Can you imagine a life where you are completely honest with yourself about who you are? I am talking total transparency with oneself while feeling good about it no matter what you discover.

It is a question I shied away from for most of my life since it scared me and intimidated me.

Did I want to admit to myself that I use anger as a way to dominate people? No. Or that I used the silent treatment to punish those who didn’t get me what I want? Another no. Or that I tend to stay in toxic relationships to experience pain and subconsciously punish myself as a result of my childhood trauma? I let you guess. 

We don’t want to admit that we manipulate, control or self-sabotage ourselves. No one does because it doesn’t provide instant gratification, and it doesn’t tell us that we are amazing and we can be anything that we dream about. 

No. Self-awareness is a disservice to our ego because often, it’s about brutal truth and intimidating self-discoveries. And that’s where the opportunity lies for all of us. 

Why do we shy away from the truth?

There is a thin line between self-awareness and self-judgment. For many of us, guilt becomes a way of life. Whether as a result of childhood trauma, negative self-talk, or someone who constantly criticizes us, we struggle with self-judgment. Therefore acknowledging our shortcomings, manipulative or controlling behavior, or toxic traits becomes almost impossible to face. 

Let me make something clear. There is nothing wrong with admitting that you manipulate people or situations, that you procrastinate as a result of self-doubt, that you have toxic traits or that you take excessively long showers. 

Understand that any unwanted trait you possess is often a result of what happened to you, not what’s wrong with you. If you find yourself being toxic as I have, It doesn’t mean you are a bad person, it doesn’t make you less valuable, it doesn’t decrease your worth, it simply makes you aware.

Is the “truth” really true? 

To offer you a different perspective, let me use a statistical example. Based on the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence website, 1 in 15 children are exposed to intimate partner violence each year, and 90% of these children are eyewitnesses to this violence.

That’s 90% of children who have experienced trauma of some sort that impacts their healthy development, self-esteem, and overall mental health. 

Considering that these children never deal with their past, how do you think they will act like adults? The majority of them will take lots of unhealthy habits and beliefs into their adulthood. 

With this information in mind, let me ask you this: Do these experiences shape them or define them? 

They definitely shape them. They shape their behavior, attitude, and even their personality. But they don’t define them in terms of who they are in their core. And this is an important distinction I want you to consider. 

If who you are today is a result of your upbringing, how you grew up, and who impacted you the most, how can you feel guilty for what you have accumulated over the years? It’s not yours. It’s something that’s been given to you. That’s why I said that these experiences may shape you but don’t define you. Through self-awareness, you have an opportunity to see what you can transform and find your way back to yourself.

“The most important conversations you’ll ever have are the ones you’ll have with yourself.” — David Goggins

Finding the courage to wake up

I came to the conclusion that the majority of people don’t change because they have no idea what needs to change. Since becoming aware may be intimidating, we often opt out and live in denial while feeling exhausted from pretending to others and ourselves. 

So how do we overcome this fear of knowing ourselves and aim for a real, lasting transformation? Let’s break it down into three simple steps:

Once you start acknowledging the truth, you want to surround yourself with people who are on the same or similar mission of transformation as yourself.  It is for two reasons. First, you will cause a “me too” effect, where the person feels understood just by knowing they are not alone and also inspired to do the same. Second, you will experience the freedom of expression. 

Since facing our shadows triggers us, brings feelings of guilt or shame, or it simply doesn’t feel like a trip to Disneyland, it’s imperative to create a safe space. The more you practice sharing yourself with the right people, the easier it will become to master the skill of self-awareness. You’ll discover that those traits or behaviors you may be afraid to look at are the same traits and behaviors many of us deal with daily. 

Step #2 Opt-in for a judgment-free zone

I am sure that at this point, you understand how important it is to stay away from judgment when practicing self-awareness. 

Some of the most significant moments of transformation happened when I got fed up with my own bullshit and acknowledged the negative mindset I maintained. However, it wasn’t easy at the beginning. Since I was programmed to constantly judge myself, I tend to slip from awareness to self-judgment and spiral into one of my guilt-driven behaviors. Luckily, I was able to become aware of it. Talk about the silver lining. 

Your journey to self-awareness must be judgment-free. Guilt is overbearing, toxic, and discouraging, especially if it’s repeated over and over. What we are aiming for is love and kindness. Approaching ourselves from the place of understanding and compassion is not optional but necessary when it comes to facing our shadows. We can only grow if we are coming from a positive and uplifting place in our heads. 

Step #3 Using what we discover 

Once you find the courage to face traits and behaviors you wish to change and then acknowledge them with love and compassion, it’s time to accept them. Remember that there is nothing wrong with you. It’s only what happened to you that brought you to this place in life.  

Now that you are aware of how you behave, observe it and take it easy. Watch yourself in uncomfortable or pressured situations and notice your feelings, thoughts, and behavior. Become an observer

Once you become more mindful, you will be able to consciously choose different ways of behavior. And the more you do it, the more proud and confident you will feel in your ability to change. Awareness is a game-changer if you use it right. 

Conclusion 

Although self-awareness is about the positive and negative sides of our personality, I wanted to point out those areas we are afraid to look at. 

Authentic transformation can only happen if we are brave enough to acknowledge what we want to improve and change while, at the same time, approaching it from a healthy place of understanding and empathy.

Remember that there is nothing wrong with you by finding things you may not like about yourself. Self-awareness is a profound skill to master since it offers you powerful insights into the most important person of your life – yourself.

Source link

The post Why Do We Fear It and How to Master It appeared first on Heal your health yourself.

The ocean is a wild, enormous, mysterious, and untameable thing, and having a healthy respect for its power and even its dangers is understandable and sensible. But for some people, this respect can tip over into fear and become a problem.

A minor fear of the sea is usually not a problem and something that most people who worry about its dangers can overcome quite easily. However, for some, a fear of the ocean is a huge issue and can have a negative impact on their lives. If being afraid of the ocean means that your day-to-day life or vacation choices are being affected, you might have thalassophobia or a phobia of the ocean.

Phobias are tricky things to deal with, but there are a number of steps you can take to mitigate your ocean fear and make beach holidays and even a short cruise itinerary manageable. Read on, and discover some of the best ways to overcome your thalassophobia.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) can help overcome phobias by helping you alter negative thoughts and damaging behaviors to make them healthier and more positive. CBT is not just ‘the power of positive thinking,’ but rather has an impact on the neural pathways of people suffering from phobic disorders, helping to overcome fears like thalassaphobia long-term.

Exposure Therapy

Another option when it comes to treating phobias is to face them head-on and confront their power over you, often referred to as exposure therapy. Almost everyone who has phobias makes an effort to avoid their fears, which can actually worsen the disorder as the object of the phobia becomes greater and more concerning in the imagination than in real life. Exposure therapy forces you to expose yourself to your fears, gently and gradually, in order to help you overcome them. With a fear of the ocean, this might involve watching videos of the sea in the company of a therapist, moving gradually forward, and eventually facing the ocean in real life.

Anti-Anxiety Medication

While medication is not necessary in most cases of thalassophobia and does not constitute a ‘cure’ as such, anti-anxiety medication can be helpful in certain cases. If you find yourself in a situation where avoiding the sea is not an option and therapy has not had time to help, medication can deal with the symptoms of your phobia and help you relax.

Relaxation Strategies

Relaxation strategies can also be useful in dealing with phobias. If you find yourself experiencing symptoms of anxiety when confronted by the ocean, try using strategies that can relax your mind and body to deal with them. Deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and positive visualization can all be helpful in managing your fears.

*collaborative post

Source link

The post 4 Tips To Overcome Thalassophobia (Ocean Fear) appeared first on Heal your health yourself.

If you spent time studying greatness and the leaders who went before us and created success, you’d see a group of individuals that came to understand the power of a strong mindset.  The word “mindset” is described as “a mental attitude or inclination” by Merriam-Webster. It’s one of the leading indicators of creating success, accomplishing goals, and living a fulfilled life.

If you can’t visualize your goals, you’ll have a difficult time taking action. If your mindset is not one of “this is already done, I just need to put in the work to get there.” If you don’t have that mindset, you’ll always wait for the other shoe to drop every time you experience success in life.

Having a relentless mindset is more than a meme on Facebook or a cute Instagram quote picture. It’s a religion. It’s a way of life that leads to healthy habits you implement every day as you take action despite unexpected circumstances and moments when giving up feels easier.

Everywhere you look, there’s no shortage of people that are searching for ways to live a happier life, have better relationships, lose weight, create more financial freedom, and improve their lives. What’s missing is understanding the importance of their mindset and doing to work to become stronger mentally. A relentless mindset is one of the key ingredients in creating sustainable change. 

Today’s access to information gives us a vivid picture of how your mindset can help you accomplish goals while putting in the work to help you become the best versions of yourself. Create these relentless success-focused mindsets to beat fear and live out success. 

“No matter what, people grow. If you chose not to grow, you’re staying in a small box with a small mindset. People who win go outside of that box. It’s very simple when you look at it.” – Kevin Hart

Invest resources into knowing yourself better than you know anything

The journey to success starts with self-awareness. Learning and knowing yourself is a crucial ingredient for creating personal growth. If you don’t understand what makes you move or not move, you won’t know whether to push, rest, or move on. You listen to your limiting beliefs when you can’t distinguish the difference. You end up thinking they’re the truth because you don’t know enough about yourself to understand this is the time to be real with yourself. 

Without finely tuned self-awareness, you won’t know what success path to follow that leads to accomplishing your goals. A lack of self-awareness means you won’t see the tripwires to avoid and what would help you overcome unexpected challenges. Take as much time as it takes to learn more about yourself and develop a better appreciation of what makes you unique. Invest resources into mental health professionals, hire coaches, watch videos, read books, listen to podcasts, read articles, and become a Ph.D. level in knowing who you are. 

You are your most extraordinary life project to accomplish. Take your self-awareness journey seriously and learn more about yourself every day.

Make consistency in taking action your only choice

Creating relentless mindsets takes consistent action and a daily commitment to healthy habits in every area of your life. However, consistency has to be long term and relentlessly pursued. Success can’t be something you do while it feels good — it has to be a lifestyle. 

If you want to beat fear and imposter syndrome, being consistent should be the only option you’ll give yourself even if life gets hard. You decide to wake up and commit to physical movement. You make the understanding of energy-based healthy nutrition choices a priority. You have a plan for your days, weeks, and months based on accomplishing your goals in a specific amount of time. You stay away from energy-drainers that you know will sabotage your journey to consistency. 

You relentlessly take actions day in, day out, and make it your mindset and lifestyle instead of viewing it as things you’re trying to change in your life. You become and stay relentless in the commitment to excellence. 

Love yourself and mean it

You may think you understand self-care, but consuming content on the topic and implementing self-love principles are two different mindsets. Taking care of yourself gives you the mental bandwidth and energy to create a relentless success-hungry routine. Treat your relationship with yourself as the most valuable relationship in your life. 

The pursuit of creating success should be you taking care of yourself first and foremost and giving yourself what you need to feel good. Success happens when you show up powerful through consistent self-care routines that take care of your mind, body, and spirit. You can’t always be on. 

Never stop doing what makes you feel good about yourself, your goals, and what you can accomplish. Creating a relentless mindset comes from a place of putting yourself first and then thinking about helping others. 

“I think anything is possible if you have the mindset and the will and desire to do it and put the time in.” – Roger Clemens

Become a 1% success-seeker

Creating success means you level up in every area of your life in more than words. You don’t spend time posting on social media about what you’re going to do — you make big moves and let your action do the talking. You shift what you’ll accept. 

A success-based mindset means you set the boundaries with everyone and don’t let people or situations cross those boundaries. You keep a circle of high-level, achieving leaders that crave growth. You have regular self-performance reviews. You create healthy habits to make sure you’re on track. You have accountability. 

1% success happens when you work in silence and let your results tell the world where you’re going in life. The success you seek is born in the mindset you’re building every day with each decision. Make your journey to success the most remarkable project and focus in your life. Be relentless in becoming your best you.

Source link

The post How to Crush Fear, Beat Imposter Syndrome, and Create a Fulfilled Life appeared first on Heal your health yourself.