Talking to someone about your feelings is crucial if you’re experiencing a mental or emotional health concern. A therapist can help you learn more about what’s happening and how to cope with your situation. A therapist can be your partner in recovery, helping you work through the issues causing problems in your life.

This article will explore what makes therapy an effective treatment for mental health issues. We’ll also discuss the role of a therapist in the life of people facing mental health issues in overcoming these concerns.

How To Choose A Professional Therapist?

When it comes to choosing a therapist, there are a few things you want to keep in mind:

• Find someone who is a good fit for you. It includes both personality and age/experience level considerations.
• Find someone with good references and experience that can help ensure they’re qualified for the work you need to be done.
• Look for someone who offers flexible payment plans if needed.
• Try to find someone near where you live or work so that sessions aren’t disruptive or difficult to schedule in terms of travel time and cost. For example, if you are living in California and visiting a therapist in Washington just because he is famous will not be favorable to you. It will be far better to choose therapists in California and pay a regular visit to them.
• Check out their availability after reviewing their schedule online.

Receive Support And Understanding

In addition to learning about your problems, a therapist will listen to you and help you find solutions. Mental health professionals are trained to be nonjudgmental and non-critical. They won’t tell you how things should be or give you advice that doesn’t feel right for your situation. They also empathize with their client’s feelings and situations, which means they understand why people do what they do. It helps clients feel understood by their therapists. A therapist can provide insight into why someone may act a certain way and offer support during difficult times.

Help Identify And Understand Symptoms

A therapist will work with you to examine the role of your symptoms in your life. It includes their impact on relationships, work, school, and other areas of functioning. For example, if you are experiencing panic attacks when driving alone on freeways but not on side streets or city streets, visiting a therapist can help you explore what settings are behind that triggers these attacks. The therapist may also ask questions about how these situations affect your life and how often they occur. The therapist will also want to know whether any other conditions seem related. This information allows them to develop an understanding of what makes up this specific problem so that they can better treat it.

Help You Recognize The Causes Of Anxiety, Depression, Or Other Mental Health Concerns

A therapist can help you recognize the causes of your anxiety, depression, or other mental health concerns. A therapist can also help you understand the cause of your mental health concerns. A therapist can provide insight into why you may be experiencing particular symptoms and how those symptoms may be related to your life at the time of treatment.

Understanding The Causes Of Depression

Depression is a complex disorder that involves numerous factors, including physical health and genetics. It’s important to understand these factors to treat your condition effectively and prevent it from recurring over time.

Understanding The Symptoms Of Depression

If left untreated, depression can become more severe over time. In addition, the symptoms will likely worsen if they go untreated for too long.

A Therapist Can Help You Heal From Depression

You can do many things to alleviate the symptoms of depression, such as healthy lifestyle choices, positive thinking, and social support. A therapist can help you identify what those are and how to put them into practice.

Cope With Stress And Anxiety

• A therapist can help you cope with stress and anxiety. They have the tools to understand your anxiety, and they can teach you how to cope with it.
• A therapist can help you learn relaxation techniques that reduce stress over time. These include meditation, deep breathing exercises, yoga, and other muscle-relaxing activities like massage therapy or long walks in nature.
• A therapist can also help you develop coping skills. These skills are helpful when life throws stressful situations.

With the help of these skills, you can manage those feelings without becoming overwhelmed by them or ruminating about them for days at a stretch.

Learn To Relax And Make Positive Changes

The benefits of relaxation can be life-changing. When you learn to relax, you are more likely to live a happier and healthier life. The following are some relaxation tips:

• Remember that you don’t have to do anything when you’re relaxing. Allow your mind and body time to recover from the stresses of daily life.
• If needed, use things like music or scented candles to help put you into a more relaxed state of mind. It can be helpful for anyone who’s having trouble relaxing on their own.
•  Try breathing exercises whenever possible throughout the day as well. It will help reduce anxiety levels and make it easier for individuals who suffer from panic attacks or similar symptoms.

Develop Healthy Habits That Work For You

It is a great question and one that’s asked frequently by people looking to make positive changes in their lives. But, of course, the answer will depend on your circumstances. Your therapist can help you understand what healthy habits work for you and how they can help you overcome mental and emotional health concerns.

• Developing healthy habits might mean eating more fruits and vegetables each day, exercising regularly, or getting up earlier. Your therapist may recommend a few different things depending on the results he/she wants to see from your treatment plan.
• Healthy habits won’t solve all your problems overnight, but they can make it easier for you to manage them effectively over time. So even if making significant changes isn’t easy at first, know that small steps are available.

Accept Yourself And Learn To Love Yourself

First, you need to accept yourself. It is the first step to loving yourself and can be a long process. Working with a therapist can help you better understand your feelings and use that knowledge to improve your mental health if you’re struggling with self-acceptance.

One of the most significant ways that therapy can help you is by helping you to learn to think in more helpful ways about yourself and others. It includes learning to develop a more positive outlook and a more realistic and balanced perspective on life.

A Therapist Can Take A Holistic Approach To Wellness

A therapist can take a holistic approach to wellness. A therapist will listen to your concerns and help you see the big picture. A therapist can also help identify unhealthy behaviors or thought patterns that may have developed over time. For example, being anxious always has nothing to do with feeling sad or lonely. Still, when viewed with symptoms like inability to concentrate or sleep problems, these issues might point towards an underlying chemical imbalance that needs treatment. It could affect everything from job performance to relationships with friends and family.

We hope you understand better why therapy can be one of the most effective ways to overcome your mental health concerns. A therapist can help you identify and understand symptoms, recognize their causes, and heal from depression. They can also help you cope with stress and anxiety, learn to relax, and make positive changes in your life. In addition, these professionals help you develop healthy habits that work for you or accept yourself. If these sound like things that could benefit you, speak with someone today.

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If you feel like it might be time for you to retire, but you’re not sure, don’t worry—it’s normal to have a lot of competing emotions when considering such a huge life change. 

After all, your career has been with you for decades.

Retirement is a big decision — one that requires careful planning, especially if you’re planning on retiring early.

But how do you know when it’s time to retire?

As with any major life event, emotional signs can indicate when it’s time for an exit strategy from the office. 

13 Emotional Signs You Need to Retire

Sometimes the signs you are ready to retire aren’t as clear as you might hope.

Many of the indicators may not be obvious because they don’t seem related to retirement.

But if you notice any of these thoughts and feelings, perhaps you’re psyche is sending you a message to say goodbye to the 9 to 5.

1. You feel much less stressed at home than at work.

When we’re relaxing at home and not feeling stressed or overwhelmed by our jobs, it’s time to pay attention. All jobs have some stress, but you shouldn’t feel excessive resistance to going to work every day.

Do you feel more relaxed, less stressed, more productive, and more efficient than ever before at home? Does it seem your job is consuming your whole life? If so, it might be time to consider making a big change in your life.

2. You believe your best years are behind you, not ahead of you?

If you find that you are no longer as enthusiastic about your job as you used to be, it can signify that it’s time to retire.

You may feel like there is nothing more to learn on the job and that you haven’t been as productive in recent years.

These feelings could signal that it’s time for retirement as they have started creeping into your mind more often. They are screaming at you that it’s time to make some changes.

In this case, retiring before things get worse is better than staying at work longer and ruining what has been an enjoyable career.

3. You experience more agitation and restlessness.

Are you restless and unsettled in a job you once loved and found exciting?

Restlessness could suggest you are bored or unhappy with your job. Although finding another job is an option, consider the possibility that retiring is a better choice.

Ask yourself if another job would enliven you or feel equally burdensome. Perhaps you’re just done with the work thing and ready to explore the things you’ve always wanted to do. 

4. You complain about the same things repeatedly.

It might be time to move on if you complain about the same things repeatedly. It’s clear you’re not happy with aspects of your job.

• You can’t change the past, so don’t dwell on it.
• You can’t make other people do what they don’t want to do (even if they just need some gentle nudging).
• You can’t control the weather or your age—so why not let those things go?
• Your boss isn’t going anywhere—you are!

Others notice that you sound like a broken record, so maybe you should also pay attention and take action. 

5. You are increasingly unproductive and distracted.

If you’re spending more time on social media or reading the news, you might not be fully engaged with what’s happening around you. This behavior can translate into a lack of productivity and progress toward your goals. 

Maybe you’ve even stopped caring about your work goals and don’t have the mental energy to pursue them as you once did. Hmm. It sounds like your psyche is trying to tell you something. 

6. You look forward to the weekend more than you did when you were younger.

Weekends meant parties and fun when you were young, but the younger you happily pushed hard Monday through Friday and had energy to spare.

Now that you’re older, weekends can’t come soon enough so you can relax and enjoy time away from work.

If you find that you look forward to Fridays because you’re eager to get away from work, perhaps it’s time to stop clocking in and start checking out. 

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7. It often feels like you’re dragging yourself through the day.

Your work has become a drag, and you don’t feel like you have the energy to do the things you used to enjoy. 

Instead, it seems like you are just going through the motions and waiting for the day to end. You’re just marking time before you can leave for good.

If it feels like you’re dragging yourself through the day, then the chances are that retirement may be on your mind more than ever before—and for a good reason!

8. Your work schedule no longer syncs with your personal schedule.

Work-life balance is an essential topic for anyone, but it’s vital for those getting close to retirement. 

Maybe you’re used to having time off on the weekends and holidays but now have to work during those times. If so, there’s a good chance that your personal schedule doesn’t sync with your work schedule anymore. 

It can be frustrating and exhausting if you’re trying to maintain relationships with family and friends who feel like a bigger priority now.

If this has happened in your life recently, consider how much longer it will be before retirement becomes an option.

9. You know it’s time to leave, but don’t feel like you can afford to right now.

Review your financial situation and discuss your options with your spouse or partner. If you don’t have any money set aside for retirement, you should find a financial advisor and make a financial plan that allows you to retire sooner rather than later.

Start putting money into your retirement account as soon as possible, even if it’s just $10 or $20 per paycheck. It may not seem like much at first, but over time the money will add up and help you reach your goals.

10. You take it personally when someone criticizes your work.

When someone on the job criticizes something you’ve done or says something negative about your work, you react more emotionally than usual. 

Criticism goes with the territory, and you once handled it calmly, but now it’s getting to you.

Perhaps it’s because someone a decade younger than you is patronizing or a know-it-all. Or maybe the criticism is deserved, but you’re just exhausted by it all. 

If your work is suffering because you’ve stopped caring as much, then retiring before it significantly impacts your performance is a good idea. 

11. You don’t want to learn any new job skills or technologies. 

You’ve lost the desire to improve your skill set or learn new technology as they don’t seem relevant to what you want to do in retirement. 

The longer you remain at a job, the less likely you are to want to learn something new. You’ve seen it all and been there before.

You long to travel, take up some hobbies, and spend more time with your family. Your priorities have changed.

12. It takes everything to get yourself out of bed on Monday mornings.

You don’t want to go to work. You feel tired and lethargic, and the thought of getting out of bed on Monday mornings makes you want to throw up. It feels like your job is sucking all the energy out of your life.

And while it may be true that some aspects of your job are draining—perhaps you’re working long hours or dealing with unreasonable friends—it’s important not to blame everything on your job or employer. 

It could be that you’re just tired of the grind and ready to move on.

13. You feel irrelevant because most people in your company are younger than you.

You’ve been around long enough to know that age doesn’t matter when it comes to being a valuable team member; however, working with younger people can be challenging. 

It seems every new person that joins is younger than the last one that left, making you feel uncomfortable about your age difference with them.

You may have plenty to contribute and years of experience under your belt, but you’ve begun to feel like a stranger in a strange land. You just don’t approach things the way your younger co-workers do. 

Once you decide to retire, you’ll have plenty to do to prepare. Talk to your doctor and financial advisor to ensure your health and finances are in order. 

Determine how you want to spend your retirement years and what you’ll do with your time, so your mental health doesn’t suffer.  Even in retirement, your life can be full, happy, meaningful, and fun. In fact, it may be the best time of your life.

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Sex is always better when there is an emotional connection that creates that electricity between you and your partner. However, in long-term relationships, it might get a bit challenging to maintain that intimate connection on the same level once the honeymoon phase is over.

This doesn’t necessarily mean your feelings for each other have weakened; you just might find yourselves stuck in a rut, even in terms of your intimate relationship. Fortunately, there are multiple ways to keep the spark alive.

In the article below, you will find several intimate sex positions that will make you and your partner feel the love again. They allow for more eye contact and touch while also creating a sense of safety, trust, and deeper emotional connection – they include missionary, spooning, the face-off, forward-facing cowgirl, and the lotus position. Continue reading and choose something to try out tonight and improve your love connection.

Missionary

The missionary position is the most intimate sex position to use when you want to connect with your partner emotionally. It allows you to face each other and keep eye contact while being able to touch each other with your hands or arms. Plus, it’s an easy position to transition into other positions, like the face-off position.

Have your partner position themselves on top of you, making sure they keep their weight off you. If you want to add some spice to the missionary position, then move your legs to an angle, allowing them to rest on your partner’s shoulders.

Spooning

The spooning position is another intimate sex position that allows for more skin-to-skin contact and comfort, as well as emotional bonding. It puts you both in an embrace and allows you to feel each other’s body heat and heartbeats.

The closeness and intimacy of this position will make it easier to connect with one another and talk about things that turn the two of you on. You can even try whispering naughty things in your partner’s ear if you want to take it to the next level. Furthermore, the spoon is one of the best positions for using sex toys. So, if you’re interested in steaming your sex life even more, shop adult toys together with your partner and try them out while spooning.

Face-Off

This intimate sex position is excellent for connecting with your partner because it forces you both to look directly at each other during intercourse. It also makes it easier for you to kiss and touch each other during sex, which is a huge part of emotional connection. To make it feel even more intimate, try touching each other’s faces during sex or kissing each other on the lips instead of on the neck or chest.

Forward-Facing Cowgirl Position

This intimate sex position is perfect if you want to feel even more connected to your partner in bed. It allows you to be in control, show off your sexy moves, and see how your partner is reacting to what you’re doing, which is a huge part of the attraction. The cowgirl position also allows for eye contact and lets you both kiss each other while having sex, which will help strengthen your emotional bond.

You can also vary this position by leaning back or sitting up straight instead of being bent over, which will change how it feels. To make it even more intimate, try kissing each other during sex or whispering naughty things in their ear.

Lotus

The lotus position is great for couples who want to feel connected emotionally during intercourse and love a challenge. It might take a few tries before you get the hang of it, but once you do, it will be worth it because you’ll feel extremely close to one another during sex, growing a heightened sense of trust between the two.

The lotus position is a modified version of the missionary position that allows for even more intimacy. It also allows you to keep your legs together and close to your partner’s body, making it easier to connect with them and make eye contact. This position is also great if you want to try something different from the missionary position. If it’s too difficult for you to hold yourself up, try using pillows under your thighs instead of letting everything hang down.

Final Thoughts

Emotional connection is one of the most important parts of a relationship, and it can keep you close even during tough times. However, in long-term relationships, you might find it hard to create that same emotional connection you did when you first got together.

Thankfully, there are multiple ways to bring intimacy back into your sex life and create a deeper sense of connection between the two of you. These intimate sex positions are perfect for couples who want to reconnect emotionally while also being able to get physical. Choose the one that got you most curious about, and have fun tonight!

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In our bullying culture, it’s crucial that we understand the serious and long-lasting repercussions that emotional abuse exacts on the brain.

The unfortunate reason that I became knowledgeable about this subject is because my son was emotionally abused by two teachers. Their abuse didn’t leave tell-tale marks on his body, but it did significant harm to his brain, manifesting in depression, panic attacks, and anxiety.

We live in a society that believes, despite extensive research, that physical and sexual abuse are worse than emotional abuse. We treat harm to the body seriously while minimizing, dismissing, and even denying the harm done to the brain by emotional abuse. Some even believe this kind of abuse is an effective remedy for psychological issues or substance abuse.

Only recently has emotional abuse resulted in new laws in the U.S. to reflect its harmful effects. Still, many forms of emotional abuse are not seen as crimes, but as red flags of other forms of criminal abuse — namely those that target the body.

Emotional abuse isn’t a moment in which the aggressor loses his or her temper and apologizes afterward. It’s not when a family member, teacher, or coach yells at a young person and then asks forgiveness and explains why they were stressed out. Those are human mistakes. Emotional abuse is intentional and destructive.

Emotional abuse is inflicting the weapons of put downs, belittling, ignoring, humiliating, shaming, dismissing, berating, swearing, yelling, taunting, threatening, blocking opportunities, spreading rumours, sharing personal information without consent, smearing their reputation, excluding from social events, ostracizing someone and so on.

Choose to become informed and empowered to oust emotional abuse from our lives. Here are four elements to understand in order to protect ourselves and others.

1. Understand how, like a concussion, the harm to the brain from emotional abuse isn’t visible to the naked eye.

Until quite recently, if someone got a concussion while playing a sport, the coach or parent would clap them on the back and tell them to get back in the game. It wasn’t understood that the brain had sustained a traumatic injury and that returning to play is the last thing you should do. Research has now established that concussions can lead to brain degeneration and even death. Likewise, we now know emotional abuse is extremely harmful.

From 1995 to 1997, extensive research conducted by two physicians showed that abuse in childhood was correlated with compromised mental health and chronic disease in mid-life. Emotional abuse and neglect were recorded as equal to sexual and physical abuse in terms of the harm inflicted.

For the last 20 years, extensive research has confirmed the significant harm to the brain from all forms of abuse, including emotional abuse. It’s well-documented that emotional abuse harms the body and brain. It’s invisible, but, like a concussion, damage occurs inside the skull.

2. Realize that emotional abuse may cause the brain to activate the sympathetic nervous system, over and over again.

The sympathetic nervous system is the body’s natural response to a threat. It activates our fight, flight, freeze response. The brain pours resources into protecting us from a predator that it assumes we’ll need to fight, run away from, or stay completely still so it doesn’t see us. Before all else, our brain’s job is to keep us alive.

The brain recognizes that fight, flight, and freeze aren’t helpful when being emotionally abused. Worse, the brain may develop a sense that this kind of abuse is going to happen everywhere so it becomes hypervigilant and the whole awful cycle can lead to chronic stress. It’s very unhealthy for our brains and bodies to be in this state.

3. Call attention to how emotional abuse is especially harmful to young people in their teens and twenties.

We tend to be more protective of young children and make the mistake of believing teens and 20-somethings are adults and can better cope with emotional stress. In actual fact, due to intensive brain development, this age group is at high risk for suffering from emotional abuse. Young people through their young adult years are vulnerable to attacks that target their social standing or their status among peers. Their ongoing brain development (up until the age of 25) makes them extremely sensitive to humiliation. Yet, because of today’s rampant bullying and abuse, mental illness and suicide are rising sharply in youth populations. We can do better.

4. Adopt evidence-based remedies for emotionally abused brains.

Research is clear that the best strategies for resistance and recovery from emotional abuse include:

• Performing aerobic exercise (what’s good for your heart is good for your brain)
• Practicing mindfulness (use an activity like coloring or knitting if you’re too traumatized to focus)
• Exiting the cage of learned helplessness (you’re liberated, but it’s up to you to make sure your brain understands this fundamental truth)
• Working with a mental health professional to unpack the abuse and develop a plan to heal
• Rebelling against an internalized aggressor who leads you to identify with the person(s) who emotionally abused you (refuse to repeat the harmful behavior of targeting yourself or targeting others)

The bottom line is that emotional abuse is as harmful as physical and sexual abuse. Because its effect on the brain is invisible to the naked eye, we make the terrible mistake of ignoring it. The more informed we are about its harmful effects, the better equipped we are to become proactive about our own and our children’s recovery.

Author Bio

Jennifer Fraser, best-selling author and award-winning educator, has a PhD in Comparative Literature. Her online courses and workshops provide dynamic lessons in the impact neuroscience has on personal development and culture change. Her previous book, Teaching Bullies: Zero Tolerance on the Court or in the Classroom (Motion Press, Aug. 8, 2015), explores what happens when the bully is a teacher or coach. Her new book, The Bullied Brain: Heal Your Scars and Restore Your Health (Prometheus Books, April 1, 2022), delves into how bullying affects the brain and how the brain can heal. Learn more at bulliedbrain.com.

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A most highly adored book, The Mastery of Love was written by Toltecs teacher Don Miguel Ruiz in 1997. Since its genesis, it has earned numerous impressive accolades. With over 16 million copies sold worldwide, it’s been translated into an astonishing 46 languages, and it sustained a place on the New York Times Best Seller list for almost a decade.

With so many prestigious achievements, one’s mind can’t help but be gripped with curiosity. What makes this piece of work so special? What treasures must the contents of this book contain? Ultimately, the Mastery of Love is all about cultivating an authentic and loving relationship with the self. When an individual’s relationship with themselves is healthy and balanced, they’re better able to make positive changes in other areas of life.

A great takeaway from many who’ve read Mastery of Love includes the transformational overhaul of one’s automatic emotional responses. There’s much to unearth about our emotional responses, and how to go about transmuting them, from this text. The Toltecs, and Don Miguel Ruiz more specifically, gifted our world with this knowledge. Their hope being that we learn to take control of our reality and create lives we enjoy living.

Don Miguel Ruiz And The Toltecs

Creator of The Mastery of Love is Mexican author Don Miguel Ruiz. A practicing surgeon until he faced a near death experience, Ruiz shifted his life’s work towards his greater calling; becoming a Toltec spiritual teacher. The Nahuatl name “Toltec” translates to “artisans.” Scientists and artists, Toltecs have been known for thousands of years as “men and women of knowledge.”

Although Don Miguel Ruiz is one of the better-known modern Toltec teachers, their spiritual work has reverberated throughout the world since the ancient Mesoamerican people gathered near Teotihuacan to carve out and enrich their teachings. “Artists of the spirit,” Toltecs continue to thrive today as teachers of potent truth and love-based understandings.

The rudiments of their work inspired Ruiz to write The Mastery of Love, where readers learn about truth, love, and forgiveness. These three qualities allow an individual to transmute their automatic emotional responses more easily.

Truth, Forgiveness, And Unconditional Love

Fundamentally, Toltecs believe that within each human being lives a potential “master.” This master is the embodiment of which traits we practice the most in life. Either we are loving, free, giving, and authentic. Or, we train our master to be fearful, greedy, jealous, and self-rejecting. The master we practice the most reigns supreme over the direction and disposition of our lives.

To consciously choose the master that we desire to rule, we have to unlearn many things about ourselves. Aspects or statements we were raised and conditioned to believe. This includes unworthiness, fear of rejection, and the lack of self-acceptance. Put simply, we become the creators of our reality if we can uproot the unhealthy “weeds” in our minds that we’ve continuously watered.

These weeds grow when we experience injustices. Throughout childhood and adolescence, injustices from our parents, friends, and society slowly take away our ability to forgive. This lack of forgiveness strengthens our judgments of self and others, and bolsters our fearful and critical side. As we age, we also learn to seek love and validation from outside of ourselves. The Toltecs remind us that true love can only come from within. “Love creates the master,” says Ruiz.

Through a practice of harnessing unconditional love for the self and learning how to forgive others of injustices they had us endure, we’re able to see the truth of life. This truth shows us the way to the seat of our awareness.

When we are aware, we are conscious of our choices, actions, reactions, and emotions. While this is no easy feat, it is our life’s task to speak, think, and react with control and honesty. If someone/something pains us and we automatically react with hatred or volley a dose of pain right back, we lose. We sink further into fear, separation, and back into the seat of the master that we don’t want to be.

Practicing Who We Are Instead Of Who We Are Not

If we’re conscious of our emotional reactions to anything and anyone, we then have choices. Do we choose to react with rejection, fear, or hurtful words and actions? Or do we want to respond with love, forgiveness, compassion, and understanding? Life is but a continuous set of choices that we have to make. The Toltec teachings are all about practicing the act of choice. Practicing who we truly are at our core instead of who we are not.

We are beings of love. Each of us can transmute our automatic emotional responses by stepping into love and away from fear, rejection, and unworthiness. To consciously invoke this transmutation, Ruiz says we must open our emotional wounds, using truth as the scalpel. When lies told by others or lies we’ve told ourselves are discharged from our wounds, we develop greater capacity to be who we truly are.

Transmuting Your Automatic Emotional Responses

No matter how difficult a choice can be to make consciously, no matter how easy it is to collapse back into our default mode, we must learn to return to our awareness time and time again. We must learn to make all of our choices from a place of unconditional love, truth, and forgiveness.

Start out with a beginner’s mind. Find moments of contemplation by way of meditation, journaling, and having conversations with those you trust. Note circumstances in the recent past where you responded from the seat of the loving master. Conversely, admit in what ways you responded with fear, pain, or anger. During this process, be sure to show yourself grace. The human experience is highly complex and perfection is impossible.

The more honest we are, the more examples we find of times we conducted ourselves the way we intended to. And the ways we did not intend to where we were not living from our heart. Over time, our patterns, automatic programming, and default responses emerge. When we reach this pattern recognition stage, we are then routed back to the conscious choices we want to make.

Before making choices, we can ask ourselves, “do I want to embolden my loving, truthful, forgiving master? Or do I want to activate the fearful, hurtful, rejecting master?” The choice is always up to us.

Toltecs firmly believe that we can be the creator of our lives. We can take the seat of the master within each of us that simply loves. To transmute your emotional responses, breathe life into the master that waits patiently for your permission to exist.

“You don’t need to justify your love, you don’t need to explain your love, you just need to practice your love. Practice creates the master.” ― Don Miguel Ruiz

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Ever gone from zero to furious in a second — just because of something someone else said or did?

Then you probably have a fair idea of what your anger triggers are.

But what about other emotions?

One person who’s normally pretty confident might feel suddenly insecure when triggered by something he hears, sees, or even smells.

Another who’s normally chill even in the most stressful work environment suddenly has a full-on panic attack after getting triggered by something no one else would have suspected.

What’s at work, here? What are emotional triggers, and how do we get them?

And what we can do about them once we learn what they are?

What Is an Emotional Trigger?

When you feel deprived of something you need (or feel a strong need for), or you feel as though that something is out of reach, that need becomes an emotional trigger.

The stronger the need, the stronger the trigger.

How exactly you get triggered can vary, but the following emotional trigger words can give you an idea:

• Precious / Worthless
• Beautiful / Ugly
• Strong / Weak
• Intelligent, Brilliant, Genius / Stupid, Idiot, Slow
• Brave, Heroic, Courageous / Cowardly
• Authentic, Real / Poser, Fake, Phony
• Deserving / Undeserving, Grasping, Freeloading
• Independent / Needy, Clingy
• Important, Essential / Unimportant, Disposable
• Extraordinary, Unforgettable / Basic, Ordinary, Forgettable

The emotional triggers list that follows addresses some of our most potent fears, which have a lot to do with our most deeply-felt needs.

Your triggers will also likely be related to your personal values and your strongest interests.

A Brief Caveat for the Emotionally Triggered

Even if you recognize your own triggers and are working on minimizing their effect on you, you shouldn’t call someone out for being triggered or appear to downplay what they’re going through.

Because unless you can look into their deepest self, you don’t know what they’re going through – even if you share one of the same emotional triggers.

So, it’s best to never use expressions like, “Oh, are you triggered?” or “You’re acting like you’ve just been triggered by something,” unless you’re close to the person and are asking with love and concern.

When someone is feeling emotionally triggered, the last thing they need is for someone to call attention to it or talk down to them because of their obvious agitation or discomfort.

Feeling emotionally triggered doesn’t make you oversensitive or overly dramatic.

It’s not something you can just switch off (who wouldn’t, if they could?), and it doesn’t make you weak.

It means you – like every other human – are a work in progress.

Your self-knowledge isn’t perfect, and often you’re as surprised as anyone by the degree to which something triggers you.

And you’re in good company.

How to Deal with Emotional Triggers

Some of these emotional triggers examples will resonate more than others.

None of them are pleasant to experience, but some will evoke a more powerful response in you.

See if you can identify them as you go down the list.

Not Being Accepted

If you never felt accepted by the most important people in your life, or if you can’t accept yourself, you’ll feel triggered more strongly by those who judge or reject you.

Not Being Respected

If you don’t treat yourself and others with respect, you’ll feel it more when others disrespect you or when they don’t show you as much respect (or deference) as you want.

Not Being Liked

Not being liked by someone else is more likely to hurt when we dislike ourselves (secretly or otherwise) or believe ourselves to be unlikable.

Being Misunderstood

If someone close to you growing up made you feel misunderstood or not worth the trouble of understanding, it triggers you more when others jump to uncharitable conclusions about you.

Not Feeling Needed

If this is a trigger, the word “useless” is particularly painful for you, because you want to feel needed and appreciated for the good you can contribute.

Not Feeling Valued

If the people who were supposed to see and appreciate your value made you feel worthless or of little value, you’ll probably be triggered whenever anyone else does.

Feeling Out of Control

The feeling of control over your life and environment is a fragile thing and easily disrupted, and you feel it more when a sense of control makes you feel safe, needed, or valued.

Being Unjustly Treated

If you had to fight for justice at a young age or have suffered in defense of justice, you probably feel triggered whenever someone treats you or someone else unjustly.

Not Getting Attention

If you felt invisible during your childhood and craved more attention, feeling ignored, overlooked, or disregarded is probably a trigger for you.

Restricted Personal Freedom

If you had to fight to liberate yourself from the rigid or controlling behavior of an authority figure, you might feel triggered whenever someone threatens to curtail your freedom.

Made to Feel Wrong

If you’ve been manipulated by someone into thinking you’re wrong all the time, you’re likely to bristle whenever anyone else tries the same tack with you.

Made to Feel Ashamed of Who or What You Are

If you were shamed and made to feel unworthy of love because you felt defective or broken, you might feel triggered when others call you out for being a sinner, as though in their eyes, your sins make you less worthy of love or kindness.

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Feeling Uncomfortable

If you’ve had to endure lingering and intense discomfort and felt powerless to do anything about it, you might feel triggered by anything that threatens your current comfort level.

Too Much Disorder

If you look around you and see clutter, you may feel cluttered on the inside, which can be overwhelming and distressing — especially if order makes you feel safer or more in control.

Too Little Money

If your experience of poverty lingers in your memory as a nightmare you can never quite escape, you probably feel triggered whenever anything threatens to plunge you back into it.

Feeling Unsafe

A traumatic experience in childhood might leave you feeling as though you’re never really safe.

Everything that threatens the degree of safety you have will likely trigger you.

Feeling Unloved

If you felt as a child as though you didn’t matter, you probably did your best to need as little as possible from others, hoping they would love you more if you needed less.

Feeling Unattractive

If you felt at a young age that people’s love for you depended on your attractiveness, you probably put more work into looking good.

Disparaging remarks about your looks hurt more because they make you feel less lovable.

Feeling Stupid

If you felt that people’s love for you or their sense of your value depended on your intelligence (or their perception of it), it’s probably important to you that others see you as intelligent. Anyone who makes you feel stupid is a threat.

Feeling like a Failure

If you were taught at a young age that mistakes and failures might as well be mortal sins — separating you from love and happiness — you feel triggered every time you fail at something.

Feeling Betrayed or Abandoned

If you’ve counted on someone to defend you or have your back only to feel betrayed and unloved when they abandoned you, you probably feel triggered whenever anyone else does the same.

Feeling Vilified or Hated

If you have a strong need for the approval and acceptance of others, it hurts more when they turn on you and vilify you, and you’re likely to feel triggered.

Feeling Brushed Off

When someone brushes you off or dismisses you as someone unworthy of their time or attention — as if you and your concerns don’t matter — it hurts more when you feel a need for this person’s acceptance or approval.

Did you find your emotional triggers?

Now that you’re more familiar with emotional triggers, you probably have a sense of what yours are and how they developed in you.

And once you know this, you can address those needs and their underlying traumas, so that what triggers you now will lose its power over you.

It’s also possible that someone in your life is using your triggers to manipulate you, and this is not only exhausting but detrimental to your own mental health.

Call this type of abuse for what it is and distance yourself as much as possible from these people.

The more honest you are about your needs, the more you can minimize the effect of their related triggers.

So, make a list of the triggers in the above list that make you think, “Yep, that’s me,” and write down the need you have that’s related to it – not so you can feel bad about needing things but so you’ll understand yourself a bit more.

As an added bonus, you’ll probably also end up with a better understanding of other people you know.

May your compassion and resilience influence everything you do today.

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Typically, there is a lot of information surrounding how we can improve our physical wellbeing, ignoring the importance of our mental health. While there have been strides in mental health awareness over the last few years, it is still somewhat of a taboo subject, which can cause many of us to simply suffer in silence rather than reach out and ask for help.

It is important for us all to know that there is help and support out here. Whether you have only recently experienced a dip in mental stability or have suffered from depression all your life, it can be overwhelming. How do you reach out? Who do you contact? Will medication help lift your mood? These are only a few questions you may ask yourself.

If you or a loved one are struggling with their emotional wellbeing and you’re unsure on how you could improve your mental health, the following article highlights a few ways to help you. Remember, though, that you need to consider your own behaviors and how you manage stress. For instance, certain types of therapy may not suit you, so look at all the options at your disposal.

1. Do Not Downplay Your Emotions

When we feel like our emotions are not valid, we have a tendency to downplay how we are truly feeling. This can cause great harm to our emotional wellbeing as we tend to try and ignore the catalyst of why we are feeling down and, over time, this can build up and have us feeling depressed and anxious.

Speak to trusted members of your family and friends who you think will sympathize and console you about how you are truly feeling. By doing this, you may feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders as it helps you feel as if your emotions are valid. They may also offer ways to help you counter these feelings, such as reasons why you may be feeling depressed and how you can overcome them.

Not sure how to start the conversation? Here’s how you can talk to your loved ones about your mental health.

2. Speak To A Healthcare Professional

After speaking with your loved ones, you may find that you need to speak with a healthcare professional. This is a great way to not only get a professional’s advice on how you are feeling, but they may also suggest coping mechanisms and how you can counter the negative emotions you are currently experiencing.

It is wise that you do not expect a healthcare professional to diagnose you or prescribe you with medication straight away. It may be that they wish to have a few sittings with you so that they can gain a full understanding of how you are feeling and provide you with the best help possible.

3. Consider Online Therapy

Therapy can work wonders for certain individuals as it allows them to tap into their emotions and discover coping mechanisms that allow them to help manage their feelings and emotional wellbeing. However, it is vital that you find the right therapy for you.

Speaking with your doctor could be the best way to find the right type of therapy for you. They can even suggest particular services that are better suited to your needs. However, there are also numerous online therapy courses that are ideal for those who may not be able to afford in-person therapy or who have a busy schedule. For instance, online therapy with Emote Life can be an effective way for you to gain emotional and psychological support over the internet. Online therapy with Emote Life is strictly confidential, and they only hire trained and professional therapists. They can help you manage feelings of helplessness and depression.

There are countless benefits of therapy. For example, you may benefit from:

• Recognizing triggers
• Realizing why you feel depressed
• Developing coping mechanisms
• Improved communication skills
• Learning how to make healthier choices (both mental and physical)
• Learning how to deal with distressing situations

4. Manage Stress

Learning how to manage your stress can help you live a more weightless and balanced life. However, it is not easy doing this, as stress can appear in the most odd and confusing ways and catch us off-guard. Coping mechanisms and learning how to defuse feelings of stress can be the best way to deal with this.

So, what are the common signs of a person being stressed? Typically, emotional signs of stress include:

• Depression
• Anxiety
• Feeling unmotivated and unfocused
• Memory problems
• Disturbed sleeping patterns (sleeping too little or too much)
• Issues with concentration

You can always try and counter feelings of stress by:

• Eating healthily
• Exercising
• Taking a break
• Practicing deep breathing exercises
• Relaxing your muscles
• Engaging in hobbies
• Speaking to a professional
• Not hiding your problems
• Writing down any of your issues

5. Take Care Of Your Physical Health

Your physical and mental health are very much linked to one another, and if you neglect one, you will end up neglecting the other. Therefore, you need to find the best ways to look after both of them so that you are living a healthy lifestyle that encompasses mental and physical wellbeing best practices. Something as simple as ensuring that you drink the right amount of water and exercising for 30 minutes every day can have a huge impact on your physical health which could, in turn, impact your mental well-being.

To look after your physical well-being, you should focus on eating a healthy diet, drinking plenty of water, avoiding dangerous substances such as drugs and alcohol, and trying to keep active. Exercise not only helps you remain fit and healthy (helping you maintain a healthy weight), but it also releases endorphins which can make you feel happier and much more energized.

Your emotional wellbeing is important, and you should never neglect it. If you are ever struggling, reach out to health professionals who can help provide you with the tools and coping mechanisms that could help you live a happier life. Learn how to put yourself first.

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