Having loving, supportive friends who care deeply about you is part of what makes your world go round.

It makes you feel loved and valued.

You thought you had that, but lately, you’ve been getting the feeling that what you actually have are friends who don’t care about you.

And it’s painful, to say the least. 

Let’s take a look at possible reasons they don’t care, signs to look for, and what to do about it. 

Why Does Your Friend Not Care About You? 

It’s downright hurtful when you feel like the important people in your life don’t care about you the way you care about them.

It can leave you feeling powerless, befuddled, and lonely.

Every person and relationship is different, and it can be difficult to decipher why people think and act the way they do.

If the reasons for their uncaring attitude aren’t obvious (for example, you fought), you’ll need to dig a little deeper.

Doing so can also be painful because it requires a high level of self-awareness and accountability to determine if one of you is at fault or if the friendship simply wasn’t meant to be. 

If you find yourself saying, “My friends don’t care about me,” check out the list below for possible reasons.

• You have nothing in common
• You’ve drifted apart
• They’re going through something personal
• They don’t know how to show they care
• Their priorities changed
• They’re selfish and only care about themselves
• You’re needy or clingy
• You hurt their feelings
• You’re surrounding yourself with the wrong people
• They or you have unrealistic expectations
• You’re misinterpreting their signals (meaning they do care)

15 Hard-to-Face Signs Your Friend Doesn’t Care About You 

Life is too short for crappy friends who treat you like dirt. If you want to know how to tell if someone doesn’t care about you, these common signs will help. 

1. They’re not there for you.

Whether you’re struggling or something wonderful has happened, your friend doesn’t provide the support you need.

When you try to talk to them, they don’t listen, brush it off, or change the subject. Maybe they speak over you, cut you off, or become annoyed at what you’re saying.

Random occurrences like this are possible if they’re busy or have their own things to deal with, but if it seems like they never offer a shoulder to lean on or want to celebrate your wins, it’s a sign your friend doesn’t care.  

2. They don’t try to get to know you.

True friends want to know the real you. Sure, there are varying levels of friendships.

You might reserve certain things for your best friend and refrain from talking about every aspect of your life with other friends, but if it seems like your interactions are very surface level, you might want to consider if the person in question really cares. 

Do they know what you do for a living? Do they know your dreams, fears, values, and beliefs, all the things that make you who you are? 

3. They use you.

One of the classic signs your friend is a user is they only come around when they need you for something, whether that be a favor, advice about a problem they have, or an introduction to someone in your network. 

Though there’s nothing wrong with asking a friend for help, they only seem to reach out when you conveniently have something to offer them.

Otherwise, you never hear from them. Then once they don’t need you anymore, they disappear until they need something else.

Not only that, but they don’t appreciate you. They don’t repay the favor and rarely thank you for your time or efforts. 

4. They don’t share in your joy.

It’s expected that friends celebrate the good times with you. But when you’re excited about something and they’re always negative, or they make backhanded or deprecating comments, it’s a sign they don’t care about you.

Maybe your success makes them jealous or insecure so they undermine it and avoid any kind of praise or adoration.

They don’t congratulate you on your promotion, weight loss, or new home but instead make subtle jabs that indicate it’s less than a big deal.

If your friend invalidates your feelings and accomplishments, you might want to find a better friend. 

5. They’re unaccepting of you.

It’s natural for misunderstandings and disagreements to occur within friendships. It would be unrealistic to expect to get along all the time or never have different opinions. 

But no matter what you do, it’s not good enough for them. They don’t try to understand your choices, beliefs, values, or dreams, but instead, they criticize you or laugh at you. 

You might even feel like you have to hide certain aspects of who you are so you don’t feel judged or insignificant. They do this because they want to feel superior. 

Friends should accept you for who you are, even if they don’t always agree with you. 

6. They don’t make time for you.

Everyone has responsibilities and priorities– work, school, health, personal things, and family. Another item on that list? Friends.

Does your friend always cancel, never show up, or rarely reach out to you first? Do they take days to respond to a simple text message? Are you ever a priority for them?

People make time for important people and events in their life.

Whether they’re not there for you when you’re going through something difficult and need a shoulder to lean on or they never have time to hang out, take it as a sign that they aren’t a true friend.

7. They’re unwilling to compromise.

Sometimes friends disagree on things. It’s common to have different values, beliefs, opinions, and ideas on what fun things you can do next weekend. 

Good friends are willing to give in and do what you want to do sometimes. You would do so for them, right?

But when everything must happen on their terms, whether it’s the restaurant you eat at, the movie you see, or the activity you do, their opinion is the only one that matters.

It is a big red flag and a sign of an uncaring and disrespectful friend. 

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8. They purposely bring you down. 

You want the kind of friends who will build you up, encourage you, and stick by your side. That’s what good friends do.

Not-so-good friends, however, might criticize your decisions or accomplishments, telling you that what you want to do is a waste of time or over your head, or even encourage you to make poor decisions. 

They point out the negatives when good things happen for you and try to make you feel less than them. It’s as though they’re actively rooting against you and want to see you fail. 

The bottom line, if someone negatively affects your mental and emotional health, they don’t care about you. 

9. They disrespect your boundaries.

Honoring your wishes and what you do and don’t like is a sign of a caring friend. That’s called respect and is an integral part of friendship. Violating your boundaries is clearly the opposite of that.

You ask them not to call after 9 pm, but they do it anyway. Or you share something personal and ask that it stay between the two of you, but they blab to mutual friends. Perhaps they use derogatory language they know upsets you. 

You can’t control other people’s behaviors. All you can do is set clear expectations. You may want to find better friends if they don’t behave accordingly. 

10. They gossip about you.

Friends should be trustworthy, period. You can trust a good friend to be honest and kindly tell you their true opinion.

A person who says one thing to your face but something entirely different behind your back is not a good friend. They might make fun of you or belittle you to make themselves look and feel better. 

Or maybe it’s other people doing badmouthing about you, but this person doesn’t put a stop to it.

They let others talk poorly about you without sticking up for you or even letting you know it occurred. 

11. They ignore you.

Regular communication can look different between friendships. Maybe you prefer to talk every day or can go a week without speaking. This sign isn’t so much about how regularly you interact but the quality of those interactions.

You might want to reassess this friendship if your calls or texts go unanswered longer than acceptable. 

Are they always on their phone when you’re together? Do they ignore your comments and tags on social media or turn the other way when you see them at the grocery store?

These aren’t the actions of a true friend.

12. They always blame you.

Conflicts occur all the time in relationships. People have disagreements and make mistakes. It’s human nature.

True friends own their mistakes when you call them out on something they did to hurt or disrespect you. They’re willing to accept responsibility for their part in the fight. 

But when something goes wrong, or you disagree about something, an uncaring friend suggests it’s always your fault. They never admit to being wrong because, in their eyes, they’re always right. 

Or maybe they avoid you until they feel you’ve had enough time to “get over” whatever was bothering you. 

Either way, a lack of accountability in a friendship suggests they don’t care. 

13. You’re their Plan B.

There’s nothing wrong with having multiple friend groups. Sometimes work, college, or road trip friends won’t mesh well, so it makes sense to keep them separate.

But with an uncaring friend, you’re never a priority. It’s not that they’re too busy, although they may claim that’s the case. Instead, they keep you in their life as a backup. 

You’re more of an afterthought or someone to talk to when they have nothing better to do or someone else cancels on them.

They might ditch you at the last minute when they feel like something better comes along.

14. They disappear for long periods.

You don’t need to know where they are or what they’re doing all the time. But good friends keep in touch, even when life gets hectic.

And if they can’t or won’t be present for some time, they let you know rather than leave you waiting and wondering what’s going on. 

Disrespectful friends, on the other hand, may disappear for months or weeks without so much as a quick text to let you know they’re not available. Maybe they started dating someone new, are super busy at work, or have family issues to tend to. Either way, they leave you in the dark. 

15. They exclude you. 

As mentioned in #13, sometimes friend groups are kept separate for a good reason.

Personalities can easily clash and cause undue stress for everyone involved. But a good friend wants to spend time with you and includes you whenever the situation fits. 

Suppose you find that a friend fails to invite you to their birthday party or holiday get-together but includes mutual friends or has invited you in the past, or they block you on social media or in a group chat. In that case, you can safely assume they do not care about you. 

What to Do When a Friend Hurts You and Doesn’t Care 

The signs are there: someone you thought was your friend doesn’t care about you.

Now, what do you do? You are not a doormat. You can and should take action. 

Here are a few things you can do:

• Talk to them. Some conversations, while difficult, are necessary. Maybe it’s something your friendship can survive. But you’ll never know what’s wrong if you don’t ask.
• Set clear expectations. If you feel like mending the friendship may be possible, let them know how their behavior makes you feel and that you won’t tolerate it any longer. If they continue to treat you poorly, let them go. 
• Distance yourself. Why would you waste your precious time and energy on someone who isn’t good for you? Stop calling, texting, and inviting them to hang out. Make new friends and focus on people who do care about you. 
• Practice compassion. Easier said than done for sure, but do your best to be kind to yourself and the other person rather than let it affect your self-esteem or stoop to their unkind level. 
• Seek help. Realizing a friend doesn’t care about you can be difficult to overcome, especially if you thought they were a good friend. Consider visiting with a therapist to help you through. 

Everybody wants and is worthy of meaningful, two-way friendships that are supportive, encouraging, and fun.

If you’re not getting that from your current social circle, address it and then, if necessary, move on and find better friends who do care about you. 

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Friends are a vital part of living a happy, fulfilling life. 

They provide support when you need it, participate in joyful moments, and satisfy the basic human need for connection.

Unfortunately, not all friendships last forever. 

And since most people won’t come right out and tell you the friendship is over, it’s up to you to read between the lines and know the signs someone isn’t your friend. 

Let’s work doing just that. 

What Does It Mean If Someone Doesn’t Want to Be Your Friend? 

You probably want to assign meaning to someone not wanting to be your friend. 

That’s both normal and understandable. But the truth is, no two people are the same, and no two relationships are the same. 

It can be challenging to figure out why a friendship doesn’t work out, and you may never really know. 

Nonetheless, here are a few common reasons someone doesn’t want your friendship.

• You don’t click. Common interests are the foundation of relationships. Perhaps you simply don’t have enough in common.
• Your priorities differ. Do you have opposing core values, beliefs, principles, or responsibilities? Maybe you’re strict with your schedule while they approach life with less structure. Or perhaps they have children, and you’re free as a bird. 
• You’re connecting with the wrong people. It’s not healthy to only connect with people who are exactly like you, but being somewhat like-minded is important. 
• You haven’t been a great friend yourself. Before you get defensive, think about how you treat others. Do you always cancel plans, only talk about yourself, or tease people who don’t like to be teased? A little self-awareness can go a long way. Once you know, you can become more mindful and make changes.

13 Signs Someone Doesn’t Want to Be Your Friend 

Maybe it’s an old friend or a potential new friend, but you feel like something is missing from the relationship.

You’re unsure when someone doesn’t want to be your friend anymore or how to tell if someone is distancing themselves from you. 

These signs can help you figure it out.

1. They never or rarely initiate contact.

Friendships require balance and mutual respect. Both parties are responsible for reaching out and showing interest in the other. 

Is it always you who calls or texts first? Are you always the one asking them to hang out? These are a sign of a one-sided friendship and indicate that they don’t think of you in the same manner you think of them. 

However, context matters. Before you write them off as a friend, consider what is going on in their life. Are they dealing with personal issues or a stressful work situation that’s likely taking up a lot of their time?

2. They’re unsupportive.

How do they react when you share your goals, dreams, and accomplishments? Do they encourage you and share in your joy?

Or do they minimize your effort or results, claim anyone can do what you did, or try to one-up you? These things point to selfishness and insecurities on their end.

Some people are naturally competitive. While that can act as a motivator to be your best self, friends shouldn’t make you feel like you have to beat them in life.

If it feels like they’re competing with you rather than rooting for you, take it as a sign they aren’t into being friends. 

3. It’s always about them.

When you chat or hang out, all they talk about is themselves. It’s always about their problem or big news. 

They never ask about what’s going on in your life, the projects you’re working on, or your significant other. 

And when you bring something up, they find a way to change the subject back to them. 

It’s okay that they want to share with you, but not when it robs you of sharing your own happenings. Relationships require give and take from both sides.

If you feel more like a sounding board and rarely get to contribute to the conversation, it’s a sign they’re more interested in themselves than in a relationship with you. 

4. They don’t share details about their life.

On the flip side of #3, maybe they don’t open up to you or share any personal details about themselves. 

Your interactions are very surface-level and lack real connection. They might be okay engaging in casual conversation but seem uncomfortable when you ask about their life. 

While it’s normal to take time to warm up to people and trust them, real friends are open to sharing at least something about themselves. Not doing so indicates they have no interest in letting you get to know them. 

They may view you as more of an acquaintance than a friend.

5. They frequently cancel on you. 

It’s not uncommon for last-minute occurrences to affect plans. People get sick, have family emergencies, and double book themselves all the time. 

But if they cancel EVERY time or don’t have a good reason for doing so, they might be avoiding you.

Also, know that just because they make plans doesn’t mean they will follow through. Maybe they felt put on the spot or didn’t want to hurt your feelings.

If they offer lame justifications or the same excuses repeatedly, take it as a sign that they’re not interested in a real friendship. 

6. They’re never available.

People make time for what’s important to them.

It’s certainly possible they’re swamped, but never having time for you suggests you’re not a priority – especially if their social media activity shows them out and about with other people. 

They might be focused on other priorities or relationships, and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with either of you.

It just means they aren’t a real friend. If they don’t have time for you, move on to those who do. 

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7. They ghost you.

You call, text, and tag them on social media but get no response or find yourself waiting days to hear back. Their silence is deafening and makes you wonder what you did wrong or why they don’t like you. 

Being ghosted just plain sucks. It’s painful when someone you thought was a friend vanishes without a trace or continually blows you off. 

If this happens, know that there’s nothing wrong with you. It says more about the person doing the ghosting than it does about you. 

Find yourself some new friends and move on. 

8. You’re the butt of their jokes.

A little teasing is one thing, but constantly embarrassing, criticizing, or making fun of you is a whole different level. 

Insecure or just plain mean people often try to feel better about themselves by putting others down. 

Explain how it makes you feel when they poke fun at you and let their reaction speak for itself. If they respond apologetically and are more aware of how they treat you moving forward, it was likely honestly misguided intentions. 

If, on the other hand, they become defensive and claim you’re too sensitive or respond with more criticism, you can safely assume they’re not a real friend, and you’d be better off directing your energy elsewhere. 

9. They’re in a different phase of life.

You probably have friends from all walks and stages of life. Some older, some younger. Some of them work, some attend school, and others are unemployed. 

Maybe one of you is married with three kids, a mortgage, and a demanding 9-5 job, and the other is single, creates your own work schedule, and is out on the town every night. 

Sometimes you can make a friendship work despite those differences. But sometimes, it’s just not meant to be. If the phases of your life make being friends too difficult, accept it and find friends with whom you have more things in common. 

10. They don’t interact with you on social media. 

Some people aren’t active on social media or go through phases of being present and absent. 

For this sign, it’s best to consider their general online presence first. Do they tag other friends or comment on their posts? 

Do they share pictures and status updates about the party they had last weekend, their vacation, or a work situation they’re dealing with?

If their activity is recent enough to suggest they saw the notification about your tag or comment and just aren’t responding, it probably means they don’t want to be friends. 

11. You have a feeling. 

You can’t quite figure out why exactly, but something just doesn’t seem right. 

Maybe they seem distant or fail to invite you to parties but include mutual friends. Or you catch them in lies about why they aren’t available or have to cancel plans with you. 

They might be polite but not overly engaged, with their responses more formal than friendly. 

Perhaps they avoid eye contact, or their body language screams, “Get me out of here!”

Sometimes it’s best to trust your gut. If this “friendship” feels off, it probably isn’t a real one.

12. Their replies are short, if at all.

Sure, everyone occasionally forgets to reply to a text, but real friends care about what you have to say and want to communicate with you. 

That’s not to say they should celebrate every text you send or drop what they’re doing to respond. But it shouldn’t seem like they don’t want to talk to you or are annoyed at your questions or remarks. 

Or maybe they don’t totally ignore you, but their side of the conversation is short, distant, and doesn’t invite further engagement.

If they tend to lack enthusiasm all the time, they may not be interested in a friendship with you. 

13. They only reach out when it benefits them.

Maybe they do reach out, but their reasons for doing so are selfish. Do they only contact you when they need a ride to Target, someone to cat-sit while they’re away this weekend, or to borrow money?

A true friend knows they can rely on you but doesn’t only consider you when they need a favor.

Try this: Next time they ask for something, find a polite way to decline (say you’re busy or going out of town yourself) but suggest getting together to catch up. 

If they get angry or make an excuse as to why they aren’t available, you have your answer. 

What to Do When Someone Doesn’t Want to Be Your Friend 

Losing a friend isn’t easy, especially if it’s a long-time friend. It can negatively affect your confidence and self-esteem if you let it. 

But rather than dwell on it or let it bring you down, there are a few things you can do to cope. 

• Talk to them about it. No need to call them out publicly or engage in a nasty fight. Instead, have a calm, rational discussion. Use “I” statements to express what you’ve noticed and how it makes you feel.
• Take care of yourself. Rejection can feel painful, but practicing self-love and self-care can help. Get a massage or buy yourself something you’ve been wanting. Exercise, eat healthy, and journal about your feelings.
• Make new friends. As the saying goes, “There are plenty of fish in the sea.” So go catch some! There are tons of ways to meet people and build friendships.
• Change your perspective. Sometimes life doesn’t go the way you thought or hoped it would. Know that someone not wanting to be your friend isn’t so much about you as it is about them, whatever their reasons. It doesn’t make them a bad person, just not a good friend for you. 

Just as you don’t want to be friends with everyone you meet, not everyone will want to be friends with you. That’s just life. 

Rather than waste your time and energy on someone who doesn’t want your friendship, find healthy ways to accept it and move on. You’re better off making room for real friendships that mutually benefit both of you. 

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When focusing on weight loss, there are so many diets and habits to help you reach your goals. However, with all the types of diets and foods, how do you know what’s the right option for you? You’re then trying all these different methods because you hear about celebrity weight loss, or a new trend or popular diet. It seems like finding a way to lose weight is overwhelming.

Well now there’s one diet you can eliminate from your options. According to a study done by the New England Journal of Medicine, the intermittent fasting diet does not actually work. In fact, it is no more effective than simply just counting your calories.

In the study, researchers randomly assigned 139 patients with obesity to a time-restricted eating schedule, also known as intermittent fasting, as well as calorie restrictions. The group with a restricted eating schedule was allowed to only eat between 8 a.m. and 4 p.m. The other group just had a daily calorie restriction without having to eat during a given time frame. For 12 months, both groups had to follow a calorie-restricted diet that consisted of 1,500 to 1,800 calories per day for men and 1,200 to 1,500 calories per day for women.

118 of the 139 participants completed the 12-month follow-up visit. The average weight loss in the time-restriction group was 8.0 kg, and 6.3 kg for the daily-calorie-restriction group. Results of analyses also took waist circumferences, BMI, body fat, body lean mass, blood pressure, and metabolic risk factors into consideration.

This showed that among patients with obesity, a regimen of time-restricted eating was not more beneficial with regard to loss of body weight, body fat, or metabolic risk factors than daily calorie restriction.

In addition, there were no substantial differences between the groups in the number of unexpected medical problems that happened during the study.

This study backs up previous research from JAMA Internal Medicine. In a very similar study, researchers conducted a randomized clinical trial that contained 116 adults who were overweight or obese.6254a4d1642c605c54bf1cab17d50f1e

The researchers concluded that time-restricted eating was associated with a very little weight decrease of 1.17%.  This was not significantly different from the decrease in the control group, who lost 0.75%. This showed that time-restricted eating did not show weight loss or benefits to cardiometabolic diseases– a spectrum of conditions ranging from insulin resistance to metabolic syndrome and pre-diabetes, to more severe conditions such as cardiovascular disease and type 2 diabetes.

RELATED: The Dangerous ‘Met Gala Diet’ Kim Kardashian Followed to Drop 16 Pounds.

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“OMG! That’s so me!” Have you ever said this after getting your results from a personality test? If you look around the digital space, you’ll see people identifying themselves by their personality types in all kinds of situations, from business to dating. Whether it’s their Myers-Briggs personality type, their DISC personality, their Enneagram type, or even their zodiac sign, personality types have become a way for people to showcase who they are to others.

Here’s where that becomes problematic—identifying too heavily with your personality can disconnect you from who you are. You are not your personality; you have a personality. Your personality grows and evolves with you. That’s why often you’ll hear people say, “I’m not the same person I was five years ago.”

Humans have a deep need to understand and reflect who they are to other people, and personality tests allow people to feel seen, heard, and understood, while also giving people a way to share that information with others. This can serve as a point of connection, but it can also serve to hold you back or can create barriers in your relationships.

Knowledge doesn’t facilitate change

Knowing your personality type is a useful tool. These tests diagnose your strengths and weakness and can even predict your attitudes and behaviors. This information is powerful because it can point you to where change needs to happen in your life. But the problem comes in when knowledge becomes the stopping point.

The reason people learn isn’t to become more knowledgeable. It’s to apply that knowledge in a way that makes life better. So simply becoming aware of your personality, strengths, and weaknesses won’t shift your attitude or behavior. Creating change in your life requires the implementation of transformational techniques and exercises so you can become the best version of yourself. 

Here are some transformational techniques that can help you take the insights you glean from personality tests and turn them into catalysts for unleashing your potential.

1. Transformational Meditation

When I was certified to teach the Enneagram in 1994, in my presentation to Don Riso and Russ Hudson (the foremost authors and teachers of the Enneagram) I took a person in the class who was struggling with one of the common limitations of her personality type. In order to shift the belief system that was holding her back, I took her through the Transformational Meditation™ technique.

Transformational Meditation™ is a spiritual NLP technique that uses a Higher Power to transform limiting beliefs, negative emotions, and to break through someone’s obstacles to performance. By the end of the exercise, her belief system had completely shifted.

The personality test results pointed to where she needed support so that she could take action and shift the things that were holding her back. Transformational Meditation™ was the tool that she used to make the changes she wished to see within herself. 

2. Learning and implementing structure

This may be a surprising technique for changing your life, but structure corrals chaotic energy. When you don’t have structure in your life, it can lead to things like procrastination, stress, and overwhelm. Some personalities are more attuned to structure and organization than others. So when you have a personality type that doesn’t naturally excel at processes, systems, and frameworks, that’s a skill that you can build. The stronger you become at implementing positive structure in your life, the easier it will become to continuously grow.

Structure speaks to your ability to be disciplined and keep your word to yourself. When you have the power to do those two things, you unlock the code to creating profound change because you will have conditioned yourself to keep going when the new habit or standard becomes challenging. 

“First comes thought; then organization of that thought, into ideas and plans; then transformation of those plans into reality. The beginning, as you will observe, is in your imagination.” – Napoleon Hill

3. Cultivating awareness and making empowered choices

When looking to transform your life, you must first understand where you want to implement change. What are the patterns and cycles that are holding you back or sabotaging your progress? If you haven’t identified these things, then you can’t address them.

In order to cultivate more awareness, you need to create a regular practice, where you go within to explore your actions, emotions, and thought patterns. How did those things play out throughout your day? Write them down in a journal and then ask yourself, “Have these things helped me take a step closer to my goals, or have they pushed me away from my goals?” Once you have those answers, ask yourself if those are patterns that you’d like to continue.

Having the awareness of what’s not working for you and making an empowered choice to change will revolutionize your growth. Let’s define what making an empowered choice is. Empowered choices happen when you take time to weigh the options and decide which path is the right one for you instead of knee-jerk reacting to situations. 

How these all work together

Meditation helps you to cultivate awareness and structure helps you to develop the discipline to make empowered choices that transform your life. These elements flow into one another to help you shift your life instead of getting stuck in personality traits that keep you from your goals. Life is too short for a personality test to dictate your destiny. You’re more powerful than that.

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