“It is never too late to be what you might have been.”
George Eliot

Getting started with doing what you deep down want to do in life can be hard.

No matter if what you want is to start exercising, create your own business on the side, write a book, see other parts of the world, improve your relationship with yourself or something entirely else.

But often we make getting started a lot harder than it needs to be by standing in our own way.

So today I’d like to share 3 things you need to stop doing to step out of your own way and make it so much easier to actually get started instead of just keep dreaming about it.

1. Stop making it a huge and vague thing in your mind.

The more you think about whatever you want to get started with the bigger it tends to become in your head.

And as you keep thinking about the various ways this could go it tends to become scarier and scarier.

So do this instead:

Get knowledge from the others who have been where you want to go.

To defuse vague fears about what could happen if you got started and about the unclear unknown, get information from people who have already gone where you want to go.

It is easier than ever to find them today.

Look them up online and read what they have written and said or send them an email.

Or go ask someone you know in real life that has done what you want to do.

Ask yourself: Honestly, what is realistically the worst that could happen?

Take a couple of deep breaths to calm down your mind a bit.

Then ask yourself this question.

You’ll realize that in most cases the worst thing that could realistically happen is not that bad.

It may sting for a bit. But it is something you can handle. And it is a situation you can find something to do about if this worst case scenario were to happen.

The clarity you get from this question can – in my experience – reduce fears quite a bit.

2. Stop trying to control everything.

Being prepared and knowing some things certainly helps.

But it can become a trap when you try to control it all or think things through 50 times to be on the safe side and to not risk making mistakes, fail or look like a fool.

What to do instead:

Realize: you will stumble and that is OK.

It happens to anyone who steps outside of his or her comfort zone. It has happened to everyone you may admire and who have lived a life that is inspiring.

It is simply a part of a life well lived.

And if you reflect on what you can learn from a mistake then that will be invaluable to help you grow and improve.

Learn to set time-limits for small decisions at first.

If you have trouble with overthinking then set a time-limit for when you have to make a decision. This might seem a bit scary though.

So start small and set a 30-60 second time-limit when trying to decide if you are going to work out or reply to an email.

Do that for a while and then move on to slightly bigger decisions. And then even bigger ones after that.

3. Stop thinking that you have to get started in a big and spectacular way.

If you have a big goal or dream or even a medium sized one then it is easy to think that you have to take an action of the same size to get started or to get where you want to go.

That is most often not true though.

What to do instead:

Go small.

Just ask yourself: what is one small step I can take today to get the ball rolling with my goal/dream?

Then take just that small action.

And tomorrow or later on today you can do the same thing again. If that question still lands you in procrastination then ask yourself:

What is one tiny step I can take to get the ball rolling?

Single-task each little step.

Focus on just the one step you are taking. Nothing else.

Otherwise it is easy to get lost in thought, to go off track or to feel uncomfortable or fearful. So keep your attention on just this one action and step forward.

And after that, the next one.

Let these actions build day after day into something bigger.

And before you know it you’ll have gone quite a distance on your journey.

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“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”
Winston Churchill

“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.”
Anais Nin

One of the most common questions people ask me via email is how to become more of an optimist.

So this week I’d simply like to share three habits that can help you to get started with that.

I use these myself just about every day to stay optimistic in pretty much any situation.

It may sometimes take a while before I find an optimistic thread of thought but these three habits usually help me to do it.

1. Ask yourself questions that let you see the optimistic viewpoint.

When I’m in what seems like a negative situation my most common way of making something better out of that is to ask myself questions that promote optimism and helps me to find solutions.

Questions like:

• What is one thing that is positive or good about this situation?
• What is one thing I can learn from this situation?
• What is one opportunity within this situation?

These questions are not something that I can always use right away. Sometimes I need some time to process and accept the feelings and thoughts that arise.

But after a bit of time, when those thoughts and feelings have mostly passed, I ask myself one or more of these questions.

2. Get optimistic support from the world around you.

One of the most important factors if you want to be able to stay optimistic are the influences around you.

Optimism is – just like enthusiasm – contagious.

So find ways to create an environment that supports you.

The people in your life.

Try to spend more time with optimistic people and less time with people who seem to always be negative about things.

Positive people will support you, add upbeat energy and can help you to find a constructive change in perspective when you have a situation that is bringing you down and when you are just making a mountain out of a molehill.

The information you let into your mind.

One of the easiest things you can do to create and support your own optimism is simply to regularly read blogs and books and listen to or watch recordings created by optimistic people.

3. Start your day in an optimism creating way.

The way you start your day often sets the tone for the rest of it.

A stress-free morning leads to less stress and better focus during your day.

A work out early in your day leads to more energy throughout the day.

And optimism while you are eating your cereal or traveling to work or school can help you to stay positive and constructive as you go through the ups and downs of your day.

Three practical ways to get this good start is to:

• Read or watch something optimistic or funny for 10-20 minutes during your morning.
• Have an uplifting conversation over breakfast or early in your day.
• Listen to a motivating audiobook or podcast as you ride the bus, your bicycle or while you’re walking somewhere.

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