honored and recognized for our efforts during our time on this earth – we all get only one chance. So, let’s not waste it and make the most of it!

Knowing the fundamental limiting factors that most affect your personal actions and behaviors, you are set to focus upon adopting your new life strategies. These include your personal philosophy, and the remapping of your personal values and ethics. Draw up your personal development plan to help you along as you embark onto the fulfillment of your many desires.

NEVER UNDERESTIMATE the power of the change within you – in mind, body and soul – as you grow in your capability to dispel all your personal development barriers. You must be willing to take some risks and accept no excuses from yourself! That way, you will have no regrets in yourself and your life. If one way fails, look for alternative ways to overcome your problems.

Remember that any kind of change and goal achievement – including the mastery of fears – is a learning process as you travel on your road to success. It takes time to happen.

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