First of all, thank you for having the courage to be here. 

It’s not easy to Google “How to be less toxic,” but it’s a great way to do some inner reflection.

This is a safe space with self-improvement in mind, not judgment or criticism. 

It’s safe to assume that if you always find yourself at the center of the drama, attracting toxic people, and always in a fight or flight mode, you might be contributing to the toxicity in your life. 

What Does It Mean to Be a Toxic Person?

Toxic means something different to each person.

The dictionary defines toxic as “very harmful or unpleasant in a pervasive or insidious way.” 

The truth is, toxic doesn’t always mean “bad,” “evil,” or “broken.” Heck, even too much oxygen –  something we need to survive – can be toxic when misused. 

Characteristics of a toxic person include: 

• Selfish: They always need you but rarely show up when you need them.
• Manipulation: They will get what they want at all costs – guilt, bargaining (to their benefit), lies (from little white to big little lies), and bullying are common tools.
• Negative: If the sun doesn’t come up the right shade of yellow, these people will complain about it all day. They always find something to complain about. 
• Judgy: You become afraid to open up to toxic people because you know they will act as judge, jury, and prosecutor in what should be a safe space. 
• Passive Aggressive: These people might smile to your face when you cancel plans but then post a meme about “loser friends” on their social media accounts. 
• Angry: They lose their temper over the little things – traffic, long lines, you purchasing something they wanted, etc. 

How Do I Know If I’m Toxic?

For some of you reading this, you already know.

That’s why you’re here. Maybe you’re looking for a scapegoat, but you aren’t going to find it here. 

This tool can help you learn how not to be toxic. For the others here, you know you’re toxic:

• If you are always surrounded by drama. 
• If your friendships are fleeting. 
• If you genuinely feel nothing is ever your fault and the world just “seems to be out to get you.” 

There are key indicators in daily life that might help you determine if you need to stop being toxic or if you’re just going through a rough patch. 

• Competition: If everything feels like a competition, whether spoken or internal, you might be fueling a toxic environment. Friends and significant others celebrate the success of the people they love. They don’t try to “one up” them at every turn. 
• Attention Seekers: It’s one thing to love attention when you’ve won accolades; it’s another to turn a bout of the flu into a drama show about medical issues. Parents can also create a toxic environment around sick children. For example, a child has a cold, so they miss a day of school, but the mom constantly tweets about how “deathly ill” the child is, so people will offer comfort. 
• Sarcasm: In a world of memes and hilarious social media commentary, sarcasm has become its own language. People brag about their wit and quick thinking, but if everything generates sarcasm from you, put it on pause. There’s a difference between sarcasm and sadism. Remove “I told you so” from your vocabulary entirely. 
• Annoyed: You know deep down when this happens. Your friend reaches out to you with a “friend emergency,” and you groan to yourself and agree to meet up, only to half listen and nod your head while being disconnected from the conversation. Extra credit toxicity? Repeatedly only saying “That’s crazy” to people via text while they are pouring their hearts out to you. 
• “You Can’t Sit With Us!”: If your friends have gatherings where you aren’t invited, or they meet in splintered groups, they might just be trying to avoid the drama or self-centered features you bring. 

How to Stop Being Toxic: 13 Steps You Can Take

Can toxic people change? Absolutely! 

You must make a concerted effort to find your toxic fault lines and re-adjust your thinking and reaction to the situation. 

If you don’t know how to stop being toxic in your relationship, there are great ways to start the conversation and move forward with a hazmat spill of emotions or hurt feelings. 

1. Do Some Soul Searching

Toxic people don’t just pop out of the woodwork. The habits are usually formed early in life, based on interactions with family and friends. 

Maybe your mom always made a big deal about you being sick, so that trait has carried on to how you react when your children are sick. Identify “where things went toxic” to better understand how you got here. 

Allow yourself grace during this process. This isn’t a session to beat yourself up or list all your regrets. This is a way to focus on being a better you. 

2. Talk to Your Friends, Family, and Partner

This one can be tricky because if your friends already think you have toxic traits, they might not want to be honest with you. These conversations are better in one-on-one environments than in group gatherings. Some conversation starters might be:

• “I feel like I’m not always a good friend to you as you go through this divorce/breakup/job loss. How can I better support you?”
• “I know every time we go out, I end up in a dramatic situation, and I feel like the way I treated the valet attendant was really out of line. From your perspective, tell me where the night goes wrong.” 
• “I have been very dismissive of your opinions during the recent discussions, and I apologize. I want to be a better listener, and I’d like to hear more about your thoughts on the topic we discussed last night.”

3. Remove Toxic Language from Your Vocabulary

Maybe it IS the 10th time your bestie has talked about the breakup from a year ago, and you continue to tell her, “Just get over it.”

Friends don’t tell friends to “just get over it.” Other language that you should nix from your vernacular:

• “You’re Too Sensitive” – Some people are more sensitive than others. Some people are better at math than art. Everyone is different, and accepting people for who they are will go a long way in the toxic cleanup. 
  • INSTEAD: “I can tell this is an emotional topic for you, and I want to respect your space. Do you want to pause this and think about it overnight? We can regroup in the morning.” 
• “Whatever” – Lord help the person on the receiving end of a “Whatever.” This is a dismissive and cruel tactic to use, as it invalidates anything else the other person is saying. Always remember, the person you disagree with believes what they believe with the same conviction of your beliefs. 
  • INSTEAD: “I feel like we’re chasing our tails here. Let’s just agree to disagree and go get that brunch.”
•  “You are just like your mother/father/brother” – This is taking proprietary information, like how much your friend gets frustrated by her mom and shoves it right back in her face.  
  • INSTEAD: Just don’t say it. Even trying an “I know how much your mom frustrates you, which is why I’m confused about why you are acting like her “ is the same dang thing. 

4. Turn Your Thoughts Around

We aren’t just learning how not to be toxic to our loved ones; we have to stop being toxic to ourselves. 

Start the day with an affirmation of positivity if you know you are prone to be negative. Stop looking at everything that went wrong in your rush to work and celebrate the things that went right, like when you hit a green light. Yes, this holds even if every other light was red. 

When we speak in a kinder voice to ourselves, we’re better mentally prepared to handle the things that come up in the environment of people we love. 

5. Make a Permission Pact

Make an agreement with your friends that any “emotional vomiting” needs to come with permission. 

A sentence like “Do you have the headspace right now to talk about a situation that is bothering me?” will show respect for the other person’s time and any demons of their own they might be fighting. 

6. Don’t Gaslight

This concept is also in the words of the “How to Be Less Toxic” invisible handbook. 

When you tell someone they are overreacting or not experiencing something valid, you make that person feel crazy. Any lover of the Real Housewives franchise sees this happening repeatedly. 

Gaslighting isn’t just toxic; it’s psychological abuse that leaves deep scars. It’s used to gain a power position over the other person, but in the end, nobody wins. 

More Related Articles

27 Of The Most Glaring Traits Of A Female Narcissist

12 Of The Worst Negative Personality Traits That Are Truly Nasty

35 Disturbing Signs of Gaslighting In A Relationship

7. Dig Deep

“If you start up with Big again, I don’t want to know anything about it.” Those scorching words from Miranda to Carrie during Season 3 of Sex & The City shocked fans to the core. 

Miranda just had enough of hearing about the same person causing the same hurt to her beloved friend. 

Sometimes you just have to dig deep inside yourself and find the ability to listen. Don’t try to offer help or solutions. 

Don’t judge the person. Actually pay attention, even if you’ve heard the same stories repeatedly. Your friends listen to your repetition. Pay in kind. 

BONUS: If you can say, “Do you want advice, or do you just want me to listen? I’m here for you either way.” 

8. Empathy Doesn’t Mean What You Might Think

Just because empathy means you understand what the person is going through doesn’t mean it’s time for you to steal the stage and tell your tale of a similar experience. 

Of course, it does feel natural to say, “I understand. I went through the same thing ten years ago and…” 

The problem with this is – suddenly, the issue is all about you and not about your friend.

Only speak about your experience if they ask you. While experiences can be similar, no two people have the exact same reaction or adaption to life changes or grief. 

9. Leave the Jokes to Jimmy Fallon

There’s a time to infuse humor, and there’s a time to avoid all urges to make a joke. 

The problem with humor is that only stand-up comics use it as a way to be funny. Regular humans use it to mask emotions, avoid confrontation, or speak their truth without saying it directly. 

An example of this might be meeting a friend for happy hour, and they say, “I had a terrible day.” You respond, “Well, you look like a truck ran over you, so there’s that.” 

Even the closest friendships and the most understanding of loved ones will cringe a little when they hear that. 

10. Stop Saying It on Social Media

Toxic traits spill over onto social media at MACH 3. 

Even friends who aren’t directly impacted by whatever your drama is are going to tire of the barrage of memes about your inner struggles. (C’mon, you know you’ve unfollowed someone who did that!) 

You also don’t know if a friend who isn’t on your mind might take a passive-aggressive post as a dig at them. You could be hurting more people than you even realize with your posts. 

11. Don’t Seek Counsel in Other Loved Ones

There are three reasons why going to friends for mental health help isn’t a good idea when you really want to learn how to be less toxic.

• They are scared of you. Your inner Regina George might have your friends bowing down to anything you feel and unwilling to help you because they fear being ostracized from the group. 
• They aren’t unbiased. Your friends see your beauty and skills from a very biased perspective. You might have been completely rude to a server, but they will take your side because you DID ask for ketchup, and she brought ranch dressing. She must be an idiot, right? 
• They aren’t skilled enough to help. Your friends can help you through a lot, but you wouldn’t want them to do heart surgery on you. A mental health professional is trained to deal with your issues in a safe zone while being honest. Even if your friend is a therapist, a conflict of interest will prevent them from treating you anyway. 

12. Stop Being Critical

You call it “wanting the best for your partner,” but they see it as nothing they do is good enough. The fact that they did load the dishwasher is a good thing, yet you’ll list off the ten ways they did it wrong and throw in another no-no phase of “If I want it done right, I have to do it myself.”

Now, it’s one thing to tell a friend she spilled coffee on her white pants. It’s another to tell her five reasons why white pants are just not cool and then suggest you go through her closet for appropriate clothing. 

See if you can go one day without criticizing anything about a loved one or yourself. Exchange criticism for thankful words of what did happen. 

13. Learn To Say Sorry… and Mean It

One of the best ways to stop being toxic in your relationship is to offer a wholehearted “I’m sorry.” 

For toxic people, those words taste like you-know-what coming out of their mouths. 

Apologizing doesn’t mean you are weak or invalid. It just means you made a mistake. Forgiveness is the root of improvement in our daily lives.  

Why Am I Toxic and How to Change

These characteristics of a toxic person aren’t going to go away immediately. 

The traits didn’t develop overnight. They come from a lifetime of experiences and relationships that fueled defense mechanisms or selfish behavior. Some people stop being toxic after a stressful life event. 

You can change if you take some time to focus on yourself and practice some basic mental health support techniques. 

• Journaling: This will help you get thoughts out of your head and onto paper instead of spewing venom at your tribe. 
• Remove Other Toxic Forces: You can’t just say sayonara to your toxic mother, but you can limit triggering situations with her. If you have a colleague who is giving you toxic energy and fueling your own emotional hazmat container, take up a fitness class on the night you usually go to happy hour with him or her. 
• Know Your Triggers: List off all the situations that trigger your venomous side. Take a beat before you react to or address those situations and make a brief affirmation of being kind, attentive, or present.

Final Thoughts

There’s a great line in the song Apex Predator from the Mean Girls musical. It goes, “So I’m kinda friends, but you’re kinda prey. Jesus, what a day with the Apex Predator. Will she braid your hair, will she eat your heart?” 

Nobody wants to be in a relationship or friendship with someone who constantly brings a negative vibe and cold heart. At best, your friendships will suffer. At worst, your relationships will end.

Learning how to be less toxic is actually much easier to clean up than you might think. The hardest part, which you’ve already done, is accepting you need to make some changes.

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Derek Sivers said, “Don’t be on your deathbed someday having squandered your one chance at life, full of regret because you pursued little distractions instead of big dreams.”

Those big dreams are what Paulo Coelho called “Personal Legends” in The Alchemist. It’s comparable to your life purpose.

When you live your Personal Legend, you tend to experience synchronicities, live life in flow and are well on your way to self-actualization. That’s the path to soul-level fulfillment.

Deep down, every human longs for a sense of purpose and meaning in life. The problem is that we often seek those in the wrong places. Fulfillment doesn’t come from grandiose accomplishments, prestige, or doing what others expect of us; it comes from living our Personal Legends.

When we ignore the inner call to pursue that particular path, we go through life with a nagging feeling that something is missing. We also risk ending up with regrets in the future. However, that’s totally avoidable; there’s still time to pursue your Personal Legend.

Here’s how you can do it.

1. Follow the Breadcrumbs

To live your Personal Legend, you must follow your heart—your heart-centered dreams and desires. Those are the things that make you feel alive, inspired, excited, and energized and that spark curiosity within you.

Too many people discard their dreams because they’ve convinced themselves that they aren’t “reasonable.” But your heart-centered desires aren’t just childish fantasies; they are breadcrumbs guiding you to your most authentic and fulfilling life.

Plus, as Paulo Coelho wrote, “You will never be able to escape from your heart, so it’s better to listen to what it has to say.”

2. Don’t Fall for the Ego’s “Wants” or the “Shoulds” of Society

One of the main difficulties in living our Personal Legends is differentiating our heart’s desires from the “wants” of our egos or the “shoulds” of conditioning.

The ego’s “wants” are rooted in fear, need, and feelings of lack. For example, when I was a teenager, I dreamed of becoming a famous actress and living in Hollywood. I was doing theater and enjoyed acting, but wanting to be famous wasn’t a heart-centered desire; it was just my ego. My ego craved recognition and praise. It wanted to feel important.

As for the desires that come from conditioning, those are the things our education and society taught us we “should” do. For example, I went to university because I was told growing up that intelligent people get college degrees (which, of course, is untrue). I wasn’t particularly excited about going to university, and it ended up being a waste of time and money.

To differentiate your heart-centered dreams and desires from those of your ego or conditioning, write down what you want. Next, for each thing, write down why you want it. Ask yourself “why” five times to go deeper. Then, look at the reasons you want each item on your list. Is it to receive praise, obtain a certain social status, or feel superior to others? That’s the ego. Is it because you were told it’s what you should do? That’s conditioning. Is it because it makes you feel alive, vibrant, and inspired? That’s your heart.

3. Commit to Pursuing Your Personal Legend

Pursuing our Personal Legends requires commitment, even devotion. If we keep putting our dreams on the back burner, we’re not committed and probably won’t achieve them.

To commit to your dreams, you can start by writing them down and reading them daily. You can also create a vision board and even visualize them. Most importantly, make room for them in your life. If you feel curious about salsa dancing, take a class. If you love animals, why not volunteer at a shelter once a week? If you feel drawn to deserts, plan a trip to visit one.

My mom has always felt drawn to deserts. She asked for a travel book with beautiful images of deserts around the world for Christmas, collects silk scarfs, and has photos of Northern Africa all over her office’s wall. But she never went on a trip to see one with her own eyes. “It’s too complicated,” she’d explain. “It’s too far.” A portion of her Personal Legend will die within her, and it’s a bit sad.

4. Rely On Your Inner Knowing

Perhaps you’ve heard the saying, “The quickest way to kill a dream is to tell a small-minded person about it.” Until you’re entirely confident in your ability to make your dream come true, it’s best to keep it to yourself or, at least, only share it with those you know will support you.

Especially don’t share your dream just to seek validation. When you seek validation, you aren’t entirely confident in yourself, and it’s in those moments that your vision is the most at risk of being crushed by “small-minded people” or people who don’t understand what you’re trying to accomplish.

Plus, no one knows what your Personal Legend is better than you, so their opinion should hold very little value. Learn to trust your own inner knowing and not rely on external validation.

5. Feel the Fear and Go for It Anyway

Paulo Coelho wrote in The Alchemist, “Don’t give in to your fears. If you do, you won’t be able to follow your heart. […] There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.”

When you set out to live your Personal Legend, you inevitably encounter resistance—fears, doubts, and insecurities—that can sabotage your progress and success. That’s because living your Personal Legend requires you to step into the unknown, which your ego sees as risky. Your ego’s job is to keep you safe, meaning within the confines of what’s known and habitual. You need to be stronger than your ego. Feel the fear, take a deep breath, smile, and go for it.

Here’s an effective way to remove the resistance caused by fear: visualize yourself having achieved your goal. Because your subconscious mind doesn’t differentiate what’s real from what you vividly imagine, you’ll trick it into believing that you’ve already done it. And, since you’re still alive, your ego will also think that it’s safe for you to pursue that dream, and it won’t cause as much resistance.

Your heart-centered dreams aren’t childish fantasies; they are guiding you to living your Personal Legend, your life purpose. Dare to pursue them! You’ll thank yourself for it when you get to the end of your life.

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Having belief in yourself is essential to success and happiness.

Your self-belief impacts how you think and feel. And the quality of your thoughts and feelings determines the quality of your life. Also, the more you believe in yourself and your abilities, the more you will try out in life.

But self-belief is also crucial for success. Especially during the most challenging times, you will need to persevere. But you will also need confidence in yourself and your abilities to get the job done.

In this article, you will learn how to believe in yourself. We will cover:

1. What does it mean to believe in yourself?
2. Why is it important to have self-belief?
3. And how to believe in yourself?

So let’s dive in!

What does it mean to believe in yourself?

Believing in yourself means that you have confidence in your abilities while maintaining a sense of self-worth. Confidence in this context means that you believe you can achieve anything that you set your mind to. Self-worth comes from having a positive outlook on your future and your ability to make positive changes in your life.

Why is it important to have self-belief?

Self-belief is essential for success in any area of your life. It is the foundation on which you build your confidence and determination. It gives you the courage to take on challenges, face difficult situations, and achieve your goals. 

Believing in yourself is especially important during times of adversity. How you think about and deal with setbacks determines your long-term outcome. 

Some of the key benefits:

1. Believing in yourself allows you to be proactive in your life.
2. It gives you the courage to take on new challenges.
3. Self-belief increases your determination, resilience, and persistence.
4. It gives you a positive outlook on life and a sense of self-worth.

How to believe in yourself?

The goal of developing self-belief is to establish a positive relationship with yourself. In short, you can split it up into three separate areas:

1. Self-worth: Start by recognizing and accepting that you are a valuable and unique individual. Own your successes and failures, and don’t be afraid to be proud of yourself.
2. Self-Confidence: Confidence comes from having a positive attitude and having faith in your capabilities. This enables you to take massive action and calculated risks.
3. Self-trust: Trusting yourself enables you to make decisions without the need for anyone else’s approval. That way, you can live your life according to your values and beliefs.

And here are the exact 7 steps to achieve self-belief:

Step 1: Accept the current situation

You cannot change the past. You can only change the future by making the best possible decisions right now. This requires you to accept the current situation and focus on the positives. What goes well for you?

During times of adversity, we tend to focus too much on the negative parts. But you can always find something positive – even if that’s merely a lesson that you’ve learned.

“If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves.” –Thomas Alva Edison

Step 2: Clarify your goals

Set realistic goals that are both achievable and challenging. Make sure you are willing to work for them so that once you achieve your goals, it gives you a lot of satisfaction. It builds confidence and trust in yourself. Please note that it is crucial to set challenging yet realistic goals.

Step 3: Set a deadline

Deadlines provide motivation and help you to stay focused. Set a deadline, and don’t let yourself off the hook. Achieving your goal within the deadline proves that you are capable of reaching your goals.

If you miss your deadline, don’t beat yourself up. You may feel tempted to give up, but remember that failures are only stepping stones towards success. Instead, try to understand what happened and then set a new goal. 

Pick yourself up and try again.

Step 4: Take action

The only way to believe in yourself is to follow through on your commitments. And doing so requires action. So, create a plan of action for yourself and stick to it. 

I love to set daily and weekly micro-goals to reduce procrastination. Such goals focus on actions – not results. Because while outcome goals aren’t always within your control, process goals certainly are.

For example, instead of saying you will create a blog post today, I set the goal to spend 2 hours writing. And while the blog post sometimes takes a bit longer, how much time I spend on it is in my immediate control.

Breaking your goal up into small steps also encourages actions. And achieving these smaller goals is also a great way to build self-trust and confidence.

Step 5: Visualize your success

Imagine achieving your goals and how proud you will feel of yourself. It’s a simple method but has proven to be very effective. Simply imagining your success increases your self-belief, which boosts your motivation. That increases the chances of you taking action. And taking action is the secret sauce to success. 

Step 6: Stay positive

Self-belief stems from a positive attitude. You will experience challenging times but do not let the negatives drag you down. Keep in mind that you’re making progress as long as you take action and learn from your mistakes. So, even if your life doesn’t map out as planned – which it rarely does – do know that things will work out. So, keep focusing on the good things in your life.

Step 7: Celebrate your smallest achievements

You need evidence to create self-confidence and a strong belief in yourself. So when you do achieve your goals, make sure to take a moment to reflect on and celebrate your success. It’s simple to do and doesn’t take a lot of time, yet that’s also why it’s so easily forgotten.

Closing thoughts

Take action on the steps in this article and you will develop a strong belief in yourself. But action is the keyword here. 

So first, no matter what you want to achieve, set a small goal in that area. Then, prove to yourself that you can achieve that goal. And then set subsequent ones and repeat the process.

It’s a simple formula. Yet, most people tend to give up when setbacks occur. Not you, though. When you experience setbacks and want to give up, start from step one and repeat the process. That will build rock-solid self-belief.

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Yoga philosophy states that much of our suffering and sadness is created by our attachment to material things, the people around us, and even our internal thoughts and feelings.  We suffer when the things we are attached to invariably change or leave us. The stronger and more intense our attachments are, the greater the pain and suffering we experience. If we can soften, dissipate, or remove our attachments, we can free ourselves from much of our suffering and discontent. The practice of detachment in yoga is called vairagya. We can incorporate detachment in our asana practice, as well as when we are off our yoga mats and out in the world.

Kama (desire) is a natural expression of being human and an essential ingredient for starting a yoga practice. Kama motivates us to get on our yoga mats and to do the work to advance in our practice. But our desires also create disharmony in the mind, which in turn, produces unnecessary psychological suffering. To reduce (and eventually eliminate) kama, the ancient yogis created the practice of vairagya.

“There is verily no sword more powerful than vairagya to cut off all sorts of attachment to this world. Hold this sword in your hand and march along in the spiritual path. You will safely reach the goal.” — Sri Swami Sivananda

What is Vairagya?

Vairagya is a Sanskrit word that translates as “detachment” or “dispassion.” In Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras (1:15), the essence of vairagya is described as: “Dispassion is the conscious mastery of the control of desire for objects seen, perceived or heard.” True vairagya means detachment or letting go of everything that belongs to the materialistic world, including attachment to material things, emotions, thoughts, ideas, beliefs, etc. Essentially, vairagya is a deeper, conscious and more subtle practice of “not giving a damn.”

While often associated with cave-dwelling renunciates, this conscious removal of emotional and mental reactions is beneficial and important for all levels of yogis to practice. Detachment from desire clears out clutter from our consciousness and thus allows us to experience greater levels of peace and tranquility.

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Although losing weight can be a challenge, many people find that the toughest aspect of weight loss is preventing those pounds from creeping back. According to one meta-analysis, more than half of lost weight is regained within two years, and by five years, that number zooms up to 80%.

So, what are those who are successful in keeping the weight off doing right? A new study in the journal Obesity reveals their top strategies.

Researchers surveyed more than 6,000 participants in a weight-loss program WW who had lost more than 50 pounds and kept it off for over three years. Answering questions about their motivations and tactics, these were the most cited tips. Keep reading to find out how to keep those extra pounds off, then check out Eating Habits to Lose Abdominal Fat As You Age, Say Dietitians.

Perseverance was the biggest theme in the survey responses, and also a key method for dealing with inevitable setbacks, according to lead researcher Suzanne Phelan, PhD, in the department of kinesiology and public health at California Polytechnic State University. By having a long-term view, it was much easier to restart quickly instead of giving up the effort to maintain control over consumption levels, she says.

For nearly everyone who was successful in maintaining their weight loss, tracking food had become a daily habit, even after hitting their “goal weight.” One maintainer advised, “You have to get up every day and make a choice to track and eat right. This is a lifestyle change, not a diet.”6254a4d1642c605c54bf1cab17d50f1e

Another notable strategy is not to think about weight at all as a primary motivator. Weight loss maintainers noted that the most important changes were “non-scale victories” like reduced pain, better control of chronic medical conditions, feeling a greater sense of confidence as well as more ease in their bodies, and having more consistent energy and lighter moods.

As one maintainer noted, “Think of changing your eating habits as part of creating a healthy lifestyle.” That means weight loss comes as a result, or even a side effect, of that shift instead of being the main focus in itself. That also helps you pivot toward other healthy changes that have been shown to improve weight loss maintenance, like daily activity, quality sleep, and reduced stress.

For more on weight loss, check out 26 Worst Belly Fat Myths, According to Experts.

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What does it take to live a balanced life? Many people are trying to find themselves, but what is the best way of doing it? A healthy lifestyle can teach us many things about ourselves. Living a balanced life is important in order for us to find out our priorities and figure out who we are as individuals.

Here are five steps on how you can live a balanced life:

1. Start With Your Health And Fitness

What’s the point of living a healthy life if you’re stressing yourself out, cutting all of your hair off, and wearing black eyeliner 24/7? No one wants that because it doesn’t look good for anyone to be going around looking like they lost their best friend. The first step to living a balanced life is keeping your health and fitness in check. Be smart about your vices, a glass of red or disposable vapes every now and then is fine. Your body will feel the best it ever has if you maintain a healthy lifestyle by eating right, exercising, and drinking plenty of water.

2. Know That It’s Okay To Say No

Saying yes to everything will leave you stressed out and wondering why “life isn’t going the way you planned,” – which is especially true if you knew what your priorities were. It’s important to know when it’s the right time to say no and take a break from whatever it is you’re doing. This will help increase your effectiveness and concentration at the task or work at hand, whether it’s a personal project or a school assignment.

3. Set Goals To Be Driven By Motivation

The most successful people in the world have something in common: they know what they want and are driven by their desires to obtain them. What is it that you want? Do you want to be a doctor, an artist? Knowing what you want in life will help you work towards achieving your goal. Not having set goals limits your motivation and how far you actually go with your ambitions.

4. Identify Your Strengths And Weaknesses

Some people are naturally good at a lot of things, while others can’t seem to get a grip on one specific thing. We all have our strengths and weaknesses, but figure out what you’re best at and stick with it or improve in it little by little if you want to make it big in the future. This will help you become more focused and motivated when it comes to your goals. Also, it’ll make things a lot easier when working with other people on a project or task.

5. Take Care Of Yourself Mentally And Emotionally

This one is important because if you don’t have your mental health in check, then how can you say that you’re living a balanced life? It’s easy to get lost in what you’re doing, but it’s important that you have your emotions under control, especially when working with others. Being able to have an open mind and being patient is what can help you through any task or project.

In Closing

These are the five steps on how you can live a balanced life. Even if you’re having a busy day, with these steps, it’ll be easier to manage your time and focus on your priorities.

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It is every man’s worst nightmare. You fall asleep after a night out, and wake up to find yourself being accused of rape. Your life will be turned upside down whether the charges are dropped or you are convicted for this serious crime. The process can take months or even years, and if found guilty your future is bleak as a prison sentence may follow. However, you have rights according to the law so it is important to remember these steps if you have been wrongfully accused of rape:

Do Not Talk To The Police Or Anyone Else Without An Attorney Present

The most important thing is not to speak with the police or anyone else without having spoken with an attorney first. This may seem like common sense, but when someone has been accused of rape, it is easy for him or her to want to try and explain their behavior or side of the story to authorities to prove that they are innocent. However, this can often lead to more damaging information being released than would happen if you just stayed quiet about everything until your lawyer arrives at the police station. You need representation by someone who is experienced in handling these types of cases. According to an experienced Wichita Sex Crime Attorney, having a strong legal advocate to protect your interests can be the difference between being convicted or acquitted in a rape case.  Thus, make sure you get a hold of an attorney as quickly as possible.

Preserve All Evidence That Could Be Used To Prove Your Innocence

This includes everything from not throwing away or sharing any clothing that you might have worn at the time of the alleged rape to saving all of your electronic communications with the accuser. If a full investigation is conducted and it is discovered that no crime occurred, then having this type of evidence could be very helpful in helping you prove your innocence. If no crime ever occurred, you will need evidence of this to show the authorities so that your name can be cleared. The best thing to do is have a plan in place with your attorney so that if you are ever accused of rape, all of this evidence will be preserved and protected immediately.

Stay Calm And Cool Despite What Is Happening

It is very easy to become hysterical, angry, and filled with rage when you are falsely accused of rape. It can be incredibly difficult to remain composed especially if you are just learning about the false accusations for the first time. However, the best thing that you can do is stay calm and try your best not to act out in any way that could be construed as giving consent. If something like this happens again in the future, it will be easier for you to prove your innocence if you were able to show how collected and innocent you truly were during these types of situations. This makes it impossible for anyone (both on the police side and the legal side) to make claims against you.

Keep A Journal

Even though this is one of the most challenging times in someone’s life, it might be a good idea to try and document everything that is happening throughout this process. This could mean keeping track of all your conversations with different attorneys or writing down how you are feeling about what has happened. If you keep an objective point of view when doing this, it will likely make it easier for you to handle these types of cases in the future if they ever come up again. Jotting things down in a journal at least once per day may also help reduce stress levels significantly. Since rape accusations can often bring about feelings of unbearable anxiety, documenting each day with at least one sentence can go a long way when trying to stay sane during these cases.

Try Living Your Life As Normally As Possible

Even though it may seem impossible to go out and do things or interact with others during this time, the best thing that you can do is continue to live your life as normally as possible. This means going to work or school, eating meals at home with your family, interacting with them on social media, etc. The more you act as nothing has happened, the better it will be for you in showing that no crime ever occurred. Even if the accuser claims that there was a penetration of any kind, having solid alibis or evidence otherwise will make it easier for you to protect yourself against these types of allegations.

Going through an accusation of rape can be one of the most frightening and stressful things that you ever have to go through. While it is important to use the above steps if you are falsely accused, it is equally important not to panic or get too stressed out either. By simply remaining collected and calm throughout the entire process, it will be much easier for you to defend yourself against this type of allegation. Just make sure you have a good lawyer on your side so that you can get through this process without any major problems.

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“Comparison is the death of joy.”
Mark Twain

“When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everybody will respect you.”
Lao Tzu

One of the most common and destructive daily habit is to constantly compare your life and yourself to other people and their lives.

You compare cars, houses, jobs, shoes, money, relationships, social popularity and so on.

And at the end of the day you pummel your self-esteem to the ground and you create a lot of negative feelings within. And perhaps also outside of yourself.

So what can you do? How can you get a handle on this habit?

Well, today I’d like to share 3 steps that have helped me to move away from this – it does take some time though so be patient with yourself – and towards a healthier outlook and view of myself and life.

Step 1: Just realize that you can’t win if you compare yourself to others.

Just consciously realizing this is helpful.

No matter what you do you can pretty much always find someone else in the world that has more than you or is better than you at something.

Yes, you may feel good for a while when you get a nicer car than your neighbor.

But a week or two later you’ll see someone from the next block with an even finer car than yours.

Step 2: Compare yourself to yourself.

Instead of comparing yourself to other people create the habit of comparing yourself to yourself.

See how much you have grown, what you have achieved and what progress you have made towards your goals.

This habit has the benefit of creating gratitude, appreciation and kindness towards yourself as you observe how far you have come, the obstacles you have overcome and the good stuff you have done.

You feel good about yourself without having to think less of other people.

You can make this habit stick by for instance taking a few minutes each day or just each Sunday (or any day that fits you) to use a journal to write down how you have grown, how much closer you are to your dreams and goals now and what you have overcome and learned.

By doing so your thinking will over time shift and your thought patterns will automatically become more focused on comparing you to you rather than to other people.

Step 3: Be kinder towards other people.

In my experience, the way you behave and think towards others seems to have a big effect on how you behave towards yourself and think about yourself.

Judge and criticize people more and you tend to judge and criticize yourself more (often almost automatically).

Be kinder to other people and help them and you tend to be kinder and more helpful to yourself.

So focus your mind on helping people and being kind.

Focus on the positive things in yourself and in the people around you.

And appreciate what is positive in yourself and in others.

This way you become more OK with yourself and the people in your world instead of ranking them and yourself in your mind.

You are OK and so are they.

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One of the best set-it-and-forget-it meal prep saviors of all the kitchen appliances, the slow cooker has a kitschy vibe now.

Your mom had it right when she dumped ingredients in the slow cooker and let them simmer all day.

There’s no meal more comforting on a cool night than slow cooker soup — but there are a few tips and tricks to getting it just right.

Low and slow is the idea. It’s in the name of the kitchen tool, after all. Learn how to bud nuanced flavors in a super-easy way with a slow cooker.

Just in time for soup season, here’s a step-by-step guide to making the best slow cooker soup.

How to Make a Healthy Slow Cooker Soup

“Soup can be made into a hearty, balanced meal that is sure to satisfy,” says Krista Maguire, R.D., C.S.S.D., and Beachbody nutrition manager.

“In addition to loads of veggies, add a protein like chicken or beans and a starchy veggie like sweet potato or whole grains like quinoa,” she adds.

Add dairy-free creaminess and thickness to a healthy slow cooker soup by pureeing beans, potatoes, or a slice of day-old bread with broth or full-fat coconut milk.

You can also combine water and nutritional yeast with pureed-until-smooth cashews.

Steer clear of granulated stock powders or cubes — many contain monosodium glutamate, artificial colors, and hydrogenated oils.

Opt for low-sodium, all-natural stocks or bone broths.

Ready to get cooking? Follow these steps for slow cooker soup success!

1. Brown meats first to deepen flavor

Yes, it’s an extra step, but this adds tons of flavor. Sear all sides of the meat before you add it to the slow cooker, then let it simmer.

2. Use less liquid

Revamping a stovetop soup recipe? Use less liquid, since it evaporates less when simmering in a slow cooker, thanks to the tight-fitting lid.

Cover the ingredients with broth, water, or your liquid of choice by a scant ¼-inch.

3. Bump up the plants

A little bit of meat can go a long way to add flavor and protein. Bulk up the soup with added veggies in every color. (You can also add legumes and whole grains.)

Soup is a great way to get more vegetables into your day.

4. Trim most visible fat from meat

There’s nowhere for the fat to go in a slow cooker (and it can’t be easily drained off like it can on the stove), so cut it off before cooking.

Otherwise, you’ll end up with pools of fat in your soup — not good eats.

5. Skip the oil

Unlike stovetop soup methods, you don’t need to add oil to the slow cooker pot. Nothing will stick!

6. Don’t overfill the pot

Three-quarters full is the maximum, but two-thirds is ideal. If you fill the pot too high, it could leak or cook inconsistently.

7. Thicken in two steps

The liquid in your slow cooker doesn’t get hot enough to reduce or thicken, so if you don’t want a thin soup, you’ll need to add a thickening agent.

Use any type of flour or a starch like tapioca or arrowroot.

Combine one tablespoon of flour or starch per one cup of liquid, whisk until smooth, then stir into the soup and simmer.

8. Use cheaper cuts of meat

Tough, leaner cuts love the long, slow, gentle simmering of a slow cooker.

It breaks down any sinewy bits, transforming them into melt-in-your-mouth tender savoriness.

Don’t splurge on filets or lobster tails for a slow-simmered soup.

9. Cook low and slow

Cook soups on low to develop the most flavor. If you’re pressed for time, you can cook them on a higher setting but make sure to halve the cooking time.

10. Cut veggies roughly the same size

Cutting each vegetable uniformly will help them cook evenly. To prevent vegetables from getting too mushy, avoid cooking them for many hours on high heat.

Add softer or quicker-cooking veggies like zucchini and summer squash in the last hour.

11. Let the slow cooker do its thing

Every time you open the lid, you release heat, so resist the urge to peek. Set it up and walk away.

This cooking method is meant to save you time, so let it do the work for you!

How to Layer Slow Cooker Soup Ingredients

Place the ingredients that require the longest cooking time at the bottom of the pot, closest to the heat source.

Here’s a basic guide if you’re creating your own slow cooker soup recipes.

Add these ingredients at the beginning:

• Uncooked vegetables: Add root vegetables (potatoes, turnips, carrots) on the bottom, followed by onions, shallots, or leeks.
• Uncooked, rinsed, or soaked beans: Dried beans take 3–4 hours to cook on high, and 6–8 hours to cook on low in the slow cooker, says Kalyn Denny, a food blogger at Kalyn’s Kitchen and home cook.
• Broth, stock, water, coconut milk: The liquid is what makes things a soup, after all.
• Uncooked meats: If you have time to brown meat, great. Exceptions include chicken or turkey breast, fish, and shellfish.
• Cheese rinds: An old Italian cook’s tip, add Parmesan or Romano cheese rinds to impart a nutty, salty flavor. Discard any remaining rind before serving.

Add these in the last 15–45 minutes of cooking:

• Meats and seafood that don’t take long to cook, such as chicken breast (sliced or cut), fish, or shellfish. Add chicken breast in the last 25–30 minutes of cooking.
• Dried lentils only take about 30–40 minutes of simmering to cook through, notes Nagi Maehashi, the cook and creator of RecipeTin Eats. Use red, yellow, brown, and green lentils but not Puy lentils, as they don’t soften as well as the others, she says.
• Fresh delicate herbs like basil, mint, or tarragon: Ladle the soup into serving bowls and sprinkle with torn fresh herbs for a bright pop of color and flavor.
• Hearty fresh herbs like rosemary, oregano, parsley, celery leaves, beet greens, etc.: Add during the last 15–20 minutes, particularly with rosemary, which can get bitter when cooked for too long, says Emma Christensen, a food writer and graduate of the Cambridge School for Culinary Arts.
• Thickening agents: Add when the soup has finished cooking. Stir it in, replace the lid, and warm for a few minutes, then serve.
• Already-cooked ingredients: Add cooked grains in the last 15–20 minutes of cooking. Stir in leftovers like cooked pasta in the last 10 minutes.
• Quick-cooking ingredients: Add dried pasta, quinoa, and starchy or frozen veggies during the last 15 minutes.
• Dairy: Stir in reduced-fat Greek yogurt or reduced-fat sour cream in the last 5 minutes to avoid curdling.

Looking for more expert nutrition information? Head over to BODNutrition.com and learn how to eat healthy for the long-term with the help of our two nutrition programs, 2B Mindset and Portion Fix.

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A healthy, loving relationship is a wonderful thing —there’s much to be said about the psychological and even physical benefits of knowing that someone loves you. Yet, relationships are commitments, and any commitment will require some degree of sacrifice, whether that be a reassessment of your priorities, a reevaluation of your self-worth, or placing the needs of your partner before your own.

The truth is that we owe it to our future partners to be fully prepared for a relationship before getting ourselves involved in one. We cannot make it another person’s responsibility to lift us up because we would be dragging them down, which is not what love is.  

So, before you commit to a serious relationship, here are some essential bits of self-improvement you should attend to first that will make you a better partner in the future.

1. Learn to Enjoy Your Own Company

This may seem counterintuitive, but you must learn to enjoy yourself before entering a relationship, even while you are alone. Not being comfortable by yourself will inevitably lead to anxiety and neediness when you eventually do find yourself in a relationship, which will only serve to push your partner away and may even breed feelings of resentment towards them.

To better appreciate ourselves, we must explore our interests, find hobbies that we enjoy and things that we are passionate about. This will help you understand what makes you unique and allow you to bring something to the table when it comes to your future relationship. Therefore, your reasons for being with your partner will stem from genuine love rather than a need to fill an emptiness within yourself.

2. Resist the Urge to Entertain Feelings of Jealousy

Jealousy is a demon we all struggle with; it can come up in every aspect of our lives. Learning to manage our feelings of jealousy is an invaluable skill whether we’re talking about romantic relationships, friendships, or even careers. 

In our romantic relationships, extreme cases of jealousy can lead us to become possessive, as we desperately attempt to guard what we perceive as ours from threats —real or imagined. We might force our partners to give us access to their phones, forbid them from forming friendships with people we deem threats, and live in a constant state of paranoia that somehow they are disloyal.

By giving in to our jealousy, all we are doing is helping to bring about what we fear most. Rather than allowing ourselves to be overcome by feelings of jealousy, we must take the more difficult path of learning not to begrudge others for their good fortune and to trust our partners.

“You are essentially who you create yourself to be, and all that occurs in your life is the result of your own making.” ― Stephen Richards

3. Practice Coping Mechanisms For Stressful Situations

When we love someone, an important part of that love is the desire to protect them. On the other hand, lashing out at even those closest to us can be an involuntary and impulsive response when we find ourselves stressed out. If you’re constantly taking out your frustrations on your partner, you’ll have only yourself to blame when they say enough is enough.

The measure of our capacity to love is not determined by how we act when the weather is fair, but by how we are in the darkest moments of our lives. Two ways come to mind for learning to love when we’re stressed and loving is hardest: the first is to gain an understanding of our flaws and harmful tendencies when under pressure, and the second is to learn how to relieve the build-up of stress and pressure before it becomes an issue.

The first method is undoubtedly essential —as it’s impossible to go through life without encountering some form of challenge that will take us to the breaking point. But, getting a good grip on the behaviors we should avoid is usually a process of trial and error and self-reflection after the fact. It is a lifelong process and not something any of us will perfect before getting into a relationship.

So, to be more loving partners, we can learn how to destress so we don’t get to the point where we’re lashing out unconsciously. A workout or a yoga session, a stroll through the park, or simply a brief diary entry at the end of the day are all healthy ways to relax —find something that works for you.

4. Check Your Baggage at the Door

Yes, you are a strong person. But, despite your own potential beliefs to the contrary, your baggage: prior relationships —traumatic experiences in particular— will have a significant impact on your future relationships.

Overcoming past trauma is rarely straightforward. Even if you’re able to identify what past events are impacting your current ability to connect emotionally, it can still be really difficult to make the conscious decision not to let them influence your feelings and actions.

Perhaps you’re still in the midst of your recovery; some pain never really goes away —our capacity to bear it merely increases. But, the consciousness of your baggage is the first and most important step toward becoming a better person for your partner and creating a healthy relationship.

5. Learn to Communicate Sincerely

Most of the relationship advice listed above is just as helpful for success outside of relationships. The information below is no exception.

No relationship is going to be smooth sailing to the horizon, and no couple lives “happily ever after, full stop.” When a relationship becomes so difficult that you feel like cutting your losses and calling it quits, don’t. These are the situations where what we want to communicate is often too difficult or too painful for us to comprehend fully, and so we feel the urge to give up and withdraw, or worse, to fight back and cause harm with our words.

A strong, long-term relationship has to be built on a foundation of sincere communication where both parties feel safe in freely expressing their desires, needs, and apprehensions without fear of reprisal or belittlement. A failure to communicate will only lead to more and more drastic misunderstandings between partners. 

Being able to express yourself freely without fear of judgment is an amazing feeling and is necessary to a firm foundation for any relationship, not just romantic ones.

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