It’s the little things that matter.

A small thing like a hug or a kind text message can re-energize you and turn a bad day around.

A small action like taking one small or tiny step forward towards your dream every morning is what matters the most to actually reach your goal and not get stuck in daydreams about some kind of future success.

And a small moment like an ice cream while looking out over the ocean or watching a sunset with a friend.

These small things matter. More than we sometimes think. And quite often more than the big things in life. For our happiness, for our success and for a life well lived.

So in this post I’d like to share the 85 of the best quotes about enjoying the little things.

And if you want even more timeless inspiration then check out this post with quotes that hit hard and this one filled with one day at a time quotes.

Inspirational It’s The Little Things Quotes

“I think it’s important to find the little things in everyday life that make you happy.”
Paula Cole

“Sometimes the most happy people in life are the ones with nothing. We can’t lose sight of the little things in life that should make us the happiest.”
Ryan Cabrera

“The small things of life were often so much bigger than the great things . . . the trivial pleasure like cooking, one’s home, little poems especially sad ones, solitary walks, funny things seen and overheard.”
Barbara Pym

“No step forward is too small. Just be sure it’s taking you to the right dream, then take more of those tiny steps.”
Israelmore Ayivor

“You need to let the little things that would ordinarily bore you suddenly thrill you.”
Andy Warhol

“Success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out.”
Robert Collier

“It’s no big thing, but you make big things out of little things sometimes.”
Robert Duvall

“Just small things are going to hopefully lead to a bigger surplus in the end. Obviously, you might not see it every single game, every single detail, but those small things and those small details add up so much, and that’s what creates winning.”
John Collins

“When you go through something, you learn to appreciate little things – the birds, trees, flowers.”
Grizz Chapman.

“Most people seem to want tremendous improvement, instantly. But you’ll probably find it’s the little things you do that eventually add up to big results.”
Joel Weldon

“You’ve got to think about big things while you’re doing small things, so that all the small things go in the right direction.”
Alvin Toffler

“We must not, in trying to think about how we can make a big difference, ignore the small daily differences we can make which, over time, add up to big differences that we often cannot foresee.”
Marian Wright Edelman

“Little things seem like nothing, but they give peace, like those meadow flowers which individually seem odorless but all together perfume the air.”
Georges Bernanos

“Sometimes when I consider what tremendous consequences come from little things. I am tempted to think there are no little things.”
Bruce Barton

“While getting lost in all those little things that seem so important, don’t forget the little things that matter.”
Virginia Alison

“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.”
Robert Brault

Uplifting Enjoy The Little Things Quotes

“I try to find a reason to laugh each day. Somehow, if you can incorporate laughter into your day, every day, it really helps. It’s the little things in life that make me happy.”
Faith Hill

“Learn to appreciate small quiet moments, the ocean, a walk on the beach, time alone, your health, your strength, your smile, your life.”
Germany Kent

“It’s a tough life, and it’s the little things that get us through the day.”
Jeffery Deaver

“It’s the little details that are vital. Little things make big things happen.”
John Wooden

“The so called little things are not a small part of a happy life. They mean a lot even if they may not always look important.”
Unknown

“Whoever wants to reach a distant goal must take small steps.”
Saul Bellow

“Without water drops, there can be no oceans; without steps, there can be no stairs; without little things, there can be no big things!”
Mehmet Murat

“Never underestimate the significance of the little things done out of a large heart of love.”
Elizabeth George

“Most of the critical things in life, which become the starting points of human destiny, are little things.”
R. Smith

“Sometimes the little opportunities that fly at us each day can have the biggest impact.”
Danny Wallace

“Perfect happiness is a beautiful sunset, the giggle of a grandchild, the first snowfall. It’s the little things that make happy moments, not the grand events. Joy comes in sips, not gulps.”
Sharon Draper

“If you take care of the small things, the big things take care of themselves. You can gain more control over your life by paying closer attention to the little things.”
Emily Dickinson

“Blessed are they who see beautiful things in humble places where other people see nothing.”
Camille Pissarro

“I am someone who always gets up again, even if there are setbacks. I have a survivor instinct. I’m not sure where it comes from, but probably from all the little things that make you into who you are.”
Heidi Klum

“Life is made up of little things. It is very rarely that an occasion is offered for doing a great deal at once. True greatness consists in being great in the little things.”
Charles Simmons

“It’s the little things in life that – all summed together – become bigger and more important than the big things and events.”
Unknown

“If I love you, I show you I love you every day. Little things, big things.”
Dwayne Johnson

“Courtesies of a small and trivial character are the ones which strike deepest in the grateful and appreciating heart.”
Henry Clay

“Find magic in the little things, and the big things you always expected will start to show up.”
Isa Zapata

“And these little things may not seem like much but after a while they take you off on a direction where you may be a long way off from what other people have been thinking about.”
Roger Penrose

“I still get wildly enthusiastic about little things… I play with leaves. I skip down the street and run against the wind.”
Leo Buscaglia

Wise It’s The Little Things in Life Quotes

“The happiness of most people is not ruined by great catastrophes or fatal errors, but by the repetition of slowly destructive little things.”
Ernest Dimnet

“Never overlook the littlest things that can mean pure happiness to someone else.”
Mischa Temaul

“We forget the little things, so it’s no wonder some of us screw up the big things.”
Neil Cavuto

“True greatness consists in being great in little things.”
Charles Simmons

“Focus on the small things life already has offered you, or else you may turn your boundless blessings to countless disappointments.”
Shihab Kazi

“It is the little bits of things that fret and worry us; we can dodge an elephant, but we can’t dodge a fly.”
Josh Billings

“Character may be manifested in the great moments, but it is made in the small ones.”
Phillips Brooks

“All those small actions you take stringed together can, in the end, make an immense contribution to you reaching your goal and dream.”
Unknown

“There’s no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.”
Scott Adams

“Listening better. Caring more. Being there. Its not big changes, but the little ones in our daily lives that make all the difference. With little ways to love more, big things happen.”
Yehuda Berg

“Only by being obsessed with little things do amazing things emerge.”
Andy Dunn

“Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things, in which smiles and kindness, and small obligations given habitually, are what preserve the heart and secure comfort.”
Sir Humphrey Davy

Motivating It’s The Little Things in Life Quotes

“The man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.”
Chinese Proverb

“Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together.”
Vincent Van Gogh

“No matter how small and unimportant what we are doing may seem, if we do it well, it may soon become the step that will lead us to better things.”
Channing Pollock

“The secret of success is to do common things uncommonly well.”
John D. Rockefeller

“The value of work, and of always learning something new, and what it takes to achieve excellence. I really believe in those things that you have to dedicate yourself and spend time, that excellence is elusive. It’s a little maddening, to try to have that level of discipline in your life, and I don’t succeed all the time. But I do try.”
Ben Affleck

“Small things have a way of overmastering the great. This small press can destroy a kingdom.”
Sonya Levien

“Be master of your petty annoyances and conserve your energies for the big, worthwhile things. It isn’t the mountain ahead that wears you out, it’s the grain of sand in your shoe.”
Robert Service

“The older I get, the more I’m conscious of ways very small things can make a change in the world. Tiny little things, but the world is made up of tiny matters, isn’t it?”
Sandra Cisneros

“It’s the little things you do day in and day out that count. That’s the way you teach your children.”
Amanda Pays

“It has long been an axiom of mine that the little things are infinitely the most important.”
Arthur Conan Doyle

It’s the little things citizens do. That’s what will make the difference. My little thing is planting trees.”
Wangari Maathai

“Live life like it’s the last breath you take for that breath is the whole essence of living, the little things in life are what connects us to all the big things we live for.”
Robert Frost

“Don’t be afraid to give your best to what seemingly are small jobs. Every time you conquer one it makes you that much stronger. If you do the little jobs well, the big ones tend to take care of themselves.”
Dale Carnegie

Short It’s The Little Things in Life Quotes

“Sometimes the little things in life mean the most.”
Ellen Hopkins

“The little things in life are the happiest.”
EunB

“Little strokes fell great oaks.”
Benjamin Franklin

“On grass, it can be the small things that decide a match.”
Caroline Wozniacki

“Little things console us because little things afflict us.”
Blaise Pascal

“Don’t disregard the little things in life. They are a big part of your time on this earth.”
Unknown

“Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies.”
Mother Teresa

“Step by step. I can’t think of any other way of accomplishing anything.”
Michael Jordan

“Little things can make such a big difference during recording.”
Matt Cameron

“Always remember that the future comes one day at a time.”
Dean Acheson

“Find gratitude in the little things and your well of gratitude will never run dry.”
Antonia Montoya

“True and sincere one always remembers how to make you happy by doing little things.”
Ghazala Muhammad Ali

“Even the largest avalanche is triggered by small things.”
Vernor Vinge

“Don’t lose sight of what truly matters because of small annoyances and troubles.”
Unknown

“Happiness is enjoying the little things in life.”
Tiny Buddha

“Nothing is particularly hard if you divide it into small jobs.”
Henry Ford

“Great things are done by a series of small things brought together.”
Vincent Van Gogh

“Men stumble over pebbles, never over mountains.”
H. Emilie Cady

“Almost everything comes from almost nothing.”
Henri Frederic

“I enjoy the small things.”
Michael Buble

“Enjoy the satisfaction that comes from doing little things well.”
H. Jackson Brown Jr

“Great acts are made up of small deeds.”
Lao Tzu

If you liked these quotes about enjoying the little things and it was just what you needed then spread the word and share them with a friend on social media or through an email.

Want even more motivation? Check out this post with inspiring quotes about keeping on pushing towards your dreams and this one on thankfulness.

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“Then followed that beautiful season… Summer… Filled was the air with a dreamy and magical light; and the landscape lay as if new created in all the freshness of childhood.”
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Summer is here in full bloom after what was, at least up here in Sweden, a long and cold winter and spring.

So this week I’d like to share 7 small and simple tips that you can use to create a happier summer – and rest of the year – for yourself.

1. Go slow.

You’ll be less stressed and you’ll enjoy all the smells, the sights and people in your summer even more.

So slow down a bit and use all your senses to tap into what is happening in this moment around you and inside of you.

2. Say yes to the new.

Go for something new. Expand your comfort zone in a small way. Or a bigger one.

Go somewhere you haven’t been before. Take up a new hobby. Read a book or try eating something or doing something that isn’t what the regular you would do.

Few things add happiness so simply as finding a new thing you enjoy or may even love does.

3. Just do nothing at all.

It is easy to fall into the trap of thinking that all time has to be booked up for some activity.

Humans are however not robots and so that often leads to more stress and to little of the recharging that could have helped you to keep doing quality work during the fall and winter being done.

So try doing nothing at all. Just go for a walk in the woods. Or sit by a lake or the ocean and take in your world.

Focus only on that with all your senses and let your mind and body relax and rejuvenate.

4. Be the summer you want to see.

Don’t wait for someone else to create the summer you want to have. Instead get the ball rolling yourself.

Take action and take the first small steps forward.

Arrange a party or a picnic. Set up a movie night when the summer rain is pouring outside. Take a walk or a run every warm morning to get your energy levels up.

5. Be kind in small ways.

One of the simplest ways to live a happier life is to focus on being kind.

It does rarely take much energy.

Just a simple compliment or lending a listening ear while someone vents can brighten that person’s day.

And it brings happiness to your life too as you see his or her face light up. And how you think about and behave towards others tends to spread to how you treat yourself too. More kindness towards others leads to more self-kindness.

6. Savor the summer moments right here instead of being lost in the future or past.

There will be moments this summer you won’t want to miss by being somewhere else in your head.

So decide that you will take the time and focus to savor the small moments like a melting ice-cream in the sun but also the bigger ones with the people closest to you.

7. Just accept how you feel instead of pushing it away.

Don’t fall into the trap of pushing how you deep down feel or think away with distractions or forced positive thinking.

Instead, if you have negative feelings or thoughts about something that have popped up again and again so far this year take some time for yourself or with someone close to you to think/talk about it.

Then later on, after you have accepted and processed how you truly feel and think sit down with a pen and paper.

Come up with one small step or a small plan that you can take action on to start moving yourself out the situation that is troubling you and into something better. And take action on that plan with just a first small step forward as soon as you can.

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Do you ever find yourself in that dreaded situation where you’re face-to-face with an acquaintance or stranger, and you’re forced to make some kind of conversation?

Whether or not you were expecting to be with this person, you’re now stuck in the moment trying to come up with small talk topics and struggling to know exactly what to say.

How was your weekend? What do you think about the weather? Do you have any plans for the summer?

The prospect of having these short conversations can lead to anxiety, as you try to straddle saying enough while not saying the wrong thing.

Let’s review some small talk topics you can bring up in these uncomfortable situations that will seem neither forced nor awkward.

What is small talk?

Small talk is the polite (and sometimes superficial) conversations you have during social interactions.

When you engage in small talk, you generally address unimportant and non-controversial subjects, and the conversation doesn’t often veer into more profound or deep topics.

These kinds of conversations happen between people who aren’t particularly close to each other — such as two guests at a dinner party or a coworker on the elevator.

With small talk topics, people are aiming to find points of genuine agreement with someone they don’t know well enough to delve into more substantive conversation.

While this idle chit chat doesn’t convey important ideas or engage your analytical mind, that doesn’t mean it’s not important. It serves a social function of bonding over information.

What are examples of small talk?

Let’s say you’ve been invited to a party by a friend (Sarah). You don’t know anyone except Sarah who introduces you to a new person named Jim. Here’s how to talk small talk when you meet someone new:

You: Hi Jim, it’s nice to meet you.

Jim: Good to meet you, too.

You: So, have you known Sarah a long time?

Jim: Yeah, we’ve worked together for a few years.

You: Oh yeah? Are you in marketing as well?

Jim: No, I’m in IT, but I coordinate with Sarah’s team a lot. How about you? What do you do?

You: I’m in marketing, too, for a sports radio station.

Jim: Oh cool. That sounds like fun. Did you watch the game last night?

You: Absolutely! It was a nail-biter.

As you see, small talk evolves from one piece of commonality — in this case, the relationship with Sarah. But sometimes the thread of small talk conversation can stall out once you reach a natural ending to the initial topic.

That’s why it’s so valuable to develop your skills and have small talk starters handy when you feel the conversation waining.

Why is small talk an important skill to have?

Research shows that small talk skills are necessary for building connections with other people.

If done correctly, making small talk with someone can lay the foundation for a potential relationship with this person.

It helps demonstrate your communication style, which can be an effective way to develop and extend your personal and professional networks.

Engaging in small talk also makes you likable. People are attracted to those who are confident enough to engage in comfortable conversation.

It is important to remember that small talk isn’t just a method of communication and a way of filling an awkward gap. It’s also a gesture of respect that most people appreciate.

How to Use Small Talk in Conversation

So, how do you make small talk interesting so that the conversation can evolve into a deeper connection. Let’s take a look at some topics and small talk questions you can keep in mind for social occasions.

You might write down some of these small talk tips and keep them in your purse or wallet so you can refer to them shortly before your next interaction with someone.

9 Good Small Talk Topics

Select some of these 9 small talk examples for your next conversation:

1. The Weather

Yes, talking about the weather seems dull, but it is a good neutral topic that everyone can relate to.

Even if the weather isn’t particularly noteworthy at the moment, it can still be a good topic of chit chat. Some things you can say are:

• It’s a nice day, don’t you think? I thought it would rain.
• Looks like you brought the beautiful weather with you.
• Can you believe how cold it is? I thought this was supposed to be spring!

You can also ask someone about the climate in their hometown.

• Is the weather here much different from where you grew up?
• What climate do you prefer? Why?
• If you could live anywhere based entirely on the weather, where would you live?

2. Sports

Some people know about sports than others, so there are some rules of thumb to consider before discussing sports.

You want to know your audience, so this topic may be best for people with whom you have crossed paths in the past. You can also preface the conversation with, “So, are you a sports fan?” or “Did you watch the game last night?”

Having an enthusiastic conversation about your favorite team can be fun, but don’t let it get heated if you and your conversation partner disagree about some aspect of your sports discussion.

If you find the conversation is taking a tense turn, make a quick topic change and find an area where you better connect.

3. Entertainment

Some entertainment subjects that are effective conversation starters and good small talk topics are:

• Movies
• TV shows
• Local restaurants
• Music
• Books

To get ready to discuss these topics, keep up with what is trending and popular in these topic categories. Refresh your memory about the latest book you’ve read and the most recent restaurant you’ve tried.

Ask the other person if he or she has seen any good movies or Netflix series lately or heard any new music that’s worth sharing.

Talk about your book if you think it will interest the other person, or ask if they have read it. This is a quick way to find some common ground.

4. Food

Food is one of the best small talk topics because everyone can relate to it.

Ask people which restaurants in the area they like to frequent and the best dishes that are offered. If they aren’t fans of going out to eat, ask them what (or if) they like to cook.

Or, if you are at an event, say something positive about the food that invites a response. For example, “The wedding cake is gorgeous. What flavor do you think it is?” or “Have you tried the crab cakes? They are the best I have ever had!”

5. Work

Talking about work is a natural conversation starter because most everyone has had a career or is currently working.

Sharing your career backgrounds allows you to find areas of common interest and connection. You may discover you know the same people or that your job responsibilities have some similarities.

It’s also interesting to learn more about a career field you haven’t pursued or experienced before.

Talking about your profession can be tricky, however, because you don’t want the conversation to turn into a boring explanation of what you both do as you watch each other’s eyes glaze over.

Make it interesting and unexpected by asking something like, “What skill do you most often use in your work?” or “What’s your favorite aspect of your job?”

6. Hobbies

Try to learn about the other person’s passions. People are often enthusiastic when talking about the things they love, and this will give you a chance to connect with the person on a more personal level.

Ask how they spend their free time, if they’re taking any classes for fun, or what things they would like to try doing in the future but haven’t had the chance yet.

A small talk example on this topic could be, “What’s the most recent new hobby or interest that you’ve tried?”

7. News and Current Events

An effective way to prepare for small talk in social situations is by reading (or listening to) the news every day.

Stay up-to-date on the happenings in the world and your city. Talk about the new construction project that’s being planned for downtown, the rising costs of traveling, or the recent teachers’ strike.

There is always something going on in the news that is on everyone’s mind. But be sure to stay away from controversial news and divisive political topics that could tank the conversation.

Use current events to build a bridge between you and the other person but not as a way to discover the other person’s political leanings.

8. Family

People commonly ask others about their families. You may ask something like, “Do you have any children?” or “Where is your family from?”

Be prepared to answer these types of family questions as well as ask them. Engaging in small talk about family will help you learn a lot about each other in a short period of time.

You will likely find some common ground here, whether its that you both have an older sister or your parents grew up in the same town.

9. Travel

People love to talk about the places they’ve visited. Ask your conversation partner about her favorite places to travel and what she recommends doing while there. This might help spark your interest for your next vacation.

If you’ve been to the same travel destination, share your experiences and your views of the culture. There are so many topics you can build around a travel conversation, such as favorite restaurants, local interests, sports, language differences. etc.

If the other person hasn’t traveled much, ask about his bucket list travel and adventure ideas.

Now that you know some good topics to talk about for small talk discussions, let’s drill down to some unique questions you can incorporate into the conversation to make it less mundane.

If you want to have more positive and meaningful conversations, it starts with great questions.

15 Good Small Talk Questions

Review these 15 questions to make small talk in a conversation with someone:

1. What is going great in your life right now?

It’s so easy for conversations to turn negative – work’s stressful, the weather is unpleasant, tax season is around the corner. By starting a conversation with a positive question, it can keep moving in that direction.

2. What is the weirdest thing that has happened to you lately?

This is a great way to connect to new people, and with such an open-ended question, they have the room to take it wherever they want.

Maybe they’ll recap an awkward meeting they recently had or they might share a hilarious personal story.

3. What were you like in high school?

When you meet people who are decades out of adolescence, you have no idea who they were during these self-defining years.

Sometimes it may come as a complete surprise that your conversation partner was the class clown, the jock, or a bookworm who spent most of the time in the library.

It’s always fun to be surprised by people’s pasts and to share your own stories from your high school days.

4. What was your first job?

You and your conversation partner may be serious professionals now, but you both had to start somewhere. Take the time to laugh about the movie theater uniforms, paper routes, and cheap mall stores that were part of your first real job.

5. What is the best advice you’ve ever gotten?

Not only will this question help you get to know someone really quickly, but it also allows you to hear some quality advice that you may have never heard before.

6. Which app on your phone do you use the most often?

This is another unique get-to-know-you question that will take people by surprise. But if you think about it, the answer offers you a good peek into their life.

7. What’s a movie you didn’t enjoy that everyone else loved and vice versa?

Find out what makes this person different from the rest and get a viewpoint from someone who has an unpopular opinion.

8. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever eaten?

This could get someone talking about some traveling they have done or maybe a hilarious cooking mishap. Either way, it will have them reminiscing about something funny.

9. What is your guilty pleasure?

While people don’t often proudly announce their guilty pleasures, once they are voiced, other people usually follow suit.

Maybe it’s that glass of wine before dinner or taking a 15-minute break for a cat nap during the workday.

If you can find common ground with someone on their guilty pleasure, you just made a great connection.

10. If you could talk to anyone in the world, living or dead, who would it be and why?

What a fun question to ask to get to know someone’s values and interests. Choosing one person out of millions of possibilities forces the speaker to zero in on someone who might be an inspiration, mentor, celebrity, or historic figure.

Understanding why your conversation partner chose the particular person can launch another series of interesting and informative answers.

11. Are you more of an introvert or an extrovert? What preferences make you one or the other?

You may be able to guess the answer to this question just by speaking with this person for a few minutes. However, many introverts have extraverted qualities for short periods of time.

Discovering the answers to these questions can help you better navigate the conversation and know whether or not to keep it light or go deeper. Introverts tend to prefer deeper conversation over prolonged small talk.

12. I noticed that you _____. Tell me more about it.

Take notice of something about the other person. Are they wearing something you like? Did they drive up in a classic sports car? Are they not eating meat? Do they have a cast on their arm? Are they holding a book?

Of course, you don’t want to point out anything unsightly or controversial (ie: a political button), but if you notice something interesting, bring it up and find out more.

13. What made you decide on a career in _______?

It’s fascinating to learn how people landed in the their particular career fields. Some people have had a passion for their careers since they were young. Others fell into their jobs or were pressured by parents or peers to follow a certain path.

The answer you receive can open the door to a longer discussion about the person’s background, education, experience, and interests.

14. Do you have any pets? If so, what kind? If not, why not?

Is this person you’re talking with an animal person? If so, knowing if they are a cat person or a dog person can tell you a lot.

Cat people tend to be more creative and enjoy solitary activities like reading, writing, and gardening. They credit their pet with helping them reduce stress.

Dog people are twice as likely to work in finance and enjoy sports, dancing, and travel. They see their dogs as a means to get more exercise.

If they don’t have a pet, is it because they don’t like animals or because they can’t fit one into their lives right now?

15. What is your biggest pet peeve?

We all have them — that something that really bugs us and yanks our chain. Maybe it’s loud talkers, throat-clearers at the movies, people who interrupt, or someone leaving their dishes in the sink.

If you want to get below the surface of this question, ask your conversation partner why this particular pet peeve bothers them so much. You might find out something much more interesting about his or her personality.

Keeping all of these small talk ideas in mind, what are some things that you definitely want to avoid while engaging in small talk?

You don’t want to find yourself in an awkward situation where there is a silence that you don’t know how to fill because the momentum of the conversation just came to a halt.

Let’s look at some topics that are best left untouched.

9 Awkward Conversation Topics that Are Uncomfortable

As you are considering what to talk about when you’re having small talk, you want to make sure the conversation stays light and relatively uneventful.

You don’t want to cause an argument of any kind or make people want to leave the conversation. What is not an appropriate topic for small talk? To avoid making anyone feel uncomfortable, don’t talk about:

• politics
• religion
• personal finances
• personal appearance
• death or illness
• personal gossip
• offensive jokes
• anything so specific that very few people can relate to it
• topics that are sexual in nature

You’ll know pretty quickly if you’ve veered into a conversation topic that is offensive or questionable if you’re able to read body language and facial expressions.

If you think you might have said something out of line, be sure to quickly repair the damage by saying something like, “I said the wrong thing here, and I apologize. Let’s talk about something else.”

More Related Articles:

30 Conversation Topics To Kickstart Your Speaking Confidence

How To End a Conversation Without Being Rude

99 Of The Best This Or That Questions To Spark Conversation

77 Of The Best Existential Questions To Blow Your Mind

Do you feel ready to master small talk topics?

Building rapport using casual conversation is a useful tool to have in all areas of your life.

If you want to improve your skills in this area, seek out opportunities to make small talk and approach people as if they are already your friend. This will make talking to them seem a little more natural.

Be curious about the person in front of you and ask them unique questions that they haven’t already answered several times. Stay engaged and add value to the conversation whenever you can.

Whether you love chatting people up or you wish you could avoid it, using these topic tips, conversation starters, and unique questions will help you get the most out of the conversation.

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“Get out of your comfort zone. You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.”
Brian Tracy

I’m a big fan of doing the unusual thing. Sometimes in big ways. Often in small and daily ways to mix things up.

Why?

Because this habit is a simple and relatively easy way to:

Get out of your comfort zone.

And if you change your perspective on yourself from someone who sticks to the old and comfortable all the time to someone who likes to mix things up then it will feel more natural and easier to break out of your comfort zone when comes to bigger things too.

Because this habit makes the inner resistance and the fear that may hold you back smaller.

Add a spark to your day and come alive. 

It keeps you from getting stuck in the same old daily or weekly rut. And it adds more fun to your life.

Refuel your curiousness about the world and life.

When you do the unusual thing regularly you to discover a ton of new and exciting things.

And that will refuel your curiousness about what else is out there that you haven’t discovered just yet.

So how do you do the unusual thing and break out of your comfort zone in small and sometimes bigger ways?

20 Ways to Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

1. Eat the unusual thing.

Instead of choosing the meat-based dish at lunch try the vegetarian alternative.

Or try the fish if you usually go for the beef.

2. Smile towards everyone.

Instead of just going along with your day in your normal social way try smiling more.

Smile more towards your co-workers, the lady at the checkout at the supermarket, the people closest to you and smile to yourself when you encounter a mirror. See what happens.

3. Cook something new.

Each week we try cooking a new recipe.

It is most often a tasty experiment and helps us to find, sometimes unexpected, new favorites.

It has also certainly made me a better cook in the last few years.

4. Mix up your music.

I mix things up by trying new music every month.

I have a look at the best music on sites like Metacritic. Then I load a few of those albums on Spotify and listen.

5. Work in complete silence and stillness.

Shut the door to your office, shut off your music, unplug the internet and just focus on doing the most important thing you can do today while enjoying the silence.

6. Read something that your friends wouldn’t guess that you are reading.

Doing this has helped me to expand my horizons and learn new skills and many, often unexpected things about the world around me.

7. Do all your shopping for the week.

Instead of doing grocery shopping when you feel like it or need to, sit down and plan what you will eat and need for a whole week. Go and get all of that at the store.

Now you don’t have to go back there for a week and you’ll probably have a bunch of extra free time (and less stress) to enjoy this week.

8. Have a day of kindness.

Instead of having the usual bursts of irony, sarcasm etc. during your day try to go for a day where you are just being kind and friendly to everyone including yourself.

9. Enjoy it all.

All fluctuations during your normal day is a part of life and as life it’s a gift in some way or another.

So on some days I just tell myself: “enjoy it all”.

Then I try to enjoy my day no matter if the inbox is overfull, if I’m hungry and starting to get cranky. The things I usually don’t like so much I tell myself to enjoy as a part of life.

And so my day actually becomes more enjoyable because much of how we see life is about how we choose to think about it.

10. Watch something odd.

If you usually watch thrillers then try a romantic comedy. If you most often get stuck with documentaries try an animated movie from Japan (I recommend anything by Hayao Miyazaki).

If you love Family Guy, try The Wire. Expand what you watch to get new ideas and impressions.

11. Listen to the sound of the world.

Leave your portable music player/app at home or shut off and in your pocket.

Just listen to sounds of the city, nature and people as you move about during your day.

12. Take a day to be offline.

I tend to spend a day a week offline (usually Saturday or Sunday). It’s a wonderful change of pace and feels like I’m on a small, healthy and extra relaxing vacation.

Plus, it makes it more fun to get back to work on Monday.

13. Take a news black out.

Instead of reading the paper or watching the news as usual try to go without that for a day. See how it affects you and how much you miss the news.

14. Hide a note for a loved one.

Hide a sweet note of affection for a partner, family member or a friend in his or her cookie jar, tea or coffee container, book on the nightstand, hat, shoes or somewhere else where they look each day.

Make him or her happy in an unexpected and unusual way.

15. Take a different route.

To work or to school. To your gym or home.

See something new even when you are in transport mode.

16. Walk or take the bicycle to work.

Instead of taking the car or riding the bus as usual. Get some exercise and fresh air before it is time to start working and on your way home.

17. Let it go just for today.

If you often get into arguments or have trouble letting issues go and replay them over and over in your mind then just for today let it all go.

Tomorrow you can take up your old habits just where you left them.

But for today, instead of getting into an argument just let it go and walk away. If you replay something in your mind, let it go for today. If an old memory pops up today too, let it go instead of dwelling.

18. Go out.

If you usually stay in during the weekdays, then call up a few friends and head down to the pub for a few hours even if it’s just a Wednesday.

Or call up someone you haven’t met in ages and go for a cup of tea or coffee. Or pop down to the movie theater and catch a movie.

If you usually do those things though, consider just staying in with PJs on and taking it easy.

19. Sit in a new place.

If you have favorite chair or part of the sofa where you always sit then try another chair or place to sit today. It can give you a new perspective at work or at home.

And I have found that it can even give me some new and fresh thoughts and perspectives on life.

20. Throw out the things you haven’t used in 1 year.

Go through one part of your home – a closet, a drawer in your desk or bedroom cabinet – and see what’s in there.

Go through the items one by one and ask yourself:

Have I used this item in the past year?

If not, give the item(s) away to charity or a friend or simply throw it out.

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“Simply put, you believe that things or people make you unhappy, but this is not accurate. You make yourself unhappy.”
Wayne Dyer

“Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.”
Marcus Aurelius

It is usually pretty easy to become a happier person.

It is also quite easy to rob yourself of your own happiness.

To make yourself more miserable and add a big bowl of suffering to your day. It is a common thing, people do it every day all over the world.

So this week I’d like to combine these two things. I want to share 7 happiness stealing habits that I have had quite a bit of trouble with in my own daily life (and I know from the emails I get that many of you do too).

But I’d also like to add what you can do instead if you find yourself being stuck in one of these destructive habits.

1. Going for a daily swim in a sea of negative voices.

This one can be quite subtle.

You just go around in your daily life like you usually do. Hang out with the same people. Listen to the same podcasts or radio shows, watch the same old TV-shows or Youtube videos and read the usual blogs, books and magazines.

But what influence do these things have over your thinking and the limits you set for yourself and what you feel you deserve in life?

What to do instead:

Make a list of the 5 people you hang out with the most and the 5 media sources you spend most time on during your week.

Then ask yourself this for each of these 10 things/people: is this one dragging me down or lifting me up in life?

Consider spending less time with the ones that drag you down (or move fully forward and cut them out completely) and to spend more of your time with the people and sources that lift you up and make you feel good, motivated etc.

If you have trouble getting started with this one, then go smaller.

Take a few minutes to think about what one person or source that has the biggest negative impact on you. And how you can start to spend less time with it/him/her this week.

2. Waiting for just the right time.

When you have a dream then it is so easy to get lost in planning how you will accomplish it. To drift away in daydreams about how it will be. But also to get stuck in fears about failing with it.

So you make a common choice and wait – and wait and wait for maybe years – for just the right time to take action and get started with making that dream into something real.

What to do instead:

Sure, not every dream is something you can get started with right now.

But there are many that you can get going with. Dreams that only fear is holding you back from.

So make things easy on yourself. You don’t have to do it in a big and extremely courageous jump.

If that was the case then only the bravest people in the world would do and achieve what they want.

Instead, take a small step forward. Take one small action.

That is it.

Then tomorrow you can take another small step forward.

The important thing is that you get started and get going instead spending so much time on just waiting and feeling more and more frustrated and unhappy about the state of your dreams.

3. Letting criticism get under your skin time and time again.

When someone criticizes or verbally attacks you then it may just roll off you like water of the back of a duck.

But if it on the other hand gets under your skin pretty much every time and drags you down into hours or days of self-doubt or self-beatings then you have a problem.

What to do instead:

Let it out.

Talk it over with someone close to you to let the inner tensions out. And to find a healthier perspective on what happened together.

Remember: it is not always about you.

If your self-esteem is low them it is easy to start thinking that all the negative things people tell you are your fault in some way.

That is however often not the case.

People will attack or harshly criticize to let their own steam out. Because they have had an awful day, week or simply do not like their lives that much.

So don’t think it is all about you. There are two of you in this situation.

4. Focusing on the wrong people and getting lost in envy and powerlessness.

When you spend much time in your day thinking about what other people have and do and you compare your life to theirs then you have a good recipe for unhappiness.

Because you spend the attention and energy in the wrong place.

What to do instead:

Focus on you. Compare yourself to yourself.

See how far you have come. The obstacles you have overcome. How you have improved in small or sometimes bigger ways. Appreciate that and yourself.

Focus not on what others have but on what YOU deep down want in your life.

And ask yourself: what is one small step I can take today to get the ball rolling with this goal/dream?

Keep your focus on yourself and what you can actually do to raise your self-confidence, to start walking on your own path and to spend your limited daily time and energy on something that will actually pay off.

5. Not allowing yourself times of peace and rest during your day.

When you are busy, busy, busy all the time and give yourself no time to recharge then you soon become fatigued.

And so each step and each thing you do starts to feel heavier and you do not get much enjoyment at all out of pushing and pulling yourself through it.

What to do instead:

Take a break every hour.

Try setting the timer on your cell phone for 45 minutes. During that time-period just focus on doing your most important task at the moment.

Then, as the bell rings, set the timer for 15 minutes and step away from your workspace.

Have a snack, talk a walk or stretch a bit.

By cycling rest and fully focused work like this you’ll get more things done, do a better job and it will be easier to keep the optimism and motivation up.

Be 10 minutes early.

Transform those traveling times during your day into relaxing breaks instead of passages of time and space that only increase your stress levels and other negative feelings.

6. Never trying anything new.

This one can be sneaky.

It can make you think that things are pretty OK. You have your safe and comfortable routine.

I know, I have been there for long stretches of time.

But during those times there was also denial of feeling dissatisfied. A vague feeling of standing still that sometimes bloomed up into a big burst of undefined, negative feelings directed towards the world or myself.

What to do instead:

Remind yourself of the past times when you tried something new.

And how you most often did not regret it one bit but had an exciting, interesting or fun time.

Go small.

You don’t have to try skydiving. Just take one small step and try some new and different music, a movie or book you would normally not go for or the vegetarian dish if you usually have the beef or sausage for lunch.

Say yes just once this week when your mind says no.

If a friend invites you to go out running, doing yoga or to go fishing or to a party and your mind goes “let’s say no, that is not what I usually do” then stop yourself for a second.

And reconsider.

You don’t have to say yes to every suggestion you get this week to try something new, but give it a shot and say yes to just one of those things.

7. Taking things too seriously.

When you take life too seriously then it is easy to become so afraid of making a mistake and of stumbling a bit that you get stuck.

When you take yourself too seriously then, in my experience, it becomes difficult to fully enjoy the moment and what is happening, to let go of the past and to laugh about yourself and life when you need it the most.

What to instead:

Put up a reminder.

When I wanted to develop a lighter mindset quite a few years ago one thing that helped me was a simple note on fridge that said: Lighten Up!

This reminder helped me to snap out of overly serious thoughts several times a day until this way of finding a lighter perspective became more and more of an automatic thought habit.

Surround yourself with lighter mindsets.

As mentioned in the section about habit #1, what and who you surround yourself with will have a big effect on how you think. No matter if it is a positive or negative aspect they add.

So one powerful thing to do is to add lighter mindsets via people, books, the internet etc. to your daily life.

Raise your self-esteem.

I have found that as my self-esteem has gone up I can laugh about myself more because I am less defensive. I have more trust in myself and so I fear a temporary failure less.

And I like myself more and so I am less concerned about getting everyone else to like me all the time.

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“Gratitude is when memory is stored in the heart and not in the mind.”
Lionel Hampton

“Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.”
Marcel Proust

Maybe the simplest and most effortless habit for living a happier life is to take one or a few minutes every day to focus on what is already here and that you can be grateful for in your life.

It can help you to…

• Lift your mood and boost motivation very quickly.
• Find the things in your life that you want to focus even more of your time and energy on.
• Not just take things for granted and to find joy even during the tougher times.

It is simply a great habit to cultivate that demands little but gives much back.

So this week I’d like to explore 5 small tips that you can use to cultivate more gratitude and happiness in your life.

1. Pause and look around yourself.

A first simple step to build the gratitude habit is simply to pause in your everyday life and to ask yourself questions like:

• What can I be grateful for in my life today?
• Who are 3 people that I can be grateful to have in my life and why?

If you cannot come up with several things or people every day then that is OK. If you find one thing or one person then that is great too. Don’t get hung up on the numbers.

Just take a few minutes and see what you come up with.

Try to not repeat the same things too often. Instead, try to think of more things and people you can be grateful for in your life.

2. Look towards yourself.

Don’t just look outward.

Take a look at yourself too. A habit of being appreciative and grateful towards yourself is a simple way to improve self-esteem and self-confidence.

Ask yourself:

What are 3 things I can be grateful for about myself?

It could be that you were a good father/mother/friend in a moment of crisis this week. It could be that you finally got done with that task you had been procrastinating on.

Your self-gratitude does not have to be all about achievements at work or in school for example.

You can simply be grateful for your good sense of humor or that you help people out a lot by being a good listener from time to time.

3. Take a closer look at the very smaller things or what you may take for granted.

Don’t just focus on the big and obvious things you can be grateful for.

Think about what very small things you can be grateful for too.

Like the plant just in front of my laptop that I am writing these words on.

It is not a remarkable plant. But its simple beauty in the vibrant green color, how it keeps growing on just a little water and sunshine and the faint smell of nature is something simple I feel grateful for.

Another thing that I am grateful for today – that I may sometimes take for granted – was my lunch. It was a few potatoes with some grilled chicken and a dollop of sauce. It was delicious.

And, more importantly, I don’t have to go hungry. I am in the very fortunate position of being able to eat lunch every day.

Ask yourself:

• What is one very small thing that I can be grateful for today?
• What is one thing I may usually for granted that I can be grateful for?

Opening your eyes to the small and daily things you can appreciate lets you truly see more of the simple beauty in life.

4. Do it early or late in your day.

But how do you get the gratitude habit to stick and not just become one of those things you forget about or abandon after a few days?

Two things that I have found effective are:

• Take 1 minute in the morning to get a good start to your day by finding 3 small or big things you are grateful for in your life.
• Take 1-2 minutes each evening and use a journal to write down maybe 3 or 5 things you are grateful for about your day, about yourself or about your life.

Try one of these tiny time commitments every day for a week and see how it impacts your thoughts, feelings and life.

5. Express your gratitude.

Don’t just keep the gratitude on the inside. Express it.

Make other people happier too – and help them to perhaps pay it forward later on – by expressing how you are grateful for having them in your life.

Plus, their smile and the joy in their eyes when you tell them this will make you happier too.

Now, that gratitude could just be a small sentence. But it can have a big impact on someone’s day, week or even life sometimes.

So tell the people in your life.

Tell them in person tonight. Or write an email or a letter to someone a little further away in the world. Or send a small text message right now.

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“Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.”
Leonardo da Vinci

“The aspects of things that are most important for us are hidden because of their simplicity and familiarity.”
Ludwig Wittgenstein

I love simplifying my life. It makes me more effective and life less stressful. It makes me calmer and happier.

But where do you start? Or continue if you are already on your way?

In this week’s article I’d like to share 21 small habits that help me to live a simpler life.

Pick one of these to get started and keep doing it until it sticks and becomes just another normal part of your life.

1. Breathe.

When stressed, lost in a problem (or a mistake) or the past or future in your mind breathe with your belly for two minutes and just focus on the air going in and out.

This will calm your body down and bring your mind back into the present moment again.

2. Do one thing at a time.

You’ll get better results and feel better and less stressed while doing those things.

3. Write it all down.

Use your mind for better things than remembering what to do. And the mind is often like a leaky bucket.

So write down all your great ideas, insights and thoughts before they go missing somewhere and add what you need to do to a to-do list.

4. Do all your food shopping once a week.

You’ll save time, energy and – in my experience – money.

5. Stop trying to do things perfectly. 

It will only get you stuck and drain your self-esteem.

Go for good enough instead and when you are there you are done. Get things all the way to done this way and then move on to the next thing.

6. Stop doing what you don’t like doing anymore.

Life changes and so do you.

If you don’t like doing something anymore then stop doing that (even if it may take some time before you can do so by for example switching jobs).

7. Pack your bag before you go to bed.

Then you don’t have to get stressed out by that in morning and you are less likely to forget something.

8. Throw out the things you haven’t used in 1 year.

Go through what you have and ask yourself if you have used it in the past year. If not, give it away to charity or a friend or simply throw it out.

9. Ask yourself simplifying questions every day.

Questions like:

• What is the most important thing I can do right now?
• What is one small step I can take to simplify this situation?

10. Keep everything in its place.

If everything has its own place then it is whole lot easier to keep your home reasonably ordered and decluttered from day to day.

This also helps you with your inner stillness as the outer environment affects how you feel on the inside.

11. Cook more food than you’ll eat. 

We usually make four or more servings of what we’re about to eat. This cuts down on time that you spend on cooking and you’ll have to do less washing up in general.

Plus, it’s good to have portions of food to bring to work to save some money.

12. Write shorter emails.

I tend to write emails containing only a few sentences, usually between one and five. If you focus on keeping it short and focused then you’ll probably discover that this is a good solution in most cases.

13. Ask instead of guessing.

Reading minds is hard. So, instead ask questions and communicate.

This will help you to minimize unnecessary conflicts, misunderstandings, negativity and waste of time and energy.

14. Use a minimalistic workspace.

My workspace contains a big monitor and a laptop on an adjustable standing desk. I use a comfy chair and there is room for my glass of water beside the computer.

That’s it. There are no distractions here. Just me, the computer and the water.

15. Check everything just once a day.

I check my email inboxes, blog statistics, my online earnings, Twitter and Facebook just once a day.

I combine all that checking into one small daily ritual at the end of my workday so I don’t slip and go checking it more during the day and waste my energy and attention.

16. Choose small daily acts of kindness.

Instead of small acts of judgment and criticism towards the people around you (and towards yourself).

17. Stop trying to please everyone.

There will always be people who you don’t get along with or that do not like you for some reason.

18. Don’t make mountains out of molehills.

Before you start thinking too much about something and building it up something big in your head, ask yourself:

Am I making a mountain out of a molehill here?

And if you get lost in victim thinking then ask yourself:

Does anyone on the planet have it worse than me right now?

19. Spend 10-15 minutes each Sunday or Monday morning to plan out the week.

Write down your plans for the week, organize your prioritized to-do list and get ready for the week before you are in the middle of it all.

This will help you to find more clarity, get more of the most important things done next week and minimize stress.

20. Cancel subscriptions for things you rarely get around to watching or reading anyway.

21. Spend more time with the people that help you to keep things simple.

And spend less time with – or move forward and away from – the people that drag you down into overcomplicating everything and creating unnecessary drama.

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