Trying to stick to your weight loss plan can be challenging, especially if you’re someone who’s mainly focused on what foods you “can’t eat” or “should avoid.” While each weight loss strategy may have their own individualized sets of goals and guidelines, it’s helpful to concentrate on the foods you can enjoy that can provide you with a delicious boost of fiber, protein, antioxidants, vitamins, and more.

When it comes to choosing the best foods to help you reach your weight loss goals, one way you can help yourself is to make sure your pantry, refrigerator, and freezer are always stocked with a few key items that you can grab whenever you want. Having these items on hand can aid in limiting how often you are able to reach for less nutrient-dense munchies or resisting the urge to open up that food delivery app on your phone.

Read on to learn about which foods dietitians say you should keep in your kitchen if you’re trying to lose weight—then, check out 6 Best High-Protein Foods for Weight Loss.

One of the best fruits you can always have stocked in your fridge is a carton of delicious, antioxidant-rich blueberries.

“Blueberries are super healthy, filling, and versatile. They are low in calories and contain plenty of fiber, so you feel satisfied,” says Lisa Young, Ph.D., RDN, author of Finally Full, Finally Slim: 30 Days to Permanent Weight Loss One Portion at a Time, and member of our medical expert advisory board. “You can enjoy them plain; add them to yogurt; freeze them and enjoy them as a treat; or even heat them in the microwave for a minute for that warm, berry pie taste.”

If you find that you can’t finish a package of blueberries before they go bad, try buying a bag of frozen berries instead.

Having a box of old-fashioned or steel-cut oats in your pantry can help you on those mornings when you need a boost of fiber, especially since an increase in fiber intake has been associated with greater weight loss.

“Oatmeal is a healthy and filling breakfast option and takes just a few minutes to make. [Oats] contain fiber, which will keep you full,” says Young. “You can throw in assorted fruit, add milk or water, and top with nuts or seeds.”

“Walnuts are an incredibly satiating food, thanks to their combo of protein, fiber, and healthy fats. Including satiating foods in your diet can potentially help people eat less and ultimately lose weight,” says Lauren Manaker, MS, RDN, and author of The First-Time Mom’s Pregnancy Cookbook and Fueling Male Fertility.

In fact, walnuts are known to have incredibly high concentrations of omega-3 fatty acids—which are not only linked to weight loss but also can help improve heart health when used as a substitute for unhealthy fats.

RELATED: The 5 Best Nuts for Anti-Aging, Say Dietitians

Frozen vegetables are a great food item to stock up on because you don’t have to worry about finishing them before they go bad.

“While I love fresh veggies, if you are traveling, busy, or don’t have lots of time to shop, you can always take out the bag of frozen vegetables and add them to your lunch, dinner, or snack,” says Young.

You can pick out your favorite individual veggie or add a little variety to your plate by buying a bag of assorted veggies. Either way, all veggies are great for weight loss because, according to Young, they’re “low in calories and high in fiber and antioxidants.”6254a4d1642c605c54bf1cab17d50f1e

If you’re a seafood lover, you might benefit from keeping your supply of salmon well stocked. Whether frozen or fresh, the health benefits associated with salmon might prove advantageous to your diet as you work toward your weight-loss goals.

“Salmon is packed with omega-3 fatty acids, which is linked to promoting satiety and weight loss. This fish also contains protein, which offers a satiety factor, as well,” says Manaker. “Including salmon or other fatty fish in your diet two times a week may help people lose weight when it is a part of an overall balanced and healthy diet.”

Source link

The post 5 Foods to Have in Your Kitchen if You’re Trying to Lose Weight appeared first on Heal your health yourself.

When you’re parched, chugging water is the perfect thirst-quencher. It has no calories, and it hydrates you. The only problem? Plain old water can be boring when you’re craving some flavor and excitement, especially after a hard workout. Fortunately, sugar-loaded drinks aren’t your only alternative to standard-issue H2O.

Here are some sugar-free and no sugar drink options that are easy to find — even in your office’s soda machine or local Starbucks.

1. Sparkling Water

“It’s important to remember that you want to eat your calories, not drink them as a general rule,” explains Andrea N. Giancoli, MPH, RD. Sparkling water is like water’s more exciting, bubbly sister.

“Carbonated water (e.g., seltzer, sparkling water) is a fine alternative to the still stuff. Flavored seltzers for the most part are great,” says Michele Promaulayko, author of Sugar Free 3. “Just read the label to make sure there are no calories, no added sugars, or artificial sweeteners.” LaCroix is one option that is free of sugars, calories, sodium, and artificial ingredients.

2. Infused Water

There are tons of infused water products. The tricky part is choosing one without hidden sugar. Hint is flavor-infused water that offers all the benefits of agua without sugar or sweeteners.

3. Tea

“A cup of herbal tea is part of my nightly wind-down — I do ginger, lemon, licorice, or peppermint,” Promaulayko says. There are tons of options, so you can pick and choose your favorite flavor!

“You can drink unsweetened tea,” says Giancoli. “Or you can sweeten it with stevia, which has no calories.” Research has found natural, no-calorie sweeteners, such as stevia, to be safe and can be a healthy part of a balanced diet in moderation.

4. Matcha

Black, green, and herbal teas have antioxidants. Matcha has become a trendy green tea because it has a unique growing process to boost its health benefits. On its own, matcha green tea powder has very few calories and no sugar, but once you start turning it into lattes and other beverages, that changes. Lots of sugar and calories may be hiding out in those yummy matcha drinks.

“Many coffee and matcha tea drinks add sugar to reduce the bitterness,” Promaulayko says. So just make sure you pay attention to what’s actually in your drink!

5. Coffee

“Packed with natural antioxidants, black coffee is looking more and more like a health elixir in the eyes of modern science, and the natural caffeine gives your system a natural boost — mentally and physically,” Promaulayko says.

However, when it comes to hitting up your local coffee chain, three pumps of vanilla syrup in a latte can add a whopping amount of sugar, well over the 25-gram upper limit per day. A safer bet is sticking to coffee or cold brew without added sugar — and adding a minimal amount of dairy milk or whatever plant-based milk you use. “I take mine with a little milk and stevia,” Promaulayko says.

6. Sports Drinks

“Energy drinks and sports drinks are some of the emptiest braggarts about the energy and nutritional benefits of sugar,” Promaulayko says. “Don’t get me wrong. There are times when these drinks can be beneficial. But couch surfers and weekend gym warriors shouldn’t fool themselves. To your body, it’s essentially getting pretty colored sugar water.”

Sports drinks are designed to help replenish electrolytes and support hydration during intense exercise, but many of them contain lots of added sugar. A new generation of sports drinks have flipped the sugar-heavy formula by adding sweetness with stevia, or other no-calorie sweeteners.

Don’t Be Fooled by Juice

“With fruit juice, the fiber is gone, so the sugars hit your bloodstream unregulated,” Promaulayko says. Plus, green, fresh-squeezed, and organic juices have higher concentrations of natural sugars than you might expect.

What’s more, many juice drinks are loaded with extra sugar. “Whole fruits have naturally occurring sugar, but many ‘juice’ drinks add sugar or have very little real fruit in them,” says Giancoli.

What About Alcohol?

Don’t be fooled by hard seltzers that boast their low sugar content. When you consume these beverages, you’re just trading calories from sugar for those from alcohol. These drinks may be low in or contain no added sugar, but you’re still adding to your daily calorie intake.

“As far as your body is concerned, alcohol behaves similarly to a sugar or a refined carb — it’s just empty calories,” Promaulayko says. “And your body will use it as an energy source rather than burning fat.”

Source link

The post 6 No Added Sugar Drinks That Are Perfect If You’re Sick of Water appeared first on Heal your health yourself.

If you’re involved in a car accident that isn’t your fault, or not entirely your fault, you can pursue compensation to cover the cost of things like lost earnings and medical expenses.

But what happens if you’re hit by a taxi or a driver who works on behalf of a ridesharing company like Uber? Who’s liable?

Let’s explore the topic in detail.

Who’s Liable If You’re Hit By A Taxi?

In the majority of cases, if a taxi hits your vehicle and the cab driver is responsible for the accident, both the taxi driver and the taxi company can be liable. But ultimately, the responsibility lies with the taxi company.

A reputable taxi firm will always have liability insurance in place to protect other drivers, the taxi driver, and passengers in the cab.

If you are in a car accident with a taxi, in addition to contacting your insurance company, you should get in touch with a lawyer who has experience in such cases to explore your legal options.

Who’s Liable If You’re Hit By An Uber Or Another Rideshare Vehicle?

If your vehicle is hit by a ridesharing car, like an Uber, you should also get in touch with an experienced law firm. An Uber accident lawyer will be able to give you sound legal advice and help you pursue a rideshare accident claim.

However, liability gets a little more complicated when the accident involves a ridesharing company like Uber or Lyft. While the rideshare driver is usually the one who is liable, due to the fact that he or she was the one driving the car, the driver’s insurance policy may not be adequate to compensate you for the injuries you sustain. So, many victims pursue holding the rideshare companies to account for the negligence or recklessness of their drivers.

In recent years, the number of lawsuits against companies like Uber and Lyft has steadily increased. But both Uber and Lyft have attempted to avoid responsibility for accidents that are caused by their drivers. Their reasoning is that, unlike taxi drivers, rideshare drivers are basically independent contractors. They don’t work directly for the likes of Uber and Lyft. Those companies have often claimed that they are not responsible for injuries caused by road accidents because they’re not actually employers. They merely operate mobile applications that connect drivers and passengers.

Well, ridesharing companies may use such reasoning to shield them from liability when their drivers hit vehicles, but that doesn’t mean the courts agree. Ridesharing companies can sometimes be held liable for a car accident.

So, How Does Insurance Work For Uber And Other Ridesharing Companies?

At present, both Uber and Lyft provide a $1 million insurance policy for drivers and passengers that are injured in car accidents that involve the companies’ drivers.

That means injured parties can claim compensation for things like medical costs.

Also, Uber requires all of its drivers to carry state-mandated minimums for their own personal insurance coverage.

Summing Up

Who is liable in the event that your vehicle is hit by a taxi, Uber, or another rideshare vehicle ultimately depends on the specific circumstances of your car accident. But either the driver or the company, or both, can be held responsible.

To ensure you receive the best possible compensatory outcome and hold the responsible party to account, you should contact a skillful lawyer who has experience in taxi and ridesharing accident cases. You can then explore your legal options and pursue the compensation that you deserve. However, as long as you remember to always drive safely, such as not using your phone when driving or using techniques to reduce stress while driving, you can reduce your risk of being involved in an accident in the first place.

Source link

The post Who’s Liable For A Car Accident If You’re Hit By A Taxi, Uber, Or Rideshare Vehicle? appeared first on Heal your health yourself.

Many people only feel they are comfortable in their home environment more than anywhere else. Anxiety is one of those things that can affect us in any setting, and while you may feel comfortable at home if you ever experience anxiety when you are out in public, what are some of the things you can do? Here are 4 ways to manage your anxiety when you’re on the move:

A Metaphorical Comfort Blanket

Sometimes we can all benefit from having that sense of comfort between us in the world. A comfort blanket can help ground us and make us feel like we are at home. If we are anxious, we can start to ground ourselves with certain habits, for example, chewing gum and focusing on that sensation, or bringing a certain smell with us in perfume form. You could also have a healthy habit. Something like CBD tinctures that you can put into some water can make a big difference to how you feel in the moment. When we are anxious we lose touch with where we are, so having those anchors to keep us focused will make a big difference.

Repeating A Mantra

Regardless of whether you are into meditation or not, repeating a mantra in your head does a lot to take over any negative trains of thought. If you are walking along, a mantra that has a sense of rhythm like “I’m safe, I’m safe, I’m safe,” is a great way to help us feel connected. As the brain cannot tell the difference between what is real and what is imagined if you start to give yourself the signals that you want, a mantra or affirmation is going to really help in the situation.

Stimulate Your Vagus Nerve

Your vagus nerve is a key part of your parasympathetic nervous system, which is what keeps you calm. Therefore, stimulating your vagus nerve by breathing slowly through the belly and exhaling longer than inhaling can fight stress. Another tactic can be to move your eyes to 9 o’clock. Keeping your eyes focused at 9 o’clock and waiting for a swallow or a yawn is a very quick way to stimulate relaxation. Additionally, you can stimulate your vagus nerve through mindfulness, Omega-3s, probiotics and yoga.

Have A Plan

Anxiety can cause problems for a lot of people when they don’t know what they are doing. Feeling more in control can do a lot to prevent us from making any sudden decisions that stimulate anxiety and panic. If the day is mapped out for you, this can make a big difference but additionally, you can also make enough time so you don’t have to push yourself into that anxiety zone. If you worry about missing a deadline, whether it’s work-related or getting somewhere, making a plan of where you’re going and adding in contingency time will prevent that need to rush around.

Being on the move is something we all need to do, and as a result it’s hardly surprising that worry can creep in. Hopefully, some of these tricks will make a big difference in helping you to manage your anxiety.

Source link

The post 4 Ways To Manage Your Anxiety When You’re On The Move appeared first on Heal your health yourself.

Losing belly fat is such a frustrating goal for so many people because it can be difficult to pinpoint a specific food or behavior that’s the root cause of weight gain. There are many, many ways we can sabotage our efforts to eat healthily and lose weight. After all, food is everywhere we turn today, and the greatest volume of options seem to be those high in calories and in enticing flavors that keep us eating more and more.

That’s why dietitians are so adamant about practicing mindful eating. It’s that awareness of the temptations and our responses to them (the munching without thinking) that can give us the greatest control over what and how much we consume. So, to put mindful eating into practice, put these fat-loss wrecking habits on your radar. Then try these Mindfulness Hacks to Lose Weight.

We’ve been indoctrinated into thinking that eating as little as possible is the most effective way to lose weight when that approach often backfires.

“Not only can this lead to increased cravings and potentially feeling more out of control around food, but entering the starvation zone can slow down your metabolism through adaptive thermogenesis,” says medical board member Lisa Moskovitz, RD, a registered dietitian with the NY Nutrition Group and author of The Core 3 Healthy Eating Plan.

Your body needs a certain number of calories and nutrients to function properly. Threatening that basic need can cause your body “to hold onto fat cells and send your body into a protective, premature plateau instead of burning body fat,” she says.

If you’re not eating foods in their whole, natural form regularly, you are likely eating too many overly processed, empty-calorie foods like cakes, cookies, and the like that can sabotage your weight loss efforts.6254a4d1642c605c54bf1cab17d50f1e

“Processed foods tend to be high in calories, saturated fat and added sugar and low in nutrients your body needs to stay healthy,” says medical expert Toby Amidor, MS, RD, CND, author of the best-selling Diabetes Create Your Plate Meal Prep Cookbook. “There’s no need to stay completely away from these foods but try to fill up on wholesome foods like fruits, vegetables, whole grains, nuts, seeds, lean protein, low/nonfat milk and dairy, and healthy fats first and then if you are craving sweets, make it a small portion.”

Leafy greens are powerhouse weight-loss foods. Why? They deliver mostly water and healthy nutrients for very few calories.

“Fresh leafy greens from spinach to kale to romaine lettuce take up a significant volume on our plate and help ‘trick’ us into feeling more satiated,” says medical board member Molly Hembree, MS, RD, LD. “Leafy greens provide only about 5-10 calories per cup, and this barely makes a dent in our calorie needs for a meal or snack. They also provide fiber, vitamins A and C, folate, and other beneficial compounds to help control our health and body weight.”

You can turn a healthful, fresh vegetable salad into a total calorie bomb and not even realize it by pouring on heavy salad dressings, warn medical experts Tammy Lakatos Shames, RDN, CDN, CFT, and Lyssie Lakatos, RDN, CDN, CFT, also known as The Nutrition Twins. Creamy dressings like ranch and Caesar can pack about 12 grams of fat and more than 140 calories in a two-tablespoon serving (and most people use more).

“Instead of calorie-dense oils and fatty dressings, use lemon; spritz it on salads, vegetables, fish, chicken, rice dishes, and more,” they say. “It’s a flavor-enhancing trick used by top chefs to build a lot of flavor while keeping meals light.”

Research suggests lemon’s polyphenol antioxidants may help to suppress body weight and body fat accumulation.

“Fiber helps keep us full and break the cycle of overeating that may lend to excess calorie consumption and weight gain,” says Hembree.

But bland oatmeal isn’t your only option.

“Berries, ideally blackberries or raspberries, have a high-fiber content at five grams or more per serving,” she says. “Throw blackberries into your next oatmeal or raspberries into your next pudding or yogurt parfait.”

You’ve heard the term “liquid lunch.” It doesn’t only mean having a beer at noontime. High-calorie beverages are often a sneaky way to consume more calories every day than you realize. Make water, sparkling water, and unsweetened iced tea your go-to beverages.

“We tell patients to reconsider any drinkable calories, like soda, juice, and even healthy ‘green’ smoothies or juices, because they are not typically seen as a meal,” says Avantika Waring, MD, and Chief Medical Officer at 9am.health. “Most of them contain sugar. Make sure to check the nutrition facts on all beverages you buy and drink.”

Are you in the habit of shaking those paper sugar packets before dumping them into your coffee shop beverage? Satisfying, isn’t it? Or maybe you prefer squirting those sugary flavored syrups into your coffee. Sweetening your beverages or cereal with sugar can add up to lots of added sugar calories without you realizing it.

The Nutrition Twins recommend replacing sugar with cinnamon. “You’ll avoid the extra calories, and the inflammation sugar causes that’s linked to weight gain,” they say. Plus, cinnamon has weight loss and blood sugar benefits.”

A 2019 study in the International Journal of Food Science suggests that as little as a 1/3 teaspoon a day of cinnamon can lower blood sugar, cholesterol, and triglycerides.

“Sprinkle cinnamon in your coffee, cereal, smoothies, popcorn, yogurt, oatmeal, muffins, baked goods, and more,” the Nutrition Twins advise.

Don’t ditch your friends, but do be aware that social pressure can certainly lead to a higher food intake at dinner than you really planned on.

“Whether it’s an alcoholic drink or getting several desserts, having friends around who don’t necessarily support your weight loss efforts can be difficult,” says Amidor. “Your best bet is to review the menu in advance and determine, based on your intake for the day, what you’ll be eating. It is okay to leave room for dessert if you know your friends like to order it, but recommend sharing one dessert with one or two other people.”

Stepping on a weight scale can be a useful tool for losing weight. Or not. For one, it doesn’t always accurately reflect the progress you’re making in losing body fat.

“Relying too much on total pounds can be discouraging and make it difficult to stay motivated,” says Moskovtiz. “Instead of worrying about your weight, pay attention to non-scale successes such as improvement in energy, digestion, sleep, and mood stability.”

A more reliable way to get accurate numbers if you need them to stay motivated is body composition analysis, which reveals your body fat versus muscle mass versus water weight.

All of the behaviors written above are just words if you don’t remember them. So, grab a pen.

“The best tool to help you recognize self-sabotaging behaviors is by keeping a journal,” says Moskovitz. “Don’t just track the food you eat, but also portions, hunger and fullness levels, emotions involved around mealtime, and where you are during the meal. Writing down food behaviors in real time is a highly effective method to stay accountable and self-aware.”

Need proof? Check out what this New Study Says About Online Weight Loss Programs.

Source link

The post 10 Ways You’re Wrecking Your Belly Fat Loss Goals, Say Dietitians — Eat This Not That appeared first on Heal your health yourself.

Life is a battleground, we need to keep fighting until our appointed time on earth comes. So, in this post, you will see the best of the best life tips you have never heard before. These tips are life-changing and can change you immediately. Let’s go!

1. Be independent 

Hundreds of millions of people make this mistake. We depend on people like us. “he will get it done for me, she will get it done for me”. You rely heavily on people and guess what, you are making a big mistake. 

There are a lot of people that have helped others and perhaps time changes for them, they become poor and rely on the people they have helped, guess what comes out at the end of this reliance? Disappointment, promises backed by failures, etc. 

Who are you depending on? Who is that person you can’t do without when getting things in your life done? If there is anyone, you are making a big mistake. And starting today, all you have to do is add a prefix – what if!

“What if my friend stops helping me, what if I get disappointed by people I trust with my life, what if they neglect me and turn me down”.

A man or woman that depends on people like him is equal to a feeble pillar holding the four corners of a house. What happens when the feeble pillar falls? The man’s house falls down super-flat. Your trust should only be in Jesus. Man can fail us at any time but God is always faithful till his Kingdom comes. 

2. Love your neighbor as yourself 

The gravity of this word is enough to shatter the whole earth into pieces. 

Only if the whole world just kept this simple commandment Christ Jesus gave then, there will be no murders, poverty, greediness, anger, envy, betrayal, disappointment, etc. 

Why are there such things in the world? Because we hate ourselves. As long as you are fine all is well. You care about yourself only, selfish, you have and yet you cannot give. 

Those are the characteristics of over 90% of the 7.6 billion humans on earth. Why can’t you do to others what you would have them do to you? Why can’t you help that suffering neighbor who needs food? Then, a lot of people will say 

“Go away from here beggar, what did you do with your youth, I can’t give you a dime, beggar”. Why are we so cruel? This is the best tip you must dear to your heart. 

No matter what you have, no matter how little or in whatever way you can help. Help people, show them love, love them as you love yourself. Don’t forget this, today’s beggar, uneducated, debtor, poor person, etc can later become the greatest person in the world tomorrow. 

“Don’t settle for what life gives you; make life better and build something.” — Ashton Kutcher

3. Have a growth mindset

A growth mindset is what makes one successful and go far in life. However, a fixed and stagnated mindset throws one into jeopardy of life.

A lot of people have a fixed mindset, what they believe is what they believe, nothing you say on earth can change their mindset, they are the most educated in the world so they don’t need to learn any further. Did you have a fixed or growth mindset?

A growth mindset leads to success, achievements, happiness, learning more, and becoming better. On the other hand, a fixed mindset leads to complacency, pride, lack of achievement, ignorance, the stagnancy of the mind, etc. 

Let’s see an example of someone with a fixed mindset:

Cait tells Alice: Alice stop being so proud it’s annoying. 

And Alice responds:

“How dare you say I am proud, I am not. I am the most humble woman on earth”. In the example, Alice with a fixed mindset has a fixed mindset. However, what she does not know is that she is in the darkness of her ignorance. She is ignorant of the fact that she is a proud person thus, she can’t see it. 

People with a fixed mindset are ignorant. You must never have a fixed mindset. Always be willing to learn and to grow with humility. Pride can take you nowhere. 

4. Forgive everyone and give as many second chances as you can  

A lot of people have done all they could to be happy and have peace. But, they find out that happiness is not just there and that peace of mind is absent. 

Why is that? It is because you have a lot of grudge against people that have offended you. Yes, we know, it pained you to your heart, and what next? Keep malice? But, do you know what that unforgiveness does to you?

I call it the seed of unforgiveness because it plants a seed in your heart and this seed further grows to become hatred, depression, lack of freedom, zero peace, etc. 

If in only one person’s heart are all these things, then a person like that can never know peace and happiness. For example, if you were to go to a party with your friends and you hear that perhaps the other friend that you keep malice with is coming to the same party. 

Naturally, the only thing you would think of is not going to the party anymore because you want to avoid the person at all costs. And what does that add to you? It doesn’t add instead, it subtracts from your life because you could have gone to the party, had fun, and even have new friends or even new opportunities.

If not for anything will you forgive people, forgive them for the sake of God, for the sake of Christ Jesus. Because if you cannot forget the trespass of people, don’t expect God to forgive you. Forgive everyone, give them as many second chances as possible. 

Mind you, they can still mess up and make terrible mistakes all you have to do is keep forgiving them. This may not be so easy to the flesh. However, it is only The Spirit of God that can make you forgive the trespass of people. Without The Holy Spirit, it is impossible to do so. 

5. Love God

Do you love God? Are you a child of God? Do you believe in Christ Jesus? Even if the rest of the tips on these lists do not resonate with you, I want you to hold this very important to your heart which is to Love God with all your heart, soul, and strength.

And you can do that only by being a child of God. This life is too short. It is like a vapor, it is nothing. Life is more like an empty barrel that makes noise. You will grow old, your strength will leave you and you will die but, what happens after that? Where are you going to spend the rest of your eternity? 

Source link

The post 4 Lies You Keep Telling Yourself When You’re Afraid to Do Something appeared first on Heal your health yourself.

A few months ago, after decades of solo entrepreneurship, I took a job as a freelance writer.

I knew there would be an uphill learning curve, but I believed that a certain amount of stress would be good for me. In fact, studies show that some amount of stress is healthy, for many reasons.

Fast forward to a snapshot of me at the end of day one of my new job: I was camped out on the couch, so completely wiped out that I could not muster the energy to get up and make myself a cup of tea. My mind was a puddle.

A conversation between my husband and me went a little like this:

“What do you want for dinner?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” I answered. “Whatever.”

“Would you like a glass of wine?”

I nodded.

“Red or white?”

“Um, I don’t know.”

“Are you okay?”

I wasn’t okay. And I wasn’t just stressed out after a busy day. I was completely overwhelmed. I sat immobile for several hours, presumably watching television, but not really seeing anything. I felt frozen, mute, and completely checked out from the family activities going on around me.

I had been excited about the opportunity to learn and grow, and I’ve never minded getting in a little over my head. But I’d taken in far more than I could digest for one day. Perhaps there should be a condition called “mental indigestion”, for that describes how I felt.

Overtime, I got the hang of this job, and the overwhelm shifted to something more manageable—something that I would simply label “stress.” In that state, I was able to make good decisions, know what I needed, ask for help, and communicate it all with effectiveness and clarity.

But overwhelm is a whole different ball game. You can’t “positive self-talk” your way out of this state. And you can’t follow through with any of the usual advice that applies when we’re stressed, such as delegate, prioritize, ask for help, or set boundaries.When you’re overwhelmed, you might also feel:

• Ungrounded
• Unable to make decisions
• Unable to think/see clearly
• Forgetful
• Scattered
• Disconnected from your intuition and heart center

When you’re overwhelmed, your mind is like a kite flying loose in the air, handle and all. Telling yourself to “calm down” or “do something” or whatever else you might say to yourself is akin to demanding the kite fly in a straight line.

There doesn’t seem like much you can do but hope that circumstances change. But, if you can at least find the wherewithal to identify that you’re in an overwhelmed state, you can bring that kite—and your mind—back down to earth.

Here’s how to start.

1. Create a safe space

First, know that a state of overwhelm is not the time to make important decisions about things that matter, like relationships, or jobs, or opportunities. It’s also not a good time to set boundaries, or speak your truth to someone. This is because overwhelm separates our minds from our bodies. Thus, any decisions you make or words you say will be disconnected from your heart and gut. You might very well come to regret them later.
Instead, it’s time to create a safe space for yourself, just as you would for an out-of-control toddler. One way to do this is to create self-care bookends that become unbreakable habits.
By self-care bookends, I mean establishing a fixed morning and evening routine. They do not need to be long, fancy, or complicated. They just need to be repeated regularly, no matter what happens during the day.
Some examples:

• Begin each morning with a gratitude practice (list out things you’re grateful for). In the evening, spend 15-minutes doing mindful breathing.
• Start your day with gentle stretching. End each day with a relaxation practice.
• Journal your intentions for the day each morning. Close your day by listening to some calming music.

(If you’re in a state of overwhelm and choosing from those three is too much to ask, do the last one.)
The idea is that even when you’re in a state of overwhelm during the day, there’s a place and time when it all comes to a stop. Now, your mind cannot travel any further away from your body. You just might find that you’ll be able to reach up and grab that handle.
When is the best time to create self-care bookends? Ideally, when you’re not in a state of overwhelm. That way, even when you’re zoned out from overwhelm, you simply move through your routine, as habitually as you would brush your teeth.

2. Use the Ayurvedic principle of “opposites heal”

According to Ayurveda, the science of self-healing, overwhelm is a symptom of an unbalanced Vata dosha. Vata dosha is made up of the elements of Air and Ether, and as such is cool, light, and dry by nature.

To bring yourself back into balance, you can use the principle of Opposites Heal. This means that you bring in the qualities of warm, heavy, and moist. Think root vegetables, warm soups, a soft blanket, hot bath, or sitting by a fire. These choices will have the desired effect of warming and grounding your mind.

“The truth is that stress doesn’t come from your boss, your kids, your spouse, traffic jams, health challenges, or other circumstances. It comes from your thoughts about your circumstances.” ―Andrew Bernstein

3. Reduce sensory input

Overwhelm is a state of being “overloaded”—too much sensory input and not enough time to digest it all. We are not computers; we are not meant to simply store information. We need time to digest and rest.

When you’re overwhelmed, it’s time to reduce the input through all five senses. Some examples:

• Taste: Choose simple foods and meals over complex tastes
• Sight: Turn down the lights
• Sound: Move away from noisy, chaotic environments
• Smell: Use essential oils in the bath, or even a favorite scented candle or lotion
• Touch: Slip into comfortable clothing or curl under a pile of warm blankets

4. Let someone take care of you

For those of us who consider ourselves strong and capable, it’s hard to ask for help. But now more than ever you would benefit from letting someone else take over for you—whether it’s ordering or making dinner, canceling an appointment on your behalf, or checking off some other small task to lighten the load.

5. Be gentle and patient with yourself

When you’re in a state of overwhelm, be extra gentle with yourself. Don’t criticize yourself for not being able to make decisions, or for needing help. The very nature of being overwhelmed makes it nearly impossible to settle into your body—particularly the heart, gut, and emotional centers—where the best decisions and boundaries are known and can be communicated clearly and effectively.

Summary

You might not be able to motivate your way out of a state of overwhelm. But you can take your power back by creating self-care boundaries, using the Ayurvedic principle of Opposites Heal, reducing sensory input, letting others help you, and generally being patient and gentle with yourself.

Day by day, you will start to notice that you can think more clearly, and you will soon know what decisions and boundaries need to be made and set in order to reduce the overwhelm you experience over time.

Source link

The post 5 Things to Do When You’re Beyond Stressed appeared first on Heal your health yourself.

You know the feeling – the one that leaves you weak in the knees when you meet someone new, and sparks fly.

You want to be around each other constantly, and you desperately want to please each other.

The beginning stages of relationships are exciting and consume much of your time and energy.

This is normal to an extent, but what happens when you become overly involved or attached and leave your friends, family, and independence in the dust?

What Does Losing Yourself in a Relationship Mean? 

While changes to your routine in a new relationship are normal to an extent, problems occur when you experience a loss of individuality as a result. You tend to get sucked into the “we” or the “he/she” and lose too much of the “you.”

It happens gradually, in small ways, and it stems from the rush of hormones you experience with your exciting, new connection. 

Your focus is more on the chemistry and physical attraction between your partner and you, making you less likely to notice any potential relationship red flags. It feels good to feel good, and you want more of those happy feelings.

Is It Normal to Lose Yourself in a Relationship? 

Some changes are natural in relationships. You have someone new with whom to dine, make plans, and share experiences. 

It’s normal to want to spend time with your partner – after all, that’s how you get to know each other and determine if you want to grow your relationship.

However, it’s not normal to abandon everything you are and everyone you know to be closer to your partner. 

21 Signs You’re Losing Yourself in a Relationship 

It may be obvious when happening to a friend, but losing yourself in a relationship can be hard to spot when it happens to you.

You may be just beginning to lose your identity, or it could be long gone. Read on to learn about red flags that point to a loss of self in your relationship.

1. You don’t prioritize any “me” time.

Alone time is a crucial part of maintaining your identity.

If you find yourself avoiding solo activities you used to enjoy, you might want to take a step back and examine why that is. 

Canceling your regular massage, skipping your daily gym workouts, or restructuring your ever-important morning routine in favor of spending time with your boyfriend or girlfriend are potential relationship red flags.

2. You’ve abandoned your social life.

Your previously overflowing social calendar overflows no more. You see your friends and family a lot less, or maybe not at all anymore. 

You don’t talk to them or have time for them, and it takes you days to return texts and phone calls–if you return them at all. 

If you no longer talk to the once-important people in your life, you might be losing yourself.

3. Your partner is your sole focus.

Everything you do is for him or “us.” You gravitate toward the clothes he likes to see you in, the foods and drinks he enjoys, and the activities he prefers.

You feel entirely responsible for their happiness and feelings, and you adopt them as your own. Beyond general concern for your partner’s life and well-being, you are obsessed with meeting every need and solving every problem.

4. You can’t think or talk about anything or anyone else.

It’s normal to think about your partner a lot, especially in the beginning stages of your relationship. But difficulty focusing on or thinking about other things or spending too much time figuring out their wants and needs is unhealthy.

Genuine friends are happy for you when you start a new relationship but notice if you talk about your partner and your relationship so much that others find it annoying.

5. You’ve replaced “I/me/mine” with “we/us/ours.”

It’s natural to experience a change in pronoun usage when you’re in a relationship, but automatically including your partner in everything you say and do is not. 

You assume invitations include them, and you always include your partner when expressing your likes – WE love wine tasting, WE love reading, WE want to see that band next summer. 

This pattern results in a loss of individuality. 

6. Your opinions are no longer your own.

Legitimately changing your mind about something after your partner presents a strong argument or proof to support another point of view is different from changing your opinions to keep the peace or because you feel uncomfortable disagreeing.

Always seeing things from your partner’s perspective without regard for your own values and beliefs is a huge indicator of being lost in your relationship.

7. You no longer pursue your dreams and goals.

Your focus is on your partner’s dreams, goals, and desires. Your needs and wants have been pushed aside, and you’ve lost your determination and dedication to learn and grow. 

Unsure of or uncomfortable with what you want or how you feel, you put more effort into trying to help your partner than trying to figure out what’s best for you.

8. You question your feelings.

You’re unsure of your feelings and confused by your desires. You feel uncertain about what you want, when you want it, how to go about getting it, and if it’s even worth pursuing. 

Your needs, wants, and desires have become so intertwined with your partner’s that it’s nearly impossible to tell where they end and where you begin.

9. You are codependent with your partner.

You’re not yourself, and the people closest to you notice it. You can’t do things without your partner, and all of your decisions revolve around them. 

You always ask for your partner’s opinion or permission before making decisions. It goes beyond just taking advice or accepting support–you wait for their approval.

Everything you do centers around what you think your partner’s opinion would be.

10. You minimize or downplay your differences.

You hesitate to express your opinion when it disagrees with your partner’s. You feign interest in things they like and force yourself to participate–not to understand and support them, but in an attempt to impress.

Your need for connections leads you to take the blame for everything that goes wrong, excusing and even supporting behaviors that previously went against your morals and standards.

11. You miss being single.

You long for the days when you weren’t romantically attached – back when you did whatever you wanted, whenever you wanted, with whoever you wanted, without having to update your partner.

You reminisce about the fun things you used to do, the friends you used to spend time with, the activities that used to occupy your time, and how easy it used to be to decide what was for dinner.

12. You’re the only one who compromises.

What to watch, where to eat, and who to hang out with next weekend are all up to your partner. 

There’s a lack of give-and-take between you, and you are quick to compromise when your opinions differ. You are always the one to give in and settle for something else, something they prefer, even when you flat out don’t like it. 

It’s okay to give in sometimes, but more give than take leads to serious problems.

13. You pass on opportunities. 

However big or small, life-changing or minute, you often pass on opportunities you would say yes to if you weren’t in a relationship – road trips with friends, the chance to meet a mentor, a big job offer, or a scholarship. 

Things that take you away from your partner or create long distances between you – even little things like dinner with friends or spending the day at a public pool on a hot summer day – are cast aside without another thought.

14. Your relationship lacks boundaries.

If you and your partner don’t communicate what is and is not okay in your relationship, you are at risk of being taken advantage of and having your privacy invaded. Unclear or nonexistent boundaries can lead to a general disrespect toward you. They can cause you to go along with things outside your comfort zone–things for which you later make excuses.

15. You always say yes.

Maybe you’re a people pleaser by nature. You can’t say no and tend to put your partner’s needs and preferences before your own. You give in to avoid fights. You abandon your values for fear of a breakup.

You may give up hobbies, interests, and other relationships willingly at first, while later, it may be because your partner makes you.

16. Your self-image is lacking.

When losing your identity in a relationship, your opinion of yourself goes downhill. 

It can result in self-doubt and a loss of confidence. You feel bad about yourself, and perhaps you don’t take time to maintain your appearance. You feel inadequate and unsatisfied with your ability to please your partner. You feel like you aren’t enough and will never be enough.

Your self-image depends on the way they see you. 

More Related Articles

29 Uplifting Quotes To Help You Stop Overthinking

15 Top Signs You Should Give Up On Him And Move On

11 Undeniable Signs It’s Time To Let Go Of A Relationship

17. Your emotions are all over the place.

Constant catering to your partner’s wants and needs is exhausting. 

This inability to relax can lead to symptoms of anxiety or depression. You may experience moodiness and feel like your opinions don’t matter or that everything is your fault. 

You doubt your values and abilities, and you feel like you can never please them no matter how hard you try.

18. You’ve become a control freak.

Feeling lost in a relationship can lead to perfectionism and the need for everything to go exactly your way. 

You try to control every aspect of and person in your life to compensate for not living up to your potential or not knowing who you are. You lack genuine joy and happiness and settle for a neutral numbness that lives inside you.

19. You’re on auto-pilot.

You feel like life is one big, long routine, and you’re simply going through the motions. 

You do the same things day in and day out. You lack drive, and everything feels like a chore–waking up, going to work, making dinner, doing the dishes, working out, walking the dog. 

The coveted excitement and appreciation that relationships usually bring don’t exist anymore.

20. You find ways to fill a void.

You know something is missing, and you seek other (often unhealthy) ways to feel fulfilled. 

You feel trapped and unhappy. So, you employ coping mechanisms like eating your feelings, abusing drugs, binge-watching Hulu, shopping until you drop, or overindulging in alcohol to avoid unpleasant emotions and uncomfortable conversations. 

To avoid these feelings, you may also use simpler distractions like being on your phone or working late.

21. You feel lost, or like you’ve sold yourself out.

Whether you finally believe the countless loved ones who have pointed out the changes in you, or you realize it yourself, you feel like a shell of who you used to be. 

You don’t know your values, beliefs, passions, or goals, but you recognize the differences in yourself. 

You follow along and allow your partner to define you. You do what you think you should do rather than what you want to do. 

What to Do If You Lose Yourself in a Relationship

Deciding how to reclaim your identity depends on how lost you are and whether your relationship can (or should) be salvaged.

Whether you’re just on the verge of saying, “I feel like I’m losing myself,” or you can full-on declare “I’ve lost myself,” there are steps you can take to recover your identity, commit to living your own life–and (likely) save your relationship.

• Create personal space and time. Spend time alone to relearn your favorite hobbies and interests, and then schedule more alone time to pursue them.
• Spend time with friends and family. Reconnect with loved ones you’ve neglected recently. Make a point to stay in touch and make plans regularly.
• Set boundaries and communicate them. Be open and honest about what you want, need, and feel, and encourage your partner to do the same.
• Do things without your partner. It’s great to do things together, but alone time is crucial to maintaining individuality. Balance your alone time and together time, so you’re both happy.
• Make time for self-care. Love, respect, and care for yourself. Make yourself happy. 
• Don’t over compromise. Create a healthy balance of give-and-take that allows you both to feel supported.
• Learn to say no. Stay true to your thoughts, beliefs, and preferences. Speak up when you disagree or if something makes you uncomfortable.

A healthy relationship is one in which you feel happy and connected to your partner while you each maintain your independence without feeling guilty or lying. 

You are worthy and capable of creating a meaningful connection with someone who loves you and wants the best for you.

Whether you decide to work on this relationship or cut ties and start fresh, you can 100% regain your independence and live a life you love–with or without a partner. 

Source link

The post 21 Signs You’re Losing Yourself in a Relationship appeared first on Heal your health yourself.

Do you wake up in a lousy mood nearly every day and ask yourself, “Why am I so unhappy?”

Before you even get out of bed, you feel stressed and negative. The world simply does not look like a happy place in your mind.

Like most of us, you may have some legitimately difficult things going on in your life. Maybe you’re worried about money, and that is undoubtedly stressful. Or you might have problems in one of your relationships or an issue at work.

Even though your life isn’t terrible and your problems aren’t devastating, it feels like a dark cloud follows you around everywhere, and you just can’t shake it.

My life is miserable.

Many people wake up with this feeling the moment they open their eyes. Every morning begins with anxiety, dissatisfaction, and negativity.

They can’t understand why things are so bad, why nothing is fun and enjoyable, and why they are so dissatisfied with life.

Of course, some people feel unhappy and negative because they are clinically depressed. They are suffering from an illness that impacts chemicals in their brains that affect mood.

Depression is a serious condition that requires medical treatment, so be sure you know the symptoms of depression.

But for this discussion, we’re referring to general unhappiness — not clinical depression. (Although chronic unhappiness can lead to depression.)

Do you often wonder, “Why am I so unhappy?”

Maybe you feel happiness is a random and fleeting feeling. Only when something really “good” happens in your life do you feel happy. Your happiness is totally dependent on outside events.

But we all know that sustained happiness comes from within. At least that’s what we’ve heard.

When you are in a state of near constant negativity and dissatisfaction with life, it’s hard to believe that happiness comes from within.

• How can it come from within when within you feel so unhappy?

• How can you “make yourself” feel happy when you aren’t?

It may not be possible to “make yourself” feel happy. But you can set up the conditions that foster happiness — and you can eliminate the conditions, thoughts, and behaviors that foster sadness and feeling miserable.  Let’s look at these for a minute.

What causes a person to be unhappy?

If you are frequently unhappy, you may have thinking habits and life conditions that contribute to your unhappy life.

Here are 15 top reasons you create more dissatisfaction and negativity in your life.

1. You compare yourself to others.

The more we define ourselves by what other people have, how they look, or what they have achieved, the sadder we become.

The constant longing for something different and the feelings of jealousy that comparison creates will agitate you and make you feel unhappy.

How often do you compare yourself? Pay attention to this sadness and begin to drop this bad habit.

2. You dwell on the negative.

You have a bad habit of ruminating on negative possibilities or situations. We all have a “negativity bias,” tending to focus more on unpleasant thoughts, interactions, and events.

When you don’t resist this bias and allow your negative thoughts free reign, you make it increasingly difficult to feel happy. Your feelings always follow the trajectory of your thoughts.

3. You worry.

Just like dwelling on negative thoughts, worry will propel you down a rabbit hole of despair.

Worry is anxiety about a future you can’t control. You feel helpless and hopeless because you anticipate bad outcomes even when there’s no evidence of them.

Your inability to control the situations you worry about and your sense of helplessness prevents you from feeling positive about anything.

4. You’re holding on to anger.

You may have someone in your life who has hurt or offended you, and you just can’t let it go. You feel wronged, disrespected, or treated unkindly.

You think about the person or situation constantly and feel increasingly put out by it. You didn’t deserve it. It shouldn’t have gone down the way it did. They need to apologize right now.

It’s hard to feel happy when you are filled with anger and resentment. These negative feelings take over your thoughts, leading to bitterness and irritability.

5. You’re in debt.

Money worries can feel overwhelming and cloud an otherwise happy life with worry and grief.

When you’re constantly reminded that you owe money, you feel bad about yourself and unhappy with life. Just beginning the process of paying off your debt will make you feel lighter and happier.

Need help with it? Read The Total Money Makeover: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness.

6. You surround yourself with unhappy people.

We are products of our environments. If you are surrounded by people who are negative and unhappy, they are going to infect you with their mood.

Identify the people in your life who are frequently unhappy, and try to spend less time with them. Seek out people who have a positive and happy demeanor and attitude.

7. You’re bored.

When you don’t have something going on in your life that is fun, engaging, or challenging, you will feel bored and uninspired. Life will feel flat and meaningless.

You don’t have to spend a lot of money to find something interesting to do with your time. Call a friend. Start walking or running. Join a book club.

Staying active and around other people is a great antidote to unhappiness.

8. You hate your job.

Since we spend so many hours a day at work, if you hate your job, you are spending most of your day unhappy. But you do have the power to change that.

What is it you hate about your job? Is there anything you can change about it? If not, then start looking for another job. Just giving yourself permission to look will give you a happiness boost.

9. You don’t like your appearance.

In this youth and beauty-focused culture, it’s not surprising so many people feel unhappy about the way they look.

It’s hard to feel attractive when the standards for attractiveness have been set so unrealistically high. Look around you, and you’ll notice that most people are simply average in appearance (especially compared to models and celebrities).

Make the most of your appearance by taking care of yourself, exercising, and dressing well. Look in the mirror every morning and tell yourself you love and accept yourself just as you are.

10. You don’t have a significant other.

Everyone wants that special person in their lives, the one love who makes us feel happy and complete. When you are alone in a world of couples, life can be pretty lonely.

If you find you are spending a lot of time alone or with couples, it’s time to find some single friends. Join single’s clubs or meet-ups, sign up for a dating service, join a gym where singles hang out.

And while you are looking for your true love, appreciate all of the benefits of being single.

11. You’re in a bad relationship.

Those who are in a relationship can become very unhappy if the relationship starts to sour. If you’re constantly thinking, “Why am I so unhappy in my relationship?” then you can count on your life being pretty bleak until you sort it out.

When you’re married or in a committed partnership, your world revolves around your partner and the health of your relationship. When things go south, your life feels like a mess.

You may constantly feel tense and angry or wounded and unloved. You may worry that the relationship is going to fall apart or that your partner will leave you — or that you need to leave him or her.

12. You aren’t paying attention to your health.

If you feel bad physically, it will take a toll on your state of mind.

If you don’t get enough sleep, if you are spending too many hours working, if you haven’t addressed a chronic health issue, you are going to feel depleted and unhappy.

Your physical health can impact everything else in your life, so do what needs to be done to get healthy.

13. You’re too focused on money and material things.

The longing for more money and more toys is the cause of so much dissatisfaction and unhappiness in life.

Money and things might provide a temporary boost of happiness, but then you quickly become bored and long for the next thing or a higher income.

Place more emphasis on relationships, experiences, and personal growth.

14. You have a victim mentality.

You may have had some traumatic or difficult situations in your past — situations that merited feeling unhappy and depressed.

But your trauma around those events has infected your life for years or even decades. You’ve become so attached to being a victim that you’ve forgotten how to take control of your life and create the conditions for the happiness you long for.

It may take some work with a therapist to overcome this roadblock, but you can heal and step into your own power to make your life what you want it to be.

15. You’re a perfectionist.

It’s hard to be happy when you are never good enough. You are deeply uncomfortable with your flaws and failures and can’t be satisfied until you’re perfect.

The harder you try to mold yourself and your environment into the ideal picture you envision, the more stressed and anxious you become. As you realize you can’t achieve perfection, you grow extremely unhappy and exhausted.

Self-acceptance and self-compassion are your only exit ramps away from this impossible mindset.

How do I stop being so unhappy?

In addition to eliminating conditions from your life that foster unhappiness, you can also begin to add conditions that have been proven to boost our happiness levels.

In her book, The How of Happiness, Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky reveals her research on what makes people feel happy. Here are some of the happiness-fostering strategies she outlines.

1. Count your blessings.

Focus your thoughts on all of the good things and people you have in your life. Express sincere gratitude out loud or by journaling your feelings every day in a gratitude journal.

Focusing on the positive will actually change your brain chemistry and boost happiness feelings.

2. Cultivate optimism.

Actively begin to change your outlook from negative to positive. Expect good things to happen, even if you have to fake it at first.

Write a vision for yourself of your ideal life circumstances and review it regularly. Again, practicing optimism will begin to change your brain and feelings.

3. Practice acts of kindness.

When you do good things for others and see how it positively impacts them, you feel happier. You know this instinctively, but it’s nice to know research has proven it.

Take a meal to a sick neighbor. Say “Thank you” to the check-out person at the grocery store. Lend a hand to a friend who is moving.

A little bit of kindness goes a long way in lifting your mood and increasing your feelings of happiness.

4. Nurture your relationships.

Our relationships are key to our happiness — not just our romantic relationships but those with our friends, family, and children.

Who are the people most important in your life? Who would you like to get closer to?

Begin to cultivate and actively work on improving your relationships.

• Learn how to communicate better.

• Resolve any lingering conflicts.

• Take more time to spend with these people.

• Learn how to listen actively so they feel heard.

• Tell them how much you appreciate them.

Research has proven that having close and healthy relationships is the number one predictor of happiness.

5. Relive happy times mentally.

Just thinking about happy events from the past can make you feel happier.

Instead of letting your “negativity bias” run rampant, choose to think about what has made you happy in the past.

Take some time every day to review past joys either in your mind or by writing in a journal.

Try to remember and feel the feelings you experienced during those joyful times.

6. Practice forgiveness.

When we hold on to a hurt or a grudge, it’s like a thorn that continues to poke us and undermine our joy.

Nothing good comes from staying angry or hurt. Let it go. Forgive. Move on.

Even if the offending person hasn’t apologized or accepted responsibility, don’t allow their lack of consideration to infect you.

You have the power and the choice to forgive regardless of how others behave.

7. Practice your religion, spirituality, or personal growth.

Research has shown that people who are active in their faith or personal growth are happier.

They are focused on improvement and something bigger than themselves that removes them from focusing on ego-based concerns.

An essential part of personal growth is recognizing that happiness is an inside job. When you actively pursue your personal evolution, you come to this realization sooner than others might.

Is it OK to be unhappy?

Everyone is unhappy from time to time — and often with good reason. Life is fraught with conflict, disappointments, and challenges. Being unhappy about these situations is natural and is often a motivator to make positive and necessary change.

You don’t need to feel guilty about being unhappy or pretend to be happy when you’re not. Social media, in particular, can make you feel like you’re the only person who doesn’t have an amazing, joy-filled life. And this makes you feel even worse.

However, remaining unhappy for weeks or months is not healthy. It can lead to inertia, loneliness, and depression. Use your unhappiness as a clue to what’s going on in your inner world (or outer world) that is stealing your joy.

Then take action to address the root cause of your discontent. Practice some of the strategies outlined above to begin to turn your mood around and get unstuck.

More Related Articles:

Positive Affirmations: 101 Life-Changing Thoughts To Practice Daily

21 Happy Thoughts To Help You Snap Out Of A Negativity Slump

31 Fun Things To Do By Yourself

When you’re unhappy with life, you can make changes.

If you find yourself in a state of constant unhappiness and dissatisfaction in life, begin the work of eliminating unhappiness fostering conditions and implementing the strategies for feeling happier.

Keep a journal of your efforts and rank your level of happiness (1 is very unhappy and 10 is very happy) every day.

As you become skilled at “reconditioning” your life, you should see a dramatic improvement in your happiness.

Let’s start a conversation about feeling frequently unhappy. What has been your experience with long-term unhappiness? How have you moved past it?

Source link

The post Why Am I So Unhappy? (15 Top Reasons You’re Miserable) appeared first on Heal your health yourself.

Want to destroy all potential for your personal growth with one sentence? Here it is: That won’t work for me because…

As a former personal finance blogger and now as a productivity coach, I’ve seen this one sentence keep people from making progress on their goals over and over again. Even if you haven’t said it out loud, you’ve probably thought it. I know I have! 

The problem with this little sentence is that it instantly puts you on the defensive, fighting against change, trying to poke holes in any possible solution. Yes, your life is unique and most advice won’t work for you. But when you look for reasons why it won’t work, you miss out on what you could learn and apply. 

So the next time you’re reading a personal development book, taking an online course, looking for help on Pinterest, or listening to a TedTalk, ask yourself these 3 questions:

1. How can I make this work for me?

Your brain likes to be busy with whatever problems you give it. Instead of asking your brain to come up with reasons why something won’t work for you, set your brain to work on figuring out how you can make something work for you. 

Maybe your irregular schedule doesn’t allow you to follow the consistent daily exercise routine recommended by your trainer. Don’t dismiss the advice completely. How can you make it work for you? Think of it as customizing what you learn to support your success. 

2. What part can I take from this advice and apply to my life?

You might not be able to apply 100% of what you learn, but you could take bits and pieces to apply in your life. Imagine you’re taking a course on Pinterest marketing strategy but it’s geared more toward helping food bloggers and you have a service based business. Some of the strategies taught aren’t going to work for you. That doesn’t mean the whole course is a waste of time and money. What parts of the course can you apply to your marketing strategy? If you’re always on the lookout for nuggets of information that you can apply, you’re going to keep growing and moving forward.

“Be patient with yourself. Self-growth is tender; it’s holy ground. There’s no greater investment.” – Stephen Covey

3. If I could make this work for me, what would that look like?

Let’s just imagine that what you’re learning could work for you. What would that look like? Sometimes we get so stuck in our current habits and routines that we think that the way we do things is permanent. Asking this question can help you reevaluate and see your life from a new perspective. 

Maybe the advice that your morning routine should include exercise, meditation, and 20 minutes of reading sounds amazing but impossible. You’ve got multiple reasons why that won’t work for you. But imagine for a minute that you could make it work for you. What would that look like? 

Maybe you would need to wake up earlier, rework your childcare support, go to bed earlier, or go into work later. Now you may not want to do some or all of those things to create that new morning routine, but by imagining what it would look like, you stretch your mind into seeing more options for your life. This puts you in control of deciding what you do and don’t want to do instead of feeling stuck in your current circumstance. 

Anytime you start thinking “That won’t work for me because…” you shut yourself off from all possible growth and learning. You miss out on the little nuggets of goodness that you could apply to your life. 

Instead, ask yourself these three questions:

• How can I make this work for me?
• What part can I take from this advice and apply to my life?
• If I could make this work for me, what would that look like?

These three questions will set your brain to work on figuring out what you can apply and stretch you to see more options available to you. 

Source link

The post How You’re Destroying Your Growth and What to Do Instead appeared first on Heal your health yourself.