Have you ever had one of those days when it seems like everything is going wrong? 

We tend to blame ourselves during these times and find ourselves thinking, “Is something wrong with me?” 

The answer is no, and you’re not alone in these feelings.

Everyone experiences self-defeating thoughts on occasion.

While these thoughts tend to feel like a black hole, you can pull yourself out of the darkness and recognize that you are okay just as you are.

What’s Wrong With Me – Why Do I Feel Like This? 

It’s no secret – life gets tough sometimes.

When it does, we tend to feel low and engage in unproductive self-talk. We can be our own worst critics and believe everything is our fault.

Understanding why you think this way can help you take the actions needed to change your self-perception.

Here are some of the most common reasons you feel like something is wrong with you. 

1. You’re Overworked

If you tackle too many responsibilities, the natural reaction is to feel overwhelmed. Overworking tends to diminish your energy and motivation. 

When we have low energy and feel exhausted, we are more likely to engage in negative self-talk and thoughts that we aren’t up to snuff. 

If you feel like your plate is full, and you notice you’re getting overwhelmed – pay attention. Give yourself a break to recharge, and your self-defeating thoughts will likely disperse.

2. Perfectionism Is Getting The Best Of You

Perfectionism is a slippery slope. We all want to be the best versions of ourselves, but sometimes you can try too hard to get it all right. 

We beat ourselves up for not doing everything perfectly and think something is wrong when we fall short. Don’t hold yourself to impossible standards. Remember, you’re human, and it is natural to make mistakes. In fact, mistakes help you learn and grow.

3. You Compare Yourself To Others

The grass is always greener on the other side. When we compare ourselves to others, we look at their lives with rose-colored glasses. 

No matter how great they look on the outside, everyone has their battles and deals with self-doubt. In the digital age, it’s easy to look at someone’s social media and assume their life is perfect. 

Remember, people only show what they want you to see, which rarely includes the unpleasant stuff going on behind the scenes. 

4. You  Feel Unfulfilled 

Working an unfulfilling job or being in unsatisfying relationships makes everyone feel off-kilter. If you’re not where you want to be, you tend to believe the problem is you rather than your environment. 

Take a look around you and think about your life. Does it make you feel good, or do you see areas needing serious improvement? If the answer is yes, take steps to improve your life, and chances are you’ll begin to feel there’s not a thing wrong with you.. 

5. You Are Lonely

Humans are incredibly social creatures. We need other people to feel fulfilled and happy. Even introverted homebodies require social interaction. 

Loneliness leads to isolation and even depression that makes us feel down on ourselves. If you aren’t socializing, it’s easy to feel like something is wrong with you. 

Meeting new people is a great way to build your social circle and cut down on feelings of loneliness. 

What is Wrong with Me? 9 Actions to Take When You Feel This Way 

Everyone feels off every once in a while, but we’re here to tell you there is nothing “wrong” with you. It may be hard to convince yourself of this truth when you’re experiencing these emotions. 

But there are some time-tested strategies to help you see yourself in a new light and recognize how very ok you are. 

1. Give Yourself A Break

Sometimes when we are overworked and stressed, our sense of self suffers. We don’t feel good about ourselves and start to doubt our self-worth. We begin to think of things we could have done differently or still need to do. 

Sometimes the best thing to do when you find yourself asking, “Is there something wrong with me?” is to take a break. Whether it’s a walk around the block or deep breaths, these moments are essential for our mental health. 

2. Practice Gratitude

When we feel low, we focus on what we lack and everything we don’t have. Practicing gratitude is one of the best ways to shift our mindset to one of positivity and abundance. 

Gratitude helps ground us and reminds us how worthy we are. Practicing gratitude every day can limit thoughts of self-doubt. It also helps break our cyclical negative thoughts. You can start each day by naming three things you’re grateful for. 

3. Remember The Feeling Will Pass

Whenever you catch yourself thinking, “Why do I feel like this?” it’s best to remember this is your anxiety talking. Anxiety makes you assume your feelings are permanent and will never get better. Take back your power and remember the feeling will pass just as it always has. 

Sometimes when we get caught up in negative self-talk, we have a hard time bringing ourselves back to the center. In these moments, remind yourself about the impermanence of our thoughts and feelings. 

4. Practice A Quick Meditation

Meditation is one of the best things to do when you question what’s wrong with you. Deep and slow breathing signals the parasympathetic nervous system to calm you down. It also helps to slow down the mind and reduce negative thoughts. 

Regular meditation is an excellent tool for staying present and positive. Making it a practice can quash thoughts that something isn’t right with you. 

You can easily find a quick meditation online or on your smartphone so that you can meditate from almost anywhere. 

5. Be Compassionate With Yourself

We can be our own worst enemy. Our self-talk during low points edges on self-abuse. It is not how you’d speak to your friends and loved ones, so why talk to yourself this way? 

If we took a step back and listened to what we say to ourselves when we feel down, we would be appalled.

Try to imagine what you’d say to a friend if they expressed similar feelings about themselves. Encourage and reassure yourself of your greatness and accomplishments. 

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6. Call A Loved One

Reach out to a friend if you’re having difficulty getting out of a negative headspace and feel like something is wrong with you.  

Sometimes talking to someone we care about is enough to pull ourselves out of this space. Expressing our feelings aloud to someone else also helps us recognize how untrue the feelings are. 

Our loved ones also help to reassure us there is nothing wrong with us, and we are just caught up in negative feelings. 

7. Practice Affirmations

Affirmations are a powerful tool for building your confidence and self-worth. If you practice speaking positive affirmations, you’ll be less likely to fall into despair, believing something is wrong with you. 

Find a good list of positive affirmations and choose those that resonate with you. When you have self-doubt, repeat the affirmations that give you a sense of peace and self-acceptance. 

8. Practice Self-Love

Sometimes the weight of our hectic schedules gets the best of us. We balance work, family, household chores, and social events, and our self-care ends up on the back burner. 

Self-love and self-care are so crucial to promoting feelings of worthiness. Make self-love and self-care a priority if you frequently feel down about yourself. It’s as simple as taking 10-15 minutes to stretch and breathe or enjoy a cup of tea with your phone on silent. 

Remember You Are Not Alone

Everyone has negative self-talk at some point every day. We all have far more negative thoughts than positive ones. We may think we are past specific defeating thought patterns only for them to arise again when we feel low. 

When you find yourself ruminating about what is wrong with you, remember you are not alone with these feelings.

There is nothing wrong with you, and these feelings will pass. But it’s validating to know other people experience these types of thoughts – even people you may think have it all.

If you frequently think, “What is wrong with me? Why am I like this?” – keep this list of strategies handy. Remember to give yourself a break and be kind to yourself in these moments. 

Deep breathing, meditation, gratitude, and reaching out to friends are all simple actions. When you practice them regularly, you’ll notice you feel more is right with you than wrong. 

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What if I told you being positive is a big waste of time? Would that be crazy? Well, trust me, It’s not. And that’s because 90% of people use positivity completely wrong. And going further, it can lead to feelings of inauthenticity and low-grade motivation at best. But there’s a way to fix this. And I guarantee that when positivity is done this way, it can be a powerful source of motivation that reinforces your confidence and pride in the process.

How Everybody Gets Positivity Wrong

You’ve seen generic motivational phrases before. You know, phrases like:

• You can do it!
• Anything’s possible!
• Just believe!

And so on, and so on. But if you’re anything like me, saying these phrases feels completely inauthentic and even a bit icky. Why is that? Because they’re not based on reality. More specifically – they’re not based on my reality. What I’m getting at is the fact that these phrases have absolutely nothing to do with my experiences, personality, or how I usually succeed in life. They’re simply canned statements that anybody can shout. And it’s impossible to ignore this fact.

“Positivity always wins. Always.” – Gary Vaynerchuk

The Key To Making Positivity Work

You’d be a fool to completely dismiss positivity altogether. You just got to know how to make it work in an effective and genuine way. And there’s an easy way to do that. The secret is simply making your motivational phrases positive and objective

The first part is obvious. Just make sure it actually feels like a motivational phrase. But objective? What does that mean? Let me first share where I learned about this technique.

There’s a sports psychologist named Dr. Jon Fader. He wrote a book called “Life As Sport,” and he talks about this technique called “Objective Optimism.” And he specifically points out that this method has been used successfully on many of his outstanding athletic clients.

(And bear in mind, results are everything in sports. There’s no space for fluffy positivity that “might” be helpful)

In fact, there’s an Israeli former welterweight boxing champion that uses this technique as well. His name is Yuri Foreman. And he repeats certain mantras in his head during a match to keep his focus and motivation strong and steady. Based on his list, it’s clear that everything he tells himself is a reminder that he’s earned his place in the ring. Here’s a few things he repeats:

• “I’ve trained hard.”
• “I’ve done all the work.”
• “I’m ready.”

Now, here’s how you can use this – think of where you’ve already succeeded in life, or where your performance is best. It can be a big or small success. Or even a reliable characteristic you have.

For example:

• Consistently going to the gym
• Getting a good job
• Mastering an instrument
• Staying calm when it matters
• Being an effective planner

Really, there’s no “too low” threshold here – every win, proven skill, and achievement counts. And once you’ve determined a few of these, just choose the most relevant one to your current goal and then turn that “win” into a motivational phrase you can use when you need it. All of a sudden, what was once a generic statement is now an evidence-based tool for motivation.

Here’s a couple of examples:

• “They chose me.” (If you’re feeling underqualified for a promotion, just remember they chose you for a reason – your skills and potential are real)
• “My calm creates power.” (If your major skill is remaining calm, use this phrase when you need to take control of haywire situations and settle things down)
• “Just another rep.” (I use this when I’m feeling resistance in the gym. It’s a reminder that I’ve already done thousands of reps before – so what’s one more?)
• “I’ve put in the work.” (Like with Yuri Foreman, if you’ve put in the training for something, don’t let that fact slip your mind when it matters. Use this phrase to put things in perspective)

As you can see, it’s much more powerful when your motivations are born from real-life experience. They carry a weight that has immediate and long term impact on your ability to get things done. And the best part is they’re custom-tailored to you as an individual – nobody else can use it but you.

“believing in negative thoughts is the single greatest obstruction to success.” – Charles F. Glassman

Your “Mantra” For Success And Motivation

These statements are kind of like using NOS in a car – when you feel yourself losing speed or meeting resistance to the task at hand, you bust it out to gain speed and momentum again. But if you use low-grade NOS instead (aka fluff positivity), don’t expect to get much mileage out of it. Instead, focus on using your evidence-based motivational phrase – aptly named by Dr. Jon Fader, the “Mantra.”

And most likely, you’ll feel motivated, authentic, and even proud because your phrase reminds you of the fact that you have wins in your life already. And now, it’s being used to fuel even more wins.So don’t wait to make your mantra and use it to gain even more success today.

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