Bad habits can be tough to break. Whether it’s procrastination, overeating, or any number of other unhealthy behaviors, old habits can die hard. But it is possible to change your ways and start fresh with a new leaf. Here are some tips on how to turn over a new leaf and leave your old habits behind.

Set Realistic Goals

When trying to break a bad habit, it’s important to set achievable goals. Breaking old habits can be tough, but setting realistic goals is a great way to start. Trying to go cold turkey may not be realistic, and could set you up for failure. If you’re trying to quit smoking, for example, set a goal to smoke fewer cigarettes each day until you’re able to stop completely. Similarly, if you’re trying to cut back on drinking, set a goal to drink only on special occasions or weekends. If your drinking has become problematic, seeking treatment to change this detrimental habit is also a realistic goal. It takes realization, acceptance, and courage to undergo rehabilitation and treatment for substance abuse and problematic habits that lead to addiction.

Small changes like these will help you break old habits and develop new, healthier ones.

Create A Support System

One of the best ways to turn over a new leaf and leave your old habits behind is to create a support system for yourself. Making lasting changes in your life can be tough, especially if you’re trying to do it alone. But one of the best ways to increase your chances of success is to create a supportive network of family and friends who will encourage and motivate you along the way.

Think about the people in your life who are most likely to offer helpful advice and encouragement – these are the people you should turn to when you’re ready to make a change. If you don’t have anyone in mind, consider joining a support group or online community dedicated to helping others achieve their goals.

Find An Alternative Activity

When you’re trying to break a bad habit, it’s important to find an alternative activity to replace the one that you’re trying to give up. This will help occupy your time and give you a positive outlet for the energy and emotions that you would normally invest in your bad habit.

Some ideas for alternative activities include:

• Exercise
• Spending time with friends or family
• Pursuing a hobby
• Organizing your home or workspace
• Reading

Identify Your Triggers

In order to successfully break a bad habit, you need to be aware of the things that trigger your urge to engage in the behavior. Once you know what these triggers are, you can develop strategies for avoiding or coping with them.

Some common triggers for bad habits include:

• Boredom
• Stress
• Anxiety
• Depression
• Tiredness
• Hunger

Whatever your triggers are, it’s important to be aware of them so that you can avoid them or find alternative ways of dealing with them. If you can’t avoid them, try to find a way to deal with them that doesn’t involve your old habit.

Be Patient With Yourself

You’re trying to change your ways, but it’s tough to go about it. Every time you slip up, you feel like a failure. Maybe you’re trying to quit smoking or cut down on drinking, or finally start that exercise regime. Whatever it is, it’s hard to break a habit – especially if you’ve been doing it for a long time.

It takes time to break old habits and create new ones. Beating yourself up for setbacks will only make it harder to reach your goal. When you do slip up, don’t get discouraged. Just pick yourself up and keep going to get back on track as soon as possible.

Reward Yourself For Progress

When you’re trying to break a bad habit, it’s important to celebrate your successes, no matter how small. When you reward yourself for making progress, it will help motivate you to keep going and eventually kick the habit for good. Here are some ideas for how you can reward yourself:

• Take a break – Give yourself permission to take a break from your usual routine when you reach a milestone in your journey. Whether it’s taking a long bath, watching your favorite movie, or indulging in your favorite comfort food, allow yourself to enjoy something special that you wouldn’t normally allow yourself to do.
• Buy yourself something nice – Sometimes, material things can be just the motivation you need to stay on track. When you reach a goal, treat yourself to something you’ve been wanting, like a new book, piece of jewelry, or article of clothing.
• Do something for yourself – Take some time to relax and rejuvenate. Get a massage, take a yoga class, or go for a nature walk. Doing something that makes you feel good will help keep you motivated to continue working towards your goals.
• Spend time with loved ones – One of the best ways to reward yourself is by spending time with the people you love. Whether it’s going out to dinner with friends or taking your family on vacation, surround yourself with those who make you happy and who support your efforts to turn over a new leaf.

Bad habits can be tough to break, but it is possible to change your ways and start fresh with a new leaf. By setting realistic goals, creating a support system, finding an alternative activity, and being patient with yourself, you can slowly but surely leave your old habits behind. Reward yourself for progress along the way to help keep you motivated!

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Every success story is riddled with trials, triumph, and tragedy. The ability to overcome these barriers is what makes them so appealing. From the small startup disrupting the industry giants to a small platoon battling a massive army. In these moments our character is tested, and our resolve built.

When it seems like there’s nowhere to go is when the fiercest battles take place in our mind, body, and spirit. The ones who triumph are forever remembered in history, and the rest are forgotten.

So what’s the difference between these titans and the average person?

It’s not social standing, stature, or even wealth. The determining factor that separates the haves from the have-nots is their grit and determination. In one word, perseverance. Grit is the quality that keeps us moving forward in a sea of turmoil, facing a tidal wave of doubt, we batten down the hatches and weather the storm.

Sticking to the plan when most have already walked away. Working alone, silently, without pay, and without recognition. It’s this quality that makes us bend but not break. We wag our fingers in defiance of the odds, shattering the alleged barriers of reality.

Forever pushing the limits of what’s possible, creating new horizons and blazing our name on new frontiers. It’s this quality that makes the finest men and women of history seem like gods amongst mortals.

Either placed in these situations by choice or by circumstance, this is when we shine the brightest. The ability to hold ourselves to a different standard and not settling for mediocrity. Forever striving for success in an unrelenting fashion, knowing that failure is not a permanent condition, but a temporary inconvenience.

It’s this self-accountability and awareness to recognize that nothing worth having comes easy. Risking it all while showing up and performing every single day without any loss of enthusiasm.

“Fortune favors the brave.” – Publius Terence

Rise to the occasion

The crew of the Essex knows this quality all too well. When placed between a rock and a hard place they chose to rise to the occasion. This incredible tale is the inspiration for Herman Melville’s Moby Dick and a true story of perseverance and the fighting spirit.

The Essex was a whaling ship from Nantucket, Massachusetts piloted by Captain Pollard and his 20 men in the 1800’s. During their whaling expedition, the ship was rammed by a sperm whale sinking it.

This left Captain Pollard and the crew fending for their lives on three small rescue boats hundreds of miles away from civilization with no land in sight. With little provisions, much of the Essex crew did what they could to fight off starvation and dehydration. Sadly, much of the crew perished due to these abysmal conditions, but the survivors did not lose hope.

With such a dire situation most would succumb to the circumstances, but Captain Pollard kept his resolve and encouraged his men. After weeks at sea, the remaining survivors eventually resorted to cannibalism doing anything necessary to fight off death.

Surviving long enough for a passing ship to rescue them the survivors were found delirious, starved, and a shadow of their former selves. Eventually, the surviving crew returned to Nantucket, Massachusetts to their family where they tried to forget the horrors of the ocean.

Fighting seemingly insurmountable odds in a literal sea of despair is why the Essex survivors will forever be remembered. Their courage and ability to endure the agony of hopelessness is a quality we should all strive to obtain.

“Being challenged in life is inevitable, being defeated is optional.” – Roger Crawford

Learn to fight adversity

Luckily for us, we are not in life and death circumstances, but many times we are too easily discouraged at the first sign of resistance. Unable to say no, stand up, and do what is necessary in the face of adversity. We must learn to channel our inner survivor and fight off these obstacles with the tenacity of a prize fighter.

To do otherwise would be selling ourselves short and conforming to the reality that society has placed on us. Rather than living on our knees let’s die on our feet knowing that at the end of the day we gave life everything we had. Leaving no stone unturned forever pushing past our comfort zones.

We must realize that life is a bold adventure and to take advantage we have to keep throwing things against the wall knowing that eventually, something will stick. Everyone thinks that there’s such a thing as overnight success, but its years in the making. Let’s make the commitment to strengthen our resolve because if we never quit, we cannot fail.

How have you been able to turn tragedy into triumph? Leave your experiences below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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“Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do.”
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

“Don’t wait. The time will never be just right.”
Napoleon Hill

What makes dreams into reality?

I believe that perhaps the most important – and an often ignored – thing is simply taking action.

I used to be really bad at it when I was younger.

Back then I usually got stuck.

I got stuck in my dreams about what I wanted to do.

I got stuck in analysis paralysis due to my habit of overthinking things. I got stuck in procrastination and in pessimism.

Things have changed a lot since then though. I have added many new habits that help me to take much more action than I used to.

I hope this week’s article will help you to do the same.

1. Get your day off to a great start by doing the most important thing.

I first learned about this about 20 years ago when I used to sell computers.

The boss told us that if we took care of the most important task of the day – often one of the more difficult ones too – right away in the morning the rest of the day would be a lot easier and lighter.

He was right about that.

When that first and most important task is done you don’t have to worry about it. It won’t weigh down on your day. You feel good about yourself.

And you’ll have less inner resistance to taking action for the rest of the day.

2. Just take responsibility for your actions and the process.

I love this quote from the ancient Sanskrit Hindu scripture Bhagavad Gita:

“To action alone hast thou a right and never at all to its fruits; let not the fruits of action be thy motive; neither let there be in thee any attachment to inaction.”

Why?

Because every time I look at it or remind myself of it I feel a sort of freedom and relief.

This quote reminds me to understand that I cannot control the results of my action. I can’t control how someone reacts to what I say or what I do.

It reminds me that it usually works better for me to stay motivated to keep doing what I do if I do something I really like doing.

Basically, I do what I think is right and that is my responsibility. And then the rest (the possible results), well, that is not up to me to decide about or try to control.

I let it go.

Taking action becomes a so much lighter activity when you only have to take responsibility for doing what you think is right.

3. Don’t feel like doing it? Start small.

Getting the most important thing done first thing in your day and setting yourself up for an action-packed day sounds great in theory.

But in reality you will have unmotivated days.

Days when you feel emotionally low or when you are confronted with having to do something you don’t want to do.

That’s life. But no reason to let that sink your day into inaction and feeling sorry for yourself.

I have found that the best thing for these situations is to start very small. To just…

• Write for 1-2 minutes.
• Lift free weights for just a few repetitions.
• Spend 1 minute with getting started on something that scares me.

After that I have the choice to go do something else.

But I seldom do.

I just need an easy way to get started and then, when I am in motion, I usually continue taking action for a while longer.

4. Don’t hurt yourself.

This is a powerful motivator for me to grow and to become a better person.

If I don’t do what I deep down think is the right thing to do then I hurt myself and my self-esteem. What I do – or do not do – during my day sends powerful signals back to me about what kind of person I am.

There is no escaping yourself. And there is always a price to pay when you don’t do what you think is the right thing.

5. A reminder for focus.

If you don’t remind yourself often about what you need to focus on and why you are doing it then it is easy to let days slip away or to spend too much time on less important things.

So create a a simple reminder on a piece of paper. On it you can for example write down:

• Your top 3 priorities in life right now.
• Your most important goal or new habit for the next 30 days.
• A motto or quote you want to stay focused on and live by at this time in your life.

6. Stay accountable to the people in your life.

An accountability buddy can help you to stay on track and to keep taking action towards your goal or dream even when the initial enthusiasm has dissipated.

For example, many of you as readers help me to stay accountable to provide helpful content. I get feedback all the time about if I do things in a helpful or less helpful way. I get a ton of encouragement.

People closer to me in my life help me to stay accountable to for instance not eating too much unhealthy stuff, to working out and to not working too much.

Find someone in real life or online who wants to get in better shape too. Or start a business online. Motivate each other.

Keep each other accountable so you take action and take steps forward each week.

7. Cycle fully focused work and fully relaxing rest.

Get your kitchen timer or access the stop-watch function on your cellphone.

Set the timer for 45 minutes. During those minutes just work on your most important task/small step forward. Nothing else. No distractions.

After those 45 minutes are up, take a relaxing break.

Distract yourself on Facebook if you like. Or step away from your work space and take a short walk, stretch or go for an apple for the next 15 minutes.

By working these fully focused periods of time you’ll:

• Get more done and do work of higher quality.
• Be able to concentrate for a longer time in your day and week and get less tired.
• Train yourself to focus on one thing at time, instead of getting stuck in your mind between work and relaxation and building up friction and stress within.
• Be able to enjoy your rest periods without a guilty conscience.

45 minutes of work too much?

Try 25 minutes instead.

Procrastinating half-way into your 25 minute period?

Set the timer for 10 or 5 minutes and build up the time that you can fully focus on the work over the next few weeks and months.

8. Focus more on the how to and less on the what-ifs.

If your thoughts starts spinning as you are thinking about taking action then in your mind shout: STOP!

Don’t allow yourself to get stuck in the negative spiral of analysis paralysis.

Sure, it is smart to think before you act in many cases but overthinking things tends to become a way to try to control things you cannot control or to simply stay away from action because you are scared in some way.

After you have said stop to that train of thought open up your mind to what you CAN DO instead of all the things that could go wrong in the worst case scenario.

Ask yourself questions like:

• What is one small step I can take today to move forward towards my goal or out of this situation?
• What is one thing I can learn from this situation?

Write down the answers you come up with and take action on them.

9. People don’t care that much about what you do so don’t let that hold you back.

When I was younger I almost always let what people may have thought or said if I did something hold me back and I got stuck in inaction.

It was more of a self-centered than accurate belief.

In reality people have their own things going on in busy lives.

They think about the job, kids, a partner, the cat, a vacation, what to have for dinner and they worry about what you and other people may think about them.

You are probably not the main character in other people’s lives. Even if you are that in your own life.

A realization that can be a bit disappointing but something that can also can set you free from self-imposed bonds.

10. Tap into enthusiasm.

When you dream and when you get started with something new in life then the enthusiasm flows like a fountain.

A few weeks later it may have decreased quite a bit. Don’t let that lead you to quitting if you think this is something you want to continue doing.

Tap into enthusiasm in your surroundings instead.

• Let the enthusiasm of your accountability buddy flow of over to you and create a flow back to him or her by being enthusiastic about his or her goals and dreams.
• Listen to podcasts or audiobooks by inspiring people.
• Read blogs, websites and take courses that help you to get a dose of enthusiasm every week.
• Let the enthusiasm from friends, children or pets flow over to you.
• Listen to music and watch movies or Youtube-videos that increase your joy for life.

Bring the enthusiasm of the rest of the world into your life.

11. Add the fun.

Some tasks simply are boring or not much fun at all.

Then try this while you are doing them to add a bit of fun:

• Add some music that gives you energy and inspires you.
• Make it into a game where you compete with friend about who can finish something first or do the most amount of something in 10 or 30 minutes.

Change your perspective on what you are doing, lighten things up a bit and it tends to become quite a bit easier to take a lot of action on what you may have procrastinated on for some time.

12. Celebrate what you did today.

Take 2 minutes at the end of your day to think about, appreciate and celebrate what you have taken action on today. No matter how small the action may have been.

It will:

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This guy is worth it! 

If you find yourself saying this after years of failed relationships, one after another.

But this is the man for you, and you don’t want to screw it up.

Now that you’ve found that perfect connection and want to ensure it sticks, don’t fall victim to those same patterns of the relationships in your past. 

Bring these 21 most common turn-offs for guys into view so that this relationship is “the one” that lasts. 

What Is a Turn-Off?

A turn-off is hard to describe for most people, but generally, it’s that lack of connection, the feeling in a guy’s stomach that’s so intense he ends the relationship. 

Typically, this feeling stretches from some kind of action – a behavior their partner does frequently.

These things that turn guys off might seem normal and reasonable to you, but timing and balance are everything. 

Let’s be clear, you need to be yourself in a committed relationship, but some things that you are doing may need to change. 

21 Biggest Turn-Offs for Guys

So, what is the biggest turn-off that can send a guy running? Our list covers the common turn-offs that men have. The biggest one is up to your particular guy. As you read on, think, which of these are you doing? 

1. Being Critical about Everything

Sure, the world isn’t perfect, and neither is the guy you’re dating, but try to focus on the positive. Constant complaining about things a guy does or where you end up for dinner will leave him with a negative view of being around you. 

2. A Lack of Confidence

Being shy or not having an opinion of what you do is cute, sometimes. Constantly saying you don’t care, when you probably do or even if you really don’t, will leave a guy wondering if he’s doing things the right way. Let your voice be heard and express yourself. 

3. Wearing Your Pajamas All the Time

As nice as it is to be comfortable, guys love seeing you in your clothes and out of them. You don’t want to give off the lazy vibe by wearing your stained yoga pants every time you make dinner together or sit on the couch and watch Netflix.

4. Not Showering 

It’s not that you stink, but guys love the way women smell after getting out of the shower and the way women look when they get ready for the day. Cleanliness is attractive to guys and sends a message that you take care of yourself. 

5. Always Being the One to Initiate Sex 

Let’s be clear that it’s not all about sex, but it is one of those things guys love to talk about, and think about, constantly.

But, when you are always the one initiating it to keep him interested, it takes the excitement away. Take a few days off and let him pursue you. 

6. Giving Advice Instead of Listening 

When a guy has a problem he wants to talk about, he really wants you to listen. Don’t be so quick to tell him what you would do – giving off the vibe that you’re better than him. Allow him the space to talk it through. If he wants advice, he’ll ask. 

7. Telling Long Stories without a Pause 

Especially at the start of a relationship, it can be tempting to keep the conversation going by talking about every detail of a story. This one-sided conversation is a massive turn-off to guys. Your man might just start thinking about all the other things in his life while you’re going 90 mph. 

8. Staying the Night, Every Night 

Autonomy is essential in any relationship, especially when it’s new. Guys need some time to unwind without you around all the time. Too much time together will backfire at some point and leave your guy looking for a place to get away. 

9. Talking about Having Kids, or Not, Too Soon 

This is an important one in any relationship, but most guys are not one-sided when it comes to having kids.

This is something that you discuss more in-depth once you’re committed. Saying “my way or the highway” right from the beginning may just have that effect. 

10. A Lack of Spontaneity 

Being spontaneous is extremely attractive to guys. Being stuck in a routine and planning every moment is boring and predictable. You don’t have to go to bed right at nine every night. Let yourself be free from your own rules from time to time and have fun together. 

11. Not Being Honest 

Lies drive a knife through a relationship, no matter how small they are, time and time again. Be honest about your feelings and opinions.

It’s better to be honest and have a hard conversation with a guy than have him find out you were lying to him. Honest conversations usually strengthen relationships. 

12. Asking Too Many Questions 

Don’t start drilling your guy about his day and everything he thinks about to show care and support. Insert yourself into the conversation and blend that with questions. It’s not all about him, and it’s not all about you. 

13. Wanting to Do Something, All the Time 

Chill out from time to time. Don’t create a rigid social and events calendar for the two of you. Allow space to just be together with nothing to do.

Too much structure will make a guy feel like he’s at work, and even though a committed relationship takes work, it shouldn’t feel that way all the time. 

14. Telling Him All the Reasons You Don’t Like His Friends 

A guy’s friends are important to him, and he needs time with them. Support your man in having time with his friends and spend time with them together. If you make him choose, he might not choose you. 

15. Not Being Willing to “Go with the Flow” 

If you were planning on going to a dinner party and your guy wants to stay home, what’s really wrong with that? Can you break your plans and still spend quality time together?

Be willing to make space when he has a hard day at work or is not feeling well. Forcing what you have committed to will not start the night off well. 

More Related Articles

40 Indisputable Turn-Ons For Women And Men

159 Romantic Things To Do With the One You Love

19 Unambiguous Signs She Wants A Serious Relationship With You

16. Not Making Time for the Relationship 

This is a big one. A guy needs to know that you are into being with just him. Plan a fun trip for just the two of you or give a spontaneous present to him. Be fun. If you leave him wondering if you like him or not, he may go packing before taking the time to talk about it. 

17. Not Showing Interest in His Activities 

Guys define themselves by what they like to do. Support this. If, let’s say your guy is into basketball and you’ve always hated team sports, you don’t have to tell him that every time he mentions it.

Grab a ball on a nice day and go down to the park; let him show you how to play and enjoy spending time together. 

18. Telling Stories Through Your Phone 

Don’t be more into your phone than you are into the relationship. If every story you tell involves holding up a picture of someone else on social media or a trip you took somewhere, your guy will think that he’s not an important part of your life. You can talk about those things without showing him a picture of every detail. 

19. Texting Him Constantly 

It’s overbearing for a guy to hear from you all the time – he’ll feel like your checking up on him or trying to control him.

Give your phone a rest, or text someone else. Let there be some space in the day between messages, and watch how he reaches out for you.  

20. Being Too Clean or Too Messy 

Environment is important for well-being. A guy needs to feel like he can relax and not always have to pick up after himself.

On the flip side, if you’re too messy and there are piles of stuff everywhere, it seems like you’re lazy. Find your comfortable, happy middle-ground where you can relax too.  

21. Mom-ing Him 

Be careful not to make a guy draw a strong connection between you and his mom. If you tell him what he should constantly be doing or how he should act, he will push back at you, just like a teenager with their mom.

Let him have some independence in his decisions, and he may just ask for your input. 

Think for a few minutes after you’ve read this list of the biggest turn-offs for men. 

Are you doing any of these things? What would it be like to let go of them? 

Now that this common list of turn-offs for guys is in your awareness, you have the power to make a change. 

If your relationship is worth it, take the time to consider what you could do or not do to make sure it continues to bloom. 

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“To affect the quality of the day, that is the highest of arts.”
Henry David Thoreau

“Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant.”
Robert Louis Stevenson

Some days are great, better than you would have expected when you rolled out of the bed in the morning.

Quite a few days are just good and OK days.

And then we have the other ones. The days that just wind up being bad.

What do you do then? I used to let them drag me down and I often wound up having not just one but a couple of bad days because of whatever happened.

Nowadays I do things a bit differently. And this week I’d like to share how I do that.

Here’s 21 tips and habits that help me to turn a bad day around. Most of the time I use more than one of these habits to do that.

1. Breathe.

I usually start turning my day around with shaking things up by using my body in some way.

The first thing I almost always do is to just breathe. I breathe deeply through my nose by using my belly. I focus only on the air going in and out for 1-2 minutes.

This calms my body and mind.

2. Do a power pose.

Then I sometimes follow that up by striking what Amy Cuddy calls a power pose for about 2 minutes (check out her TED talk, it’s really good).

The simplest way to strike a power pose is to stand up confidently like Wonder Woman or Superman with your legs apart, head up and your hands on your hips.

It might sound odd but it can really change how you feel in a quick and positive way.

3. Work out.

Another habit I use several times a week to shake things up by using my body is to lift free weights in my home. I do this for about 30-40 minutes and it helps me to release tensions and worry.

And after I am done I feel more powerful, focused and energetic.

4. Hug.

Just by hugging someone quickly you can feel safer and more optimistic again.

And an embrace that lasts 30 seconds or a minute or more can recharge your batteries and release an unexpectedly large amount of stress and tensions.

5. Pet an animal.

If you don’t have anyone close by to hug during a bad day then pet your cat, dog, bird etc. It has a very similar calming and stress reliving effect.

And it makes your animal companion happy and that in turn will boost your mood too.

6. Find a new viewpoint.

The body tips above often work well to change my perspective by altering my emotional state and energy level.

Sometimes something more is needed though.

So I start looking more actively for a better and more helpful viewpoint on the situation at hand by asking myself a couple of questions.

Three of my most commonly used questions that help me with that are:

• Will this matter 5 years from now?
• Who cares?
• What is one small action, one small and practical step I can take to start turning this day or situation around?

7. Go out into nature and enjoy the summer.

Leave your couch or workspace for a little while.

Talk a walk and just soak in the summer sun and warmth. Enjoy the birds singing and the nature blossoming.

Just being out there in nature tends to make it easier to think optimistically again and to start looking for practical solutions or upsides.

Or you can simply be there in the moment fully and let your thoughts about for example work rest for a while (and then later on you can return to that with fresh eyes and a calmer mind).

Another upside is that the sunshine and exercise during this 20-30 minute pause in my day also recharges my energy.

8. Accept what is.

One thing that sometimes work better than just about anything is simply to accept what is at this moment.

To not deny or try to push away negative feelings or thoughts that show up. Even though you may feel an impulse to do so.

Instead, just accept what is right now.

The thoughts and feelings within you.

And just be with them fully and observe them flowing through you.

By doing so you are not giving up.

No, because when you accept what is then you stop feeding the negative thoughts in your mind with more energy. And so they become weaker.

They start to lose their grip on you after a while and then they float away. And so you feel more open and are able to think more clearly again.

9. If you made a mistake then don’t let your inner critic take over.

If you’re having a bad day because of a mistake you’ve made or a failure you’ve had then don’t let your inner critic take over.

Instead, as soon as you hear it start berating you in your mind with negative thoughts about you and your worth do this:

Say a stop phrase. In your mind, say or shout, something like: Stop!

Or: No, no, no we are not going down this road again!

Then, after you have silenced your inner critic ask yourself this:

How would my friend/parent support me and help me in this situation?

Then simply do things and talk to yourself like he or she would.

This will help you to feel better again and to move forward to solve and improve upon the situation. And it’s a much better use of your time and energy than beating yourself up.

10. Tell yourself: Just for today!

I learned this one from Brian Tracy probably 10 years ago.

And in this case it can help you avoid falling back into those destructive responses to a bad day that may have become a bit of a habit for you.

So what you do is this, tell yourself that:

Just for today I will X!

And in this case you can replace that X with for example “not beat myself up about a mistake!” or “focus on solutions and action instead of procrastinating!”.

The nice thing about this one is that you only make a small commitment to do things differently today.

Then you can go back to your old ways tomorrow if you like. But you may not want to and perhaps you instead start building a positive spiral of positivity for the whole week.

Or you go back to your old ways sometimes and sometimes you use this tip to handle a bad day in a more constructive way (which is still an improvement compared to doing things the old way 100% of the time)

11. Get outside of your own head by adding positivity to someone else’s life.

One of the simplest ways to get outside of your own head and out of sinking deeper and deeper into your own negative thoughts about your day is to add positivity to someone else’s life.

That focus outward and on someone else can drastically shift your perspective around for the better.

You can for example:

• Help someone out. With for instance moving houses, with planning for an upcoming job interview or by offering some advice that has helped you in a similar situation that your friend is in now.
• Just listen. Sometimes people just want someone to truly listen for a little while as they work out their own situation and possible solutions.
• Be kind. Give a genuine compliment for something that means a lot to the other person or something she does that is often taken for granted.

12. Take 5-15 minutes to read some motivational quotes.

This is something I quite often do to change my mood and viewpoint and to find some new motivation.

Here’s 6 of the my favorite and most popular posts about quotes that I have put together over the past 10+ years:

13. Journal about your day.

Writing down your thoughts and feelings about your day can help you to mentally step back a step or two from what is happening and to see things with more clarity (and from a wider perspective).

Doing this has helped me many times to not build a mountain out of a molehill and to start finding solutions to my current situation and or at least a small step or two that I can take to begin moving in the right direction.

14. Talk it over with someone to find that new perspective.

This is a bit similar to journaling and it’s in my experience one of the best ways to find a new perspective on a negative situation.

Because just letting your thoughts and feelings about your bad day bounce around in your head tends to exaggerate things and can make you feel more and more powerless.

But letting those emotions and thoughts out helps to vent all of that built up inner pressure and it allows you to start to either figure out the situation and what to do about it for yourself as your friend just listens.

Or the two of you can have a conversation about it and together come up with a plan – or the start of one – for what you can do to improve upon the situation you’re in.

15. Take a laugh break for 10-15 minutes.

Few things can so easily relieve stress and inner tensions and allow you to see things from a lighter perspective as laughing and having fun.

So I often take a laugh break and watch, read or listen to something that makes me laugh. Like for example a favorite episode of The Simpsons, a couple of online comics I like (such as the Oatmeal and Poorly Drawn Lines) or a bit of a standup show on Netflix.

16. Find something to look forward to.

Find something to look forward to or to reward yourself with after you have done what you need to do today, no matter if that is boring work or a doctor’s appointment that you’re nervous about.

Like for example that movie you’ve been looking forward to seeing coupled with your favorite take out food.

17. Take a shower.

My wife sometimes recommends this one to get a bit of a restart. And I often find that it works surprisingly well – considering how little effort it takes – to mentally reboot a day that has not begun well for me.

18. Clean up.

I find that taking a shower and then following that up with spending 5-10 minutes decluttering my workspace or home and organizing things makes me feel more in control again and more ready to start anew and take care of what I need to do to improve my current situation.

So try that combination or combine that shower with one of the other tips in this post to get an even better effect.

19. Tap into gratitude.

When you’re having a bad day or you’re in some kind of bad situation then you may get lost in only seeing the negative things in your life.

A way to counter that and to break out the pessimism that can suck out so much of your energy and trap you in inaction is to ask yourself a few questions that help you to tap into gratitude.

So ask yourself these 3 questions:

• What are 3 things I can be thankful for in my life today?
• Who are 3 people I can be thankful to have in my life and why?
• What are 3 things I can be thankful for about myself?

These things don’t have to be big things. They could just be the nice weather, that you have access to clean drinking water, that you flossed today or that your friend made you laugh yesterday.

20. Look back and celebrate how far you’ve come.

Another thing that is easy to lose sight of when you’re down and you’re having a bad day is what you have actually accomplished so far.

The steps you have taken, the obstacles you have overcome and what you have learned.

Reflect on that when you’re having a bad day to find a wider perspective and to see that this one day is just a temporary step back and nothing more on your journey.

And take a few minutes to appreciate and celebrate what you have done so far to move yourself towards your goal or dream. 

21. Remember: sometimes a bad day will just be a bad day.

Now, from time to time, even if you use several of the techniques above – one after the other – you won’t be able to turn a bad day around.

That has been my experience at least.

Because no matter what habits you adopt, life will never be perfect, positive or awesome all the time.

And this website was never about living some kind of life that only exists in a perfect dream anyway.

This website is about replacing unhelpful habits with better ones.

It is about raising the percentages of times where you can handle things in a better way. In your regular, everyday life. And when bigger things happen.

Because that will make a huge difference.

But still, life will have natural valleys.

And a bad day will sometimes just be a bad day. And that’s OK. That’s life.

But the interesting thing is this: if you accept that life is like this sometimes – and let go of the dream of perfection – then you’ll create less suffering for yourself and life will become lighter, simpler and happier.

So in the long run there is an upside even to a bad day that you may not be able to turn around.

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When you feel like you can’t do anything right, the whole day feels like a bust. It can be hard to get back on your feet when persistent negative thoughts are getting in your way.

Think about the last time you felt this way. After some time, did your lack of energy subside? Remember that depressive feelings don’t last forever, as emotions act like a tide coming in and out.

Luckily, there is always something you can do to get back in action. We’ve created a list of 11 positive practices to turn things around. 

What to Do When You Can’t Do Anything

If your self-esteem is running on empty, you may be asking yourself, “Why can’t I get anything right?” It’s important for you to understand that your lack of motivation isn’t your fault.

Our emotional worlds can be complex. We often go through stages of depression that feel inexplicable and difficult to overcome. Then, out of nowhere, we feel better again. The clouds clear, the sky turns from grey to blue, and we forget the rain ever came. 

However, our responsibilities can’t always wait for a natural turnaround in our mood. If you are feeling unproductive or incapable, know that it isn’t a reflection of your character and that there are productive steps you can take to uplift your mood.

Just because you have thoughts like, “I can’t do anything right,” doesn’t mean they are true. You can learn to break past negative thought patterns. If your feelings of depression are prolonged, you may want to:

Why Can’t I Do Anything Right? 11 Ways to Turn It Around

1. Reorganize your space.

When you’ve felt depressed for some time, your room or home may not feel comfortable anymore. For visual thinkers and aesthetically minded people, the space around you can often reflect the state of your mind.

When those spaces are at odds, it can be hard to get anything done. Cleaning or reorganizing your room is a small task that can make a monumental difference in your mental health.

Not only will you feel proud of your hard work, but your environment will be working for you rather than against you.

2. Connect with nature.

Have you gotten out of bed today? When was the last time you went on a nice walk around your neighborhood and felt the sun on your skin?

You can fight feelings of mental paralysis by getting your body moving and connecting to something bigger than yourself. The beauty of nature is the perfect tonic for negative feelings.

Allow yourself to feel inspiration and gratitude for the beauty of nature. You don’t have to hike Mount Everest, but a five-minute walk around the block can make a world of difference. 

3. Take a shower.

Our bodies do so much for us, even when we feel like we can’t do any at all. Every cell in your body is working just for you, even when it feels like your brain isn’t functioning at full capacity.

Small actions, like taking a shower or a bath, honor your body for the good things it does for you. It can also press reset after a tough day. After you get out of the shower, take a few moments to just breathe, and remember how capable you are. 

4. Incorporate mantras into your routine.

Negative thoughts are usually a part of a pattern. Our brain gets used to negative self-talk, internalizes it, and then it begins to feel like reality. If you continue to believe you are a failure or you can’t do anything right, it might become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

It’s important to remember that those self-defeating thoughts exist only as unreliable products of your consciousness. Meditation and repeating mantras or affirmations can ground you in the present moment and rewire your brain to respond to negative emotions with more positive thoughts. 

5. Ask yourself questions.

Do you feel like the only question you can ask yourself right now is, “Why can’t I get anything done?” Try turning that question around, and reframe it in a more positive light.

Instead of assuming you can’t get anything done, ask yourself, “What is one thing I can do right now that would make me feel better?” Your answer could be to go for a walk or have an ice cream cone — it’s entirely up to you!

Or maybe you’re thinking, “I feel like I can’t do anything right.” Change that thought to, “What are some things I have done well?” Remind yourself of those things, and write them down in a journal so you remember them.

More Related Articles:

12 Of The Most Important Values To Live By

21 Things To Do By Yourself To Relax And Recharge

The Ultimate List Of Habits: 175 Positive Actions For A Better You

12 Of The Worst Negative Personality Traits That Are Truly Nasty

6. Reframe your to-do list.

When you are feeling down on yourself or stuck, your to-do list is still there waiting for you. Tasks can build up over time and feel overwhelming no matter how small they are.

Rethink how you approach these tasks. If you aren’t good with routines, don’t make one. Just pick one thing off your list each day, and find an hour in the day to do it.

Break tasks down into small, manageable actions that still make you feel productive but don’t tax you too much.

Allow yourself to be flexible and go with the flow. Don’t be so hard on yourself about when you get things done or how much you accomplish. One useful action is better than none.

7. Ask a friend for help. 

If you feel like you can’t get anything done, that’s okay. You don’t have to do it all by yourself. There’s no shame in asking a friend to lighten your load. That’s what friends are for.

Enlist a friend’s help and your task just got more fun! The time it takes to complete it will be cut in half, while you and your friend goof off and make each other laugh. 

8. Go on a trip. 

Nothing hits reset on a tough few weeks like getting out of town. When you feel like you can’t do anything right, then step back and lean in to a mental and emotional break.

Go on a weekend getaway and treat yourself to a fun new experience. Your productivity does not determine your worth, and you deserve to treat yourself no matter what. 

9. Set small goals. 

The bigger the task, the more daunting it feels, and the more paralyzed you may become. If you are already in a rut, don’t set your self-expectations too high.

Break down your larger goals into smaller, more manageable goals. Plus, this way you have more milestones to celebrate.

Each goal you complete is another one you can cross off your list — and crossing things off lists is one of the simple joys in life.

10. Reward yourself. 

You did it! You got out of bed today, that’s awesome. Celebrate with a nice, fancy cup of tea. You finished up an assignment you’d been putting off. That’s incredible!

It can be so hard to overcome that anxiety, so be proud of yourself. You deserve a treat. Rewarding yourself for small tasks isn’t silly — it’s motivating. Your brain loves rewards, and doing something nice for your brain will help you to feel better. 

11. Do nothing.

So you can’t get anything done. That’s okay. We are taught that a lack of motivation and low productivity is always bad. But often it’s a call for rest. Sometimes your body just needs a break.

If you feel like you are making a lot of mistakes and getting things wrong, it could be a sign that you’re not well-rested or that stress is impacting your concentration and focus.

There’s nothing wrong with listening to your body and giving it the rest it needs. Go take a nap or lounge in front of the TV. These are little joys that can help us reset. 

When you can’t do anything right, try one of these actions.

We all feel stuck sometimes. Getting out of a self-reinforcing rut is never an easy task, and many people take for granted how scary that incapacitation can feel.

You are stronger and more capable than you know, even right now. Take stock of where you are and be more forgiving with yourself. Whether you go on a walk or call a friend, these little steps will make a huge difference. 

Commit to trying a couple of them when you your life feels stuck and you aren’t your best. Just taking one of these actions proves that you can do something, even if it’s a small something. Build on that and let the momentum carry you forward until your emotions follow.

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Have you ever wondered why some people handle failures so well? They take setbacks in stride and don’t let anything keep them from working towards their goals. How do they do this? Are these people that much tougher than you and me? Yes, they are. Well, yes and no.

You see, mental toughness is a complicated idea, not easily summed up by saying one person is more tough than the other. But in this regard, if we are comparing ways we handle failure, someone who takes it well is much more mentally tough in respect to failure than someone who doesn’t. 

That’s because the ability to be resilient and bounce back from failure is one of the six attributes that make up mental toughness. Though, to build this form of mental toughness is not complicated. Those who are able to face failure head on and move right past it all have one thing in common… their perspective on failure. 

How to Develop a Positive Perspective on Failure

Telling people to have a positive outlook on failure can be met with some resistance. The essence of failure means it’s not the result we want, so why should we feel positively towards it? I think this stems from the misconception that having a positive perspective means you want to fail.

Of course, we all would prefer to succeed every second. That’s just not how success works, in fact, the higher your goals, the more failures are likely to occur. But that doesn’t mean you have to want the failures. 

Having a positive perspective means shifting the way failure impacts your life. Instead of allowing it to tear you down, you can choose to use it in a positive way. To do that, you need to begin thinking about failure quite differently.

“The difference between average people and achieving people is their perception of and response to failure.” – John C. Maxwell

Recognize What’s in Your Control 

After failure occurs, it’s natural to be consumed by anger. You may become angry with yourself, your environment, or the failure itself. This wave of anger typically manifests in you seeking control. None of us like to feel powerless, which is why anger becomes such a safe emotional response. 

The angrier we become, the more control we seem to have. However, the control we aim to obtain rarely involves aspects of life that are actually within our power to control. This is when you begin to blame everyone else for your failures and think about all the things you could’ve changed or done differently to avoid the failure altogether. 

At this point, though, there is no use focusing on the past or the cause of the failure (unless you are giving it attention as a way to learn). The more you become emotionally invested in the past or seek to control that which you cannot in the present, the more difficult handling failure will become. 

So, what is in our control after suffering a setback or failure? Well, simply put, we are. How we react emotionally and what our next steps will be are the main areas in our control that need attention.

The failure has happened, accept it. Don’t spend too much time dwelling on the past or feeling self-pity for the misfortunes you faced. Right now, you have a wonderful choice to make, either continue to feel sorry for yourself and let anger consume you or decide you will handle the failure positively and focus on what’s in your control.

Next time you are faced with failure, try focusing on these key areas:

• Your Thinking: What thoughts come to mind when you fail? Do you criticize yourself or do you use uplifting and positive self-talk?
• Your Attitude: What’s your attitude when it comes to failure? Instead of taking it as a personal defeat, view it as a learning experience (more on this in the next section).
• Your Attention: Are you giving focus to your past, going over all the things you could’ve done better? Or do you put all your attention and energy into improving yourself and progressing forward?

View Failure as a Learning Experience 

While we may not be able to control whether failure happens to us, it’s completely within our power to choose how we view failing. For some reason, we feel like failure must be viewed in a negative way. 

Holding to this idea is what leads to an intense fear of failure. We build up all these negative and threatening consequences around failing, that it’s natural to become terrified of it happening to us. 

Though, there is another option. We all know failure is going to happen, so it’s wise to begin using it to our advantage. All it takes to begin leveraging your failures is to alter your view of what it means to fail. 

Instead of being afraid to fail and taking each one so personally, begin to view them as learning opportunities. Each time you fail, you grow one step closer to your goal. It can serve as an incredible opportunity to learn what does and doesn’t work and alter your approach accordingly. 

Once you start to see failure as a lesson, your view of it becomes much more objective. You would not take a math lesson personally; you’d simply learn from it. Have the same mindset in terms of failure. See it as a mere lesson that’s actually positive, since it’s helping you inch your way closer to success. 

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When we are overwhelmed by confusion, our psyche tries to establish certainty to alleviate our discomfort. This is usually accomplished by mentally imagining and acting out a plot. Unfortunately, much of the time, we mentally visualize pessimistic (or worst-case scenario) scenarios to provide certainty.

But, right now, think about what story you’re telling yourself in response to this confusion. Playing out a scary story is of no benefit to you. It’s important to remember that what’s unknown has yet to be discovered. Take a step back, count to five in your head, and choose to concentrate on an inner story that makes you happy instead.

Turning Inward: What It Is & How It Helps

Turning inward and turning outward are two methods for paying attention. During the last two decades, turning inward has become a more important aspect of care. It’s a method of analyzing and becoming more mindful of your thoughts and feelings. Tuning in to your body and monitoring your emotional reactions accomplishes this.

Essentially, the aim is to teach your senses to ignore external stimuli. Various treatments will help you calm down and concentrate inside yourself by introducing you to turn inward using deep breathing and visualization strategies. Since they are less dependent on externals or verbal communication, anxiety and trauma treatments that teach patients to turn inward may seem awkward or uncomfortable at first.

However, as treatment progresses, the inner world becomes more secure, familiar, and healing.Unfortunately, most of us do not live our adult lives in this manner. Instead, we look to the outside world for solace, affirmation, and peace.

“We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves.” – Buddha

 We’ve Forgotten How to Recognize and Resolve Our Unhappiness

In general, most of us are distracted in one way or another. We constantly multitask excessively, exhaust ourselves, and neglect our inner lives, which could bring us the most harmony, enjoyment, and happiness.

Of course, most of us have the potential to turn inward; we’ve just become uninterested in doing so. When we were kids, it was normal and easy to turn inward. We used to enjoy tasting and savour our favourite foods. We used to fall deeply into a sound and restful sleep. And we relished a familiar song, a sunny day, or taking a moment to think and daydream.

You were probably more aware of your interests and dislikes back then, based on what pleased you and able to pinpoint what harmed you. You shared and processed the pain before moving on.

Unfortunately, evidence suggests that we are conditioned to divert our attention away from our inner self along the way. Instead, we get caught up in daily distractions, complex relationships, painful experiences, and poor coping behaviours, severing the strong bond we once had with our core emotions. Fortunately, even while treating emotional distress that causes anxiety, therapists and researchers are discovering the importance of reconnecting you to your internal existence.

Here are some practical tips that will help you Turn Inward and Detox Your Mind

Be gentle with yourself and others.

With so much detail, you’re doing the best you can. When you start to feel irritated and overwhelmed, pay attention to what you are doing and thinking. When you become more conscious of what causes you, such as the fear of a pandemic, you give yourself the ability to react more thoughtfully. Instead, focus your energy on something that makes you and others feel comfortable.

Limit how much media you consume

It’s essential to keep up with current events. However, keeping updated does not have to consume you! Spending an hour on your phone reading a social media thread isn’t going to help you feel better; in fact, it’ll just make you feel more overwhelmed and anxious. As a result, become a media user who is aware and mindful. Plan to search reputable news outlets and restrict your time spent on them.

Get out of paralyzing analysis 

Stopping a stream of panicked thoughts can be extremely difficult. Stop what you’re doing and turn your body if you’re exhausted and experiencing “analysis paralysis.” Get your mind out of the way and into your body. Shake, twerk, dance, and hop around. Just get moving.

Love your body

It’s really easy to numb nervous emotions by eating low-energy foods and drinking alcohol. This avoidance tactic would almost certainly make you feel more stressed in the long run. So, as much as possible, practise self-care by respecting and enjoying your body. Keep the body healthy by focusing on conscious, medically sound behaviour.

Nurture your inner world

Simply concentrating on what makes you happy is a way to feel better. Here’s a short rundown of some stuff you might try: Watch programs that make you feel comfortable and don’t make you anxious. Make a call to your mates and have a pleasant conversation. In your living room, dance to music that makes you happy. Consider taking an online course. It will help if you read more books. 

Spend time in the great outdoors. Make the most of this time of active social distancing by nurturing yourself. Try meditating as much as you can.

“You either control your mind or it controls you.” – Napoleon Hill

A meditation to ease overwhelm so that you can tap into your inner well-being

Switch off your cell phone and find a quiet place to sit where you will not be disturbed. Sit upright with your legs uncrossed and feet planted firmly on the ground. Place your palms facing up. 

• Bring awareness to your breath.
• Breathe in and out on a count of five.
• As you inhale, focus only on your breath; count for five and then exhale.
• Focusing entirely on your exhale for the count of five.
• Then on each inhale, mentally repeat the following words: I welcome inner peace and well-being.
• On each exhale, repeat the following words: I release all overwhelm and fear held in my being. I am safe.
• Breathe in and out, restating these mantras for as long as necessary.
• As thoughts come up in your mind (they always do!), witness them and refocus your awareness back on your breath.
• Try to do this for a minimum of five minutes. (You can get a free guided relaxation meditation that you can listen to here).

As it becomes more comfortable for you, increase your meditation length and practice this as often as necessary. Make it a priority to protect your mental space as much as you do anything else that matters.

If you have a constantly gossiping friend, either ask them to change the subject or avoid seeing them if they are unable to do so. Don’t watch the news for three hours a day if you know it would stress you out. Make a firm commitment to being the most grounded, happy individual you can be… and avoid allowing something to seize and hold your minimal attention.

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Many of us have heard of the 7 deadly sins. It’s safe to say that everyone has had some experience with each of these negative traits. Ask anyone – a neighbor, co-worker, stranger on the street, or even your spouse, and they will tell you they’ve had some personal struggle with at least one of these unfavorable offenses.

What are the 7 Deadly Sins?

1. Lust, an uncontrollable and inappropriate desire, usually for sex, but can also include a desire for power, money, or fame.
2. Gluttony, a need to consume excess amounts of food and drink, and wasting what others need.
3. Greed, a great desire for wealth or material possessions.
4. Sloth, an avoidance of work, excessive laziness, and a failure to use one’s natural gifts and talents.
5. Wrath, an uncontrollable anger and hatred towards another person that can result in an unwillingness to forgive.
6. Envy, a strong wrongful desire of what someone else has, including possessions, status, and advantages.
7. Pride, a superior opinion of oneself, an “I’m better than you” attitude, which places one-self above all others.

These deadly sins represent all that is negative and offensive with the human race. It seems impossible that anyone can use these as a way to bring happiness into their lives. Let’s take a look at each deadly sin, and see how we can create our own “Happiness Strategies” to boost productivity.

1. Self-Control vs. Lust

Self-control helps to keep our wildest desires in check. When we practice self-control, we use that unbridled energy to benefit others, rather than spending all of that energy on ourselves. It’s about being on a selfless mission rather than a selfish mission. To be honest, self-control is not easy, especially when you have a habit of not reigning in those primitive desires. It needs to be practiced on a daily basis until it becomes your new normal. 

When you find yourself desiring a passionate night with a beautiful woman or handsome man who you hardly know, turn that into a desire to find out more about that person. Ask them about their career, their family, their favorite places to visit. Make it your personal mission to learn what it is that makes this person beautiful on the inside.

Happiness Strategy #1 – Choose one of these strategies to practice the next time you are faced with a situation where you need to practice some major self-control.

“If you lose self-control everything will fall.” – John Wooden

2. Temperance vs. Gluttony

Temperance involves self-discipline and moderation, typically when it comes to food and alcohol. It teaches us to use food and drink as a way to be healthy. It’s not that we can’t enjoy food, with all of its flavors and textures and delicious aromas. If we are unhealthy due to the amount of food or drink we consume, then we physically and mentally cannot be at our personal best nor can we be available for the important people in our lives. Being healthy not only gives us an advantage in our own life, but also allows us to be healthy enough to serve others. 

Happiness Strategy #2 – Find one way to make a healthy choice.

3. Charity vs Greed

Charity is about placing others above yourself, making sure others are taken care of first, and using your own resources to accomplish both of these things. This is a great example of how doing for others is a key to happiness for yourself.

Giving, in any form, creates a sense of inward happiness. “I am happy because I have the resources available to make someone else happy.” The more often you give of yourself, the more happiness you will find. It becomes a circular pattern. I’m not talking about giving out of guilt or obligation. The attitude with which you do practice charity will have lasting effects on your own personal happiness. 

Happiness Strategy #3 – Find an opportunity to give of your time or resources to someone in need.

4. Diligence vs. Sloth

Diligence is a desire to use our energy, our talents, and our gifts to serve others rather than live a life of ease and laziness. Energetic and hardworking is a great way to describe a diligent person. They are working towards a purpose, not simply working to check a task off of a list. Being diligent, though, is more than being a hard-worker. It’s also about responsibility and reliability. Others need to know they can rely on you to do what you said you would and be responsible enough to complete it to the best of your ability. 

Having a goal outside of yourself is often what keeps us going until the end. Knowing we’ve accomplished that goal despite our desire to quit, give up, or only do what needs to be done, gives you a sense of pride and accomplishment, and inevitably a sense of happiness. People without a vision or objective in life that they can diligently throw themselves into are inevitably unhappy.

Happiness Strategy #4 – Find a purpose bigger than yourself to use your time and talents to benefit others.

5. Patience vs. Wrath

Patience is taking the time to understand others and being willing to forgive when mistakes or offenses are made. This is not an easy task whatsoever. It is so easy to be upset or criticize the person who offended you, rather than being willing to forgive them.

Forgiveness and understanding are not the norm in our modern culture. There is an underlying attitude of “Eye for an Eye”, or “They got what’s coming to them!”. This will not bring you peace, joy, and least of all any type of happiness. 

Living in anger and unforgiveness will destroy you from the inside out. A popular quote about refusing to forgive describes perfectly what living like this truly does to you. “Refusing to forgive is like taking poison but expecting someone else to die.”

Happiness Strategy #5 – Practice patience and forgiveness daily.

6. Kindness vs. Envy

Kindness is a desire to help others, rather than the need to be better than them. We are envious of our neighbors because they have a brand new car. We are envious of our friends because they went on a tropical vacation. We are envious of our brother-in-law because he received a promotion at work. Envy does nothing but cause major rifts between you and the people you are close to. Does this sound like something that can bring you true happiness?

Kindness, especially in spite of the way we feel, will cut you free from the chains of envy and jealousy. It can be practiced daily in simple ways. Kindness can come in many forms. Text your wife a love note while she’s at work. Bring in the mail for your neighbor. Make cookies for your child’s teacher. Smiling at those you pass by will brighten not only your day but theirs as well.

Happiness Strategy #6 – Find one way to practice kindness each and every day.

“Our envy of others devours us most of all.” – Alexander Solzhenitsyn

7. Humility vs. Pride

Humility is actively letting go of your own false ego and replacing it with an attitude of service. This is definitely not an easy task. Pride allows us to believe we are not in need of help, we are better than everyone else, and we know everything there is to know. Pride also has an uncanny ability to demonstrate in our own lives, the need for humility.

Humility places the emphasis on someone else, besides myself, and their needs. What can I do to help them through this time of struggle? How can I best use my co-workers talents to improve on this presentation? When we practice humility, we begin to see the positive aspects of another person’s life, which in turn helps us see the positive aspects of our own lives.

Happiness Strategy #7 – Practice humility by living a life with an attitude of “others first”.

Now you have seven strategies you can practically implement and use each and every day. Practicing these strategies will create long-lasting habits of self-control, temperance, charity, diligence, patience, kindness, and humility. 

Looking at all of these in its entirety can make you feel very overwhelmed. To best implement these strategies, choose one to follow each week. Begin by focusing on the one that you struggle with the most.

Steady and consistent practice of these seven happiness strategies will have you feeling better. Those around you will take notice that you are now a happier and more contented human being.

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